[AGI - Scourge] The Northspring Harpy

[Banned.Comic]

Changelog

v0.1: starting point, model and name's are posted.
v0.2: Hero Summary posted.
v0.3: First skill is added, Snatch.
v0.4: Skill 2 and the ultimate are added.
v0.5: Third skill is posted, time for reviews.
v0.6: Added a controle panel, so you can see how it would look.
v0.7: Changed the description og the ultimate a bit (effects stayed the same.)
v0.8: Rewrote the background story a bit.
v0.9: changed the second spell from passive to active + decreased max slow of the third spell.

The Northspring Harpy
Edana Hatetalon

Background Story (rewrote this story to the second one): Story in Wowwiki:
More harpies nest in the lush tropical forest of Feralas. The Northspring harpies are among the most dangerous of the matriarchies, and can quickly slaughter the unwary traveler lost in the wilds. As with most of their habitats, the harpies in Feralas clash with the local tauren tribe, base in Camp Mojache. They have greenish skin and dark pink plumage. They are led by Edana Hatetalon.

Background Story:
Edana Hatetalon is the most fearsome within the Northspring harpies which are know as the most dangerous harpies of them all. With her slumber and destructive winds she can quickly disorientate unwary travelers and torment them afterwards. Even though they clash with the local tauran tribe in the lush tropical forest of Feralas, in the end they are true followers of the scourge.

Strength - 16 + [1.8]
Agility - 17 + [2.7]
Intelligence - 19 + [2.0]

or or (last one is her in WoW)

Affiliation:	Scourge
Damage:	45-53
Armor:	2.4
Movespeed:	305
Attack Range:	150 or 500

Controle panel:



or

Snatch - (Active, point-target)

____________________

Edana steals the weapon of her enemy by force with her talons. These talons will injure the enemy's hands making them unable to attack for a breef period.

__	____.	________.	_______.	___.	_______.	__________________________.
	Mana	Cooldown	C. Range	AoE	Duration	Effects
1	70	30	250	N/A	2.00 seconds	The enemy is unable to attack for 2.00 seconds and get 75 damage.
2	80	25	250	N/A	2.75 seconds	The enemy is unable to attack for 2.75 seconds and get 125 damage.
3	90	20	250	N/A	3.50 seconds	The enemy is unable to attack for 3.50 seconds and get 175 damage.
4	100	15	250	N/A	4.25 seconds	The enemy is unable to attack for 4.25 seconds and get 225 damage.

Notes:

• The damage is physical.

Slumber - (AoE, passive)

____________________

All the units near Edana start to slumber and lose their focus making them unable to cast or maintain their cast, all because of a special scent Edana starts to emit from her feathers. The scent will spread with every flap she makes with her wings.

__	____.	________.	_______.	___.	_______.	__________________________.
	Mana	Cooldown	C. Range	AoE	Duration	Effects
1	80	20	N/A	500	5 seconds	Enemy units within the AoE will loses there focus and stop moving for 0.1 seconds every second.
2	90	20	N/A	500	5 seconds	Enemy units within the AoE will loses there focus and stop moving for 0.2 seconds every second.
3	100	20	N/A	500	5 seconds	Enemy units within the AoE will loses there focus and stop moving for 0.3 seconds every second.
4	110	20	N/A	500	5 seconds	Enemy units within the AoE will loses there focus and stop moving for 0.4 seconds every second.

Notes:

• slumbered units are able to attack.

• The enemy can't cast spells because they don't have enough concentration.
  stops channeling, but it doesn't cancel already casted spells, it will only delay them.

• Link with ultimate/4th skill:
  When Edana is in the Tornado, the scent will be spread over the entire AoE.
  When she is in the tornado, the tornado will be her entire AoE meaning that the AoE will only be in the Tornado.

Torment - (AoE, active)

__________or (Howl of Terror icon with a different colour)

Edana torments her victims with unearthly screeches and wails, all the while scratching eyes and tearing flesh with her hideously long fingernails. Enemy units that hear her screeches will slow get slowed, Units that are closer by will get slowed faster. All the enemy units that go into / are in the AoE will be attacked once by an image.

__	____.	________.	_______.	___.	_______.	__________________________.
	Mana	Cooldown	C. Range	AoE	Duration	Effects
1	120	40	N/A	500	5 seconds	Slows enemies movementspeed, max of 25% slow. Slow increases with 5%/second for near units and 1% for boarder units.
2	130	35	N/A	500	6 seconds	Slows enemies movementspeed, max of 30% slow. Slow increases with 6%/second for near units and 1.5% for boarder units.
3	140	30	N/A	500	7 seconds	Slows enemies movementspeed, max of 35% slow. Slow increases with 7%/second for near units and 2% for boarder units.
4	150	25	N/A	500	8 seconds	Slows enemies movementspeed, max of 40% slow. Slow increases with 8%/second for near units and 2.5% for boarder units.

Notes:

• Units can only get attack once by an image, like Pit Lord's Pit of Malice.

• Images are invulnerable. (might need changes)

• Images can also deal the Slumber effect, because the effect will start as soon as the images appear.

• Units with an AoE of 300 are close, meaning they get slowed faster (notice it is also the AoE of the Slumber spell).
  Units between an AoE of 300 and 500 are on the boarder and only get slowed kust a little.

Destructive Wind - (AoE, ground-targetable)

____________________

Edana creates a tornado that slices through anything, when a target gets hit by the tornado it will receive damage over time and gets a 15% movementspeed slow for 3 seconds. In the AoE of the tornado up will become down and left changes too right.

__	____.	________.	_______.	___.	_______.	__________________________.
	Mana	Cooldown	C. Range	AoE	Duration	Effects
1	200	220	800	400	10 seconds	Enemy units within the AoE get 30 dmg/sec, every unit within the AoE will move in the wrong way. Slows the movementspeed for 15% for 3 seconds.
2	250	200	800	400	10 seconds	Enemy units within the AoE get 40 dmg/sec, every unit within the AoE will move in the wrong way. Slows the movementspeed for 15% for 3 seconds.
3	300	180	800	400	10 seconds	Enemy units within the AoE get 50 dmg/sec, every unit within the AoE will move in the wrong way. Slows the movementspeed for 15% for 3 seconds.

Notes:

• The Tornado is controllable and moves in the right directions.

• Units within the AoE can't simply click attack unit to move in the right way.

• The Tornado has a movementspeed of 250.

• Enemy units that get out of the AoE will still be slowed as they will still be disorientated.

• The up-down and left-right effect will last for 1 second after you left the tornado, else you will keep running into the tornado.

[bountyface]

skill 1: delete thread.

description: thread is deleted.

[dixing]

Why do you think PD is your scrap sheet garage? As long as there isnt a WIP section you should fucking post your hero only when its done.
Belgians...

[Banned.Comic]

Originally Posted by bountyface

skill 1: delete thread.
description: thread is deleted.

lol

Originally Posted by dixing

Why do you think PD is your scrap sheet garage? As long as there isnt a WIP section you should fucking post your hero only when its done.
Belgians...

There isn't any particular rule for creating a hero that implies that the hero must be finished in anyway.
It also says suggestions and not completed heroes.

[Foede]

Although we don't have any formal rule against incomplete suggestions, we have decided for the time being to close suggestions that don't really suggest anything. Since this is just an incomplete suggestion, I'll leave it open for the time being.


Any comment or feedback you want to do, do it in a civilized manner, or face the mods wrath. You all have been warned.

[dixing]

Originally Posted by Foede

Any comment or feedback you want to do, do it in a civilized manner, or face the mods wrath. You all have been warned.

You people seem to never be where you are needed, and always there when there is noreal need for you, punishing some puny rages. If you would have done a little research you could understand I always end up reviewing those heroes and probably saving a lot of them from droping to page 20 (much like what this hero was facing).
Face the mods wrath... what a tragedy.

Now for the review : the first skill looks a bit like invokers skill, only target-unit, ok I guess, nothing special.
Second skill looks nice, sort of semi-disable passive, I am not sure whether it might be too strong but the aoe is pretty small so I'm not sure.
The ultimate is nice, contributes to the overall disabling-theme of this hero, however I still wanna see the incomplete skill you have there.
I would like to help you but I wanna hear what you think his theme is!

[Banned.Comic]

Originally Posted by dixing

You people seem to never be where you are needed, and always there when there is noreal need for you, punishing some puny rages. If you would have done a little research you could understand I always end up reviewing those heroes and probably saving a lot of them from droping to page 20 (much like what this hero was facing).
Face the mods wrath... what a tragedy.

Now for the review : the first skill looks a bit like invokers skill, only target-unit, ok I guess, nothing special.
Second skill looks nice, sort of semi-disable passive, I am not sure whether it might be too strong but the aoe is pretty small so I'm not sure.
The ultimate is nice, contributes to the overall disabling-theme of this hero, however I still wanna see the incomplete skill you have there.
I would like to help you but I wanna hear what you think his theme is!

Well I admit that I might have posted this hero a bit too early

The theme should be something like disorientating the enemy hero, but I'm not so sure if everything is decodeable as it has never been used before in DotA. (Not sure of this, because I never played the really hero DotA versions. [the once of 6 years ago])

Third skill is posted now.

[TWISTER300]

Change the name of the ulti.It's too long

[Banned.Comic]

Originally Posted by TWISTER300

Change the name of the ulti.It's too long

Yeah, you might be right. I'll make it a little shorter.
I need more spells reviews tho

[Audacious]

First spell: Like it.

Second spell: How often is slumber checked? If you know what I mean?
With that said, I see no reason why this should be a passive spell.

I recommend that you make it active and able to counter channeling spells.

Extra note: After reading the third spell, then I believe that you should change the slow but make slumber a silence and AS reduction in a wave.

Third spell: Like it a lot though I think that a max slow duration on 10 sec is far to good. Throw the first spell and you can run up close which is way to easy. I think that the illusion think ruin the focus of a already really really good spell. but some kind of damage could and only could be interesting, though it really isn't needed. I recommend just to take it away and make is a simple slow nova depending on range.

Fourth spell: More ms slow. This spell need a total remake. It isn't innovative or that useful when you got insane slow already.

Overall I really like some of the ideas but I hoped that the ulti was better.

Great job and keep it up.

Best regards,

Audacious.

[Banned.Comic]

Thanks for the review Audacious.

I'll change some numbers of the second skill, but I don't know if I'm going to remove the illusion. I'll let them stay for a little longer and if a better idea pops-up I'll use that one instead

I'll start with changing the second skill into an active one. Now this would be my general idea.

Slumber - (AoE, passive)

____________________

All the units near Edana start to slumber and lose their focus making them unable to cast or maintain their cast, all because of a special scent Edana starts to emit from her feathers. The scent will spread with every flap she makes with her wings.

__	____.	________.	_______.	___.	_______.	__________________________.
	Mana	Cooldown	C. Range	AoE	Duration	Effects
1	80	20	N/A	500	5 seconds	Enemy units within the AoE will loses there focus and stop moving for 0.1 seconds every second.
2	90	20	N/A	500	5 seconds	Enemy units within the AoE will loses there focus and stop moving for 0.2 seconds every second.
3	100	20	N/A	500	5 seconds	Enemy units within the AoE will loses there focus and stop moving for 0.3 seconds every second.
4	110	20	N/A	500	5 seconds	Enemy units within the AoE will loses there focus and stop moving for 0.4 seconds every second.

Notes:

• slumbered units are able to attack.

• The enemy can't cast spells because they don't have enough concentration.
  stops channeling, but it doesn't cancel already casted spells, it will only delay them.

• When Edana is in the Tornado, the scent will be spread over the entire AoE.
  When she is in the tornado, the tornado will be her entire AoE meaning that the AoE will only be in the Tornado.

The ultimate might need some changes. changing the slow into something else might work fine, but I don't know what that something else is right now