Originally Posted by vhang123123
Ya....you get your point.
How about i write it down and your all help to improve the language as well as checking the grammar error ? Can ??
here...is a teacher's spring seasons:
Can you help to improve the story and checking the grammer mistake.I do it by myself , not copying from other.And i think the story should be lengthen.
First two sentences should be put into one, and the "on bed" part sounds bit weird.
Third sentence - A baby cry, or a sound of the baby crying. Smoke spreads through, not to.
Fourth and fifth sentence can be merged.
Sixth sentence is written is present, while previously you were writing in past tense. It looked like they were welcoming a new family member.
instead of flower
, unless that was your intention.
Just write "Her name was Ester". The way you wrote is more poetic, and it doesn't really fit with the rest of the story (unless that was your intention).
Either "She lived happily for twenty years..." or "Living hapilly for twenty years, eventually she decided..."
English in capital letters.
"It was still spring season there", or something among those lines.
As she was moving out of the town, she saw (noticed) blossoming trees shaking their branches for a good bye.
Or something similar to that.
Got instead of get, to learn, to improve.
Just a quick check. You need to work on your grammar skills quite a lot. I'm not expert (yet), so I just have given you some simple tips that I would give to any elementary school student.