Story / Essays request-Four seasons

[vhang123123]

First i am not sure if i am right place to post this thread or not .I really need a help from good writers and readers here to help me on this short stories and essays.The essay should have 80-150words on each seasons.My english is sucks.So do need yours help!

Ok.
First , i related the four seasons and english language together.Thus the essays should have relationship between them.

So on spring.
It suppose to be the beginning of the journey of every english learner.And bla bla bla....(story or essay i needed to help on to continues)

Followed by summer.
It suppose to be the golden peek time and successful period for english learner.and bla bla bla.....

After that is autumn.
English learner start to share his knowledge to every new beginner / childrens /students. continues....

Lastly is winter.
English learner get sicked and finally end of his life.and bla bla bla...


Please i really need your help.
If you find any problem please ask me.Thx for.

[Forceflow]

An entire life in 150 words?

You have almost finished it right there ......

[vhang123123]

It just a summary of life ....Seriously i cant. TT

Plz do help me . plz...

[safetybreak]

I guess it's around 150 words per season, making it around 500 word essay.

The whole point of writing school essays is to improve your English, so asking for someone else to write it for you makes no sense.

[vhang123123]

Originally Posted by safetybreak

I guess it's around 150 words per season, making it around 500 word essay.

The whole point of writing school essays is to improve your English, so asking for someone else to write it for you makes no sense.

No, this is not school essays, it is a small poster that I want to make.

[safetybreak]

Originally Posted by vhang123123

No, this is not school essays, it is a small poster that I want to make.

You mean you want someone else to make it for you? However you look at it, it's still broken logic.

[vhang123123]

Originally Posted by safetybreak

You mean you want someone else to make it for you? However you look at it, it's still broken logic.

Ya....you get your point.
How about i write it down and your all help to improve the language as well as checking the grammar error ? Can ??

here...is a teacher's spring seasons:

A child was born.On bed in hospital at 10a'clock .Baby crying sound spread like smoke to all over the floor where she is.It was a wonderful day.Flower blooming all over the street way back home.Its look like they welcome a new family member.Ester was her name.Living happily with her family being 20 years and she decided to take her own life journey to become a teacher,an english teacher.This is only the beggining of her life that will change what she is and who she is until the end of her life.Here, still is spring season.Moving out the town ,saw blooming trees are shacking their branches to say goodbye.She get into a teaching school,learning how to become a good english teacher as well as improving her language so that she make no mistake while teaching the next generations.

Can you help to improve the story and checking the grammer mistake.I do it by myself , not copying from other.And i think the story should be lengthen.

[safetybreak]

Originally Posted by vhang123123

Ya....you get your point.
How about i write it down and your all help to improve the language as well as checking the grammar error ? Can ??

here...is a teacher's spring seasons:

A child was born.On bed in hospital at 10a'clock .Baby crying sound spread like smoke to all over the floor where she is.It was a wonderful day.Flower blooming all over the street way back home.Its look like they welcome a new family member.Ester was her name.Living happily with her family being 20 years and she decided to take her own life journey to become a teacher,an english teacher.This is only the beggining of her life that will change what she is and who she is until the end of her life.Here, still is spring season.Moving out the town ,saw blooming trees are shacking their branches to say goodbye.She get into a teaching school,learning how to become a good english teacher as well as improving her language so that she make no mistake while teaching the next generations.

Can you help to improve the story and checking the grammer mistake.I do it by myself , not copying from other.And i think the story should be lengthen.

First two sentences should be put into one, and the "on bed" part sounds bit weird.

Third sentence - A baby cry, or a sound of the baby crying. Smoke spreads through, not to.

Fourth and fifth sentence can be merged.

Sixth sentence is written is present, while previously you were writing in past tense. It looked like they were welcoming a new family member.
Also flowers instead of flower, unless that was your intention.

Just write "Her name was Ester". The way you wrote is more poetic, and it doesn't really fit with the rest of the story (unless that was your intention).

Either "She lived happily for twenty years..." or "Living hapilly for twenty years, eventually she decided..."

English in capital letters.

"It was still spring season there", or something among those lines.


As she was moving out of the town, she saw (noticed) blossoming trees shaking their branches for a good bye. Or something similar to that.

Got instead of get, to learn, to improve.

Just a quick check. You need to work on your grammar skills quite a lot. I'm not expert (yet), so I just have given you some simple tips that I would give to any elementary school student.

[vhang123123]

^ Thx...