A great tale

[Wo2-KRONOS]

Plz read it till the end i worked hard on it

A Lonely mirana Was passing by the river

crosssed path with Omni knight a generous giver

he suplied her with heals repel and an armor

but little did she know of what was yonder

An army of Scourge's top 5

was waiting to take away the preistesse's life

She was stunned by their view as she tried to flee

but sandking's burrowstrike reacted quickly

unable to move she heard the tigers voice

and understood that going down fighting was its choice

she was fast enough to make a to-do list

first on the top was to dodge bara's fists

she arrowed him fast and leaped right away to dadge sandkings ulti

without any delay, pudge swiftly hooked her back

where she had to deal with 3 heroes attacks

the fourth to arrive was the Bone fletcher

His burning arrows almost killed her

she was fast enough with the moonlight shadow

and had to survive till she reaches sentinel meadows

harbringers arrival came with a scare

before she could fade he banished her

they 5 are waiting mirana to appear

as mirana is holding her bravery against great fear

the preistess was sure gonna die

and out of the blue she heard a warcry

From the sven himslef accompanied by...

roof the treant and lina the slayer

plz send me more was her prayer

Icarus dived between and saved her life

sven was about to skin the scourges hides

as slayer faught hard with fire in her eyes

and treant was busy as well

for he held enemies paralyzed before they were sent to hell

the finisher from the best of them all

was the preistesse's starfall

the sentinel were victorious

they were happy as never before

they never realized

they won the battle but not the war

Hope u like it

[Kobaiam]

noob team they should carry dust or sentry when they gank mirana

[Wo2-KRONOS]

:/ thats ur comment seriously i wrote this to get that comment !!

[Tain]

Its not Scourge and Sentinel anymore, its Dire and Radiant!

[Swordz]

Bro type it properly, capitalize stuff and remove the typos, the way it is now makes it look like you are 12 years old

[Wo2-KRONOS]

Originally Posted by Swordz

Bro type it properly, capitalize stuff and remove the typos, the way it is now makes it look like you are 12 years old

thx constructive critisism is good

[Erbun]

Along with the capitalization and spelling, also add in proper punctuation. I think it's great, has a neat story, and can tell you worked hard on it, but without punctuation it's hard to hear how it should flow and whatnot.

[Wo2-KRONOS]

Originally Posted by Erbun

Along with the capitalization and spelling, also add in proper punctuation. I think it's great, has a neat story, and can tell you worked hard on it, but without punctuation it's hard to hear how it should flow and whatnot.

thank u for ur oppinion and ur right i should pay attention to many details

[noRman]

[Noxonius]

Originally Posted by Tain

Its not Scourge and Sentinel anymore, its Dire and Radiant!

In Dota 1, it's still Sentinel VS Scourge

In Dota 2, it's Radiant Vs Dire

[Lord_Talron]

wasnt bad. couldve been better.

if you're going for a rhyming scheme, you need to stick too it.

i assume you were going for
1
1

but you didnt keep it up all the time.

[Dark Rogue]

Originally Posted by Wo2-KRONOS

:/ thats ur comment seriously i wrote this to get that comment !!

Oh goodness, this made my day :>

ot: It was definitely a good effort. There's plenty of room for improvement though. Proper punctuation and dividing the whole piece in stanzas would make it much better. There also don't seem to be consistent rhyming patterns, or maybe I'm just missing it. Also, we have a proper forum for this kind of stuff.

[Wo2-KRONOS]

i had some trouble rhyming

[Dark Rogue]

You could reword some phrases, and while you're at it make the lines similar in length.

[Lord_Talron]

Originally Posted by Wo2-KRONOS

i had some trouble rhyming

thats the difference between a good rhymer and a great rhymer. try harder

[DrFrank]

Bara doesn't fight with fists.

[Foede]

Moved to Literature+Fan-Fiction

DC is no place for bleeding hearts o.o

[Utrax]

Nice.

[Wo2-KRONOS]

im ok with it being moved i didnt know where to place it

[Wo2-KRONOS]

im guessing no body cares :/