Sajuuk

I never asked for much. I can't, no, not anymore. I've taken as much as one could take from life...

It's part of my past, I can clearly remember it. I remember being a bit confused. I was in some sort of devastated room, yeah, just like that post-nuclear stuff. Nothing but dust and ash. I was lying on a...what was that? Some dirty old matress I think, yeah, I can still feel the pain of those motherfucking pieces of shrapnel pressing against my spine. I still don't know how the fuck had I got there. The most persisteny memory related to that incident is the gray light coming from outside. Actually, that woke me up. Heh, how I cursed it at that time, without knowing it would become the most inspiring light that I would ever remember. Oh, the glory...

Then I tried to get up as carefully as I could, not to hurt my back by accident. A single wrong move could've cost me my back, and, in case of infection, even my life. I felt nauseous, as if I were irradiated. I scanned the surroundings and I spotted my mother sitting in a corner with her disappointed face resting in her tired, yet so delicate hands. A hole in the ceiling was illuminating the area. I knew something bad happened, but I couldn't figure out what at that moment. My mother got up and, with her eyes fixed on the ground, she told me something I'll never ever forget, something that's still haunting me. These were her words:


"There's nothing left for us here. Let's go."


Then, in a last attempt of scavenging an old, old radio, she tried hitting it, but there was nothing more than a few unintelligible babbles mixed with some static coming from the old apparatus. I could feel a tear trying to slip out of my eye, down the cheek. That tear could've brought some love to the dust on the floor. "But no, the tear mustn't get away! There's no love! The soil can wait. Besides, why the fuck would I give love when I never had love? Screw you all, I'm a rebel, I'm a teen now." Those were my minds.

"Come, Andrew." Andrew came. Andrew got out of that mess, following his mother into oblivion. But I wanted to go rogue. I wanted more than I could have. Andrew ran away from his destiny. He wanted a new life, a whole new one. A new name, a new age, a new life. A new home. Maybe this would bring him some love. It was time for a change and he decided to overencumber himself with the weight of the whole world. What was alleviating his pain, though, what was his relief? The promise of a new world. A world he'd never share with anyone else. HIS VERY OWN WORLD. "KEEP THE FUCK OUT", he shouted into the wastes. But to no avail, no one could hear him. No one wanted his world anyway...

Forgetfulness was the first brick of the world he was building. "The first step to forgiving is forgetting".
The second brick was a lie. Y'know what I wrote on it? "My name is Andrew". Biggest brick ever.
The rest of the bricks were facts and deeds.


That's the past of A. Alpha, the beginning. That was it. Now he's here, he is real, and he knows this. A long time has passed since those events happened. No, I'm not what I used to be. And I'll never be. For you, I'm Andrew.