[int-sentinel] Carly, Lost Rider

[Taztingo]

WARNING. Anything in this guide can be changed at any time. Please judge on concept, ideas, and feelings on hero not any type of numbers. Any ideas, complaints, and honesty are appreciated so please say something .

Carly
Lost Rider

Contents

1. Changelog
2. Background + Other Info
3. Stats
4. Abilities
5. Item builds
6. Friends and Foes
7. Image Sources ( For the heck of it )

Changelog

1/16/10

Changed sight ranged to 1800/1600.

Changed Damage to 41-52.

Fixed some typos in story.

1/12/10

Changed Stalk -> Dedication

Put a speed decrease on Dedication for opponent

Changed Swiftness -> Whip

Reworked Whip as a cast

1/8/10

Changed duration on Unpredictable Shot.

Changed duration on Concussion Shot.

Changed mana on Unpredictable Shot.

Changed damage on Unpredictable Shot.

Changed mana on Blow Horn.

Changed duration of Grab.

1/7/10

Fixed some numbers on Concussion Shot

Changed Ultimate

Changed Swiftness -> Stalk

Added Notes for each section

Tables added to make skills easier to read

Background + Other Info
The Model (Night Elf Archer):


Carly is known as the highest ranked archer of the Sentinel. During the third war her role became very important, helping to lead the Night Elf troops. She was given her own hippogryph mount and a horn. The mount to further aid her and her troops for war, and the horn for her to call for an emergency hippogryph. Towards the end of the war her hippogryph was shot down from the sky by enemy forces. She was left falling to the ground, with a dead hippogryph. A holy knight known as Chen healed Carly, and asked for help. Carly now joins this new war, aiding the Sentinel.

This hero is being pushed as an Intellect Chaser. She may change to another attribute if desired, by enough people. The other purpose of this hero is to incorporate a lot of new play styles. A new way to control a lane and a completely different kind of disable rather than a stun, hex, or etc. I wanted to have a lot of originality and thought very hard for it.

Stats





Affiliation: Sentinel
Damage: 41 - 52
Strength: 16 + 1.75
Agility: 19 + 1.9
Intelligence: 21 + 2.5
Armor: 2.0
Movespeed: 300
Attack Range: 600
Attack Animation: 0.7 / 0.3
Casting Animation: 0.3 / 0.5
Base Attack Time: 1.7
Missile Speed: 1000
Sight Range: 1800 / 1600


Abilities

Concussion Shot (Target Cast)

Carly's huge amount of experience with bows allows her to fire an extremely strong shot. The shot causes a concussion and messes up the view of the unit. The unit takes x damage and the player's camera angle swerves left and right for y seconds. (Drunk kind of effect, making it hard to click)

Level 1: 70 damage, 3.5 seconds. Level 2: 140 damage, 4 seconds. Level 3: 210 damage, 4.5 seconds. Level 4: 280 damage, 5 seconds. Mana: 90, 110, 125, 140 Cooldown: 18/16/14/12 Usage: The main usage of this skill would be used as your early game nuke or chasing nuke. You also allow yourself to synergize with the other ability Unpredictable Shot. It's going to be hard moving in a path back to base allowing for a lot of clicking from enemy. (Probably have to read other skill first, to understand it more)

Notes: The camera is locked to the unit so that the minimap cannot be used, and camera cannot be scrolled. You also cannot aim this shot, its a unit target spell.

Unpredictable Shot (Non target)

With the amount of experience from battle, Carly can punish any hero off-guard. Any hero that is ordered (not including spells) not targeting an object(like a creep or hero) will be shot at for x damage. The spell lasts y seconds.

Level 1: 25 damage, 7 seconds. Level 2: 35 damage, 10 seconds. Level 3: 50 damage, 13 seconds. Level 4: 65 damage, 15 seconds. Mana: 125/140/155/175 Cooldown: 15/25/40/50 Aoe Distance: Not sure yet Usage: This skill helps you dominate the lane and also synergizes quite nicely with your other skills. Your opponent will be clicking a lot with the ultimate and also with Concussion. It also helps with getting runners, they need to click to get away.

Notes: This is an instant cast spell. Every time a unit in the aoe uses a non target order it will take damage. Orders consist of move, stop, hold position, patrol. Spells are not counted.

Dedication (Passive)

Her dedication to killing her target, is one of the many traits she was known for. For each succesful attack her movement speed increases by x for up to 10 charges, and slows her targets movement speed by y for up to 10 charges.

Level 1: 1.5 Ms per charge, 1.5 Ms per charge. Level 2: 3 Ms per charge, 2.5 Ms decrease per charge. Level 3: 5 Ms per charge, 3.5 Ms decrease per charge. Level 4: 7.5 Ms per charge, 4.5 Ms decrease per charge. Mana: N/A Cooldown: N/A Usage: It was hard to figure out what kind of spell to put in next, but I think I thought of something that synergizes quite nicely. It gives you the speed boost you need to catch runners.

Notes: This is a passive so you do not cast it. It's every time you damage a unit by your attack, and not by any spells. Denying also counts as an attack.

Thanks to Dark Kenshi and galuf for the idea.

Blow Horn (Ultimate) (Non Target Instant)

Using the horn she was given at the beginning of the third war Carly calls for an allied hippogryph, and mounts it. While mounted she cannot cast any spells, except for Grab, and can fly over trees and terrain. Lasts x seconds, or until Grab is used.

Level 1 - 10 seconds. Level 2 - 20 seconds. Level 3 - 30 seconds. Mana: 200/325/450 Cooldown: 170/160/150 Usage: The usage for this is actually quite great. With the two sub-skills it gives you the last bit of speed boost to get any runners, and it also gives you a different kind of disable.

Notes: You gain 2 abilities, and can only use them. You also lose the hippogryph after the passes time, unless Grab is used.

Whip(Instant Non Target) Using the whip attached to the saddle of the hippogryph, Carly whips the hippogryph for a slight 5 second speed boost. She is given 3 charges that recharge, and each charge allows for a whip. If used with 0 charges the hippogryph reduces normal movespeed by half for 5 seconds. Charges regenerate after 10 seconds. Level 1 - 425 Level 2 - 475 Level 3 - 522 (Or whatever max is) Cooldown: 0 Manacost: 0 Notes: You lose this skill when you get off the mount. Each whip costs a charge, and charges regenerate. If you use all your charges you can still whip again, which would cause you to be slowed for 5 seconds. Grab (Target Cast) Carly signals for her final order on the hippogryph. She jumps off and has the hippogrpyh grabs her enemy, and bring it up in the air. While in the air the targeted unit cannot move, attack, or cast spells. Only ranged units may attack this unit, lasts x seconds. Level 1 - 3 seconds. Level 2 - 3.5 seconds. Level 3 - 4 seconds. Notes: A new kind of disable. It allows you to grab any chaser and punish him, and it can work great in a battle as well. Take out a tank while you kill caster etc... After you use this you will lose your hippogryph.

Item Builds
Coming very soon... (Sorry got tired tonight)

Friends and Foes
Coming very soon... (Sorry got tired tonight)

Image Sources

Strength, Agility and Intelligence by playdota.com: DotA Heroes
Concussion by FrIkY: BTNStarsYellow - Warcraft 3 Icons

Dedication by Blizzard Entertainment: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/wo...zenarchery.png

Unpredictable Shot by X.e.r.e.X: BTNXShinyArrow - Warcraft 3 Icons

Blow Horn by Palaslayer: BTNHorn - Warcraft 3 Icons

Grab by Blizzard Entertainment: http://classic.battle.net/war3/image...s/crowform.gif

Whip by Blizzard Entertainment: http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/wo...easttaming.png

[Fate Trap]

Funny hero... Numbers should be changed and that spinning is making my head dizzy Need many changes... Good luck with it...

[Taztingo]

Lol could you clue me in for some numbers? Thank you.

[Fate Trap]

OK, For First skill 20sec looks too much I think...

A lil offtopic: Pls review my hero

[Taztingo]

Ok sure, not really good with cooldowns and manacost. You think having units not following orders for ultimate and concussion would be good, so they just can't click minimap? Oh shoot forgot to put aoe for unpredictable. I already reviewed him .

[Dark Kenshi]

Concussion Shot: I’ve seen this idea toyed with a bit on DA forums, the best version I’ve seen was done by Rubadub (a very accomplished hero creator) and the ability inverted the hero users commands so if they clicked their base it would run them towards the enemies base and so forth. I really don’t think that the players screen being disoriented is the best way to go, I suggest changing it to something like this.
When a player makes a command it has a % chance to not occur. So if you are Lina and Concussion Shot is cast on you, than you click your base there is a chance that nothing will happen. Or if you cast a spell, it might not happen. So you would have to recast or reclick the map. Of course the drawback is the player could simply click rapidly, so that is something to be taken into consideration.

Unpredictable Shot: Having one ability that is based around a players “clicks” is enough. This skills is unnecessarily complex and should be made much simpler. Synergy doesn’t have to be so perfect. Think of Leoric, he has a Stormbolt and a Critical Strike. The two spells don’t directly help one another but the combo of Stunning an opponent and than having time to get to melee range and land a Critical Strike is synergetic.

Swiftness is a bad spell and needs to be removed. Doesn’t make sense to gain movement speed of killing units and is to similar to Shadow Fiends passive.
Maybe something cooler like a passive that steals 1% ms per attack and stacks up like 16 times or something. A bit like Visage’s ability Grave Chill but in a passive version and much more balanced. And this spell is different because it can only be used to chase since you constantly have to be attacking and not running away for you to gain movement speed.

Air Strike: Weird ability that doesn’t necessarily fit the bill of a chaser hero, this is more an AoE ability like a non channeling Freezing Field that is slower and weaker.

In all I think you need to design the hero around a role and not so much a gimmick. The gimmick in this case involves a player’s commands. Once you have a role such as chaser and a theme such as archer (which is overdone) than you can work on the fun gimmick spells. It is a damn shame that you didn’t include the hippogryph because it is a great animation and mounting a summoned unit is something that is unique to the game.


EDIT: Just had a really cool idea, the concussion shot that I suggested + a curse ability that makes the hero take damage every time it is given a command. This would create great synergy between the spells with a fun effect and stay true to the hero.

[Taztingo]

Lol finally an in depth review. I will think up some new ideas to fix it up a bit. Thank you.

[Taztingo]

Bump, updated today. Changed ultimate and Passive.

EDIT: Just had a really cool idea, the concussion shot that I suggested + a curse ability that makes the hero take damage every time it is given a command. This would create great synergy between the spells with a fun effect and stay true to the hero.

That's what unpredictable shot is for .

[コクーン]

Weedle's Mini (Or Not) Review...

Carly the Lost Rider

Concept ~ So she's a high-ranked officer for the night elves who now joins the Sentinel to fight alongside her brethren and sisters -- I am likin' it! Another reason why I like it is because usually, when the word Archer comes to mind in DotA, you think, "not another imba DPS *facepalm*" but this new idea brings up another thought about Archers. Archers are like the blondes in DotA context and they honestly need facelifts. I think your shines a new light to the meaning of the word. I think I'm talking too much. Proceeding.

Hero Individuality ~ Hero is most definitely individual, considering she was a hippogryph rider who fell on her back and was nursed back to health by Chen. LOL.

Stats ~ I find nothing wrong with her stats. I'm not gonna get too in-depth about it since they look fine to me and there's a big warning in red to base my review solely on the idea. On to the skills!

Concussion Shot

Concept ~ Wow did I say new? I meant unprecedented! I have no idea if this is codeable but I'm really hoping it is. Really very cool, very unique concept which I find real interesting.

Balance ~ I know you said to base my review on idea, but just one thought: the durations are way too long! Not only is the character having a concussion, so is the player! I suggest lowering it to, hmm, 2/2.5/3/3.5 seconds? I am just really concerned about the reaction to the player's eyes to the camera swaying to and fro. Who knows, someone could get dizzy because of the long duration and get a concussion too! Other than that, the skill's good.

Unpredictable Shot

Concept ~ This hero, I can see now, is all about unprecedented things. Like the first skill, this skill is different, which I like.

Balance ~ Ok, first of all, I think this skill is only good if your opponent is afk half of the game. I do not think it will find any use if your opponent is always in motion, and the damage is not worth the mana! I know you can change it, but I just get depressed to see it. Overall the skill is simple, yet complex. Nice job, you managed to confuse the Weedle.

Stalk

Concept ~ My only problem is the name. I think it is completely irrelevant to the +MS per charge. However, the +MS every time you kill a unit sold me on the concept.

Balance ~ No problems with balance, no numbers need changing, moving on.

Blow Horn

Concept ~ Cool concept: great for escaping, chasing, AND ganking! Very versatile, not to mention one of a kind.

Balance ~ Ok, I like how you made it so that Blow Horn is stopped when Grab is casted. The manacost is crazy! I know you just did this because you don't cast any more spells while on the mount, but no skill in the game costs THAT much mana! Other than the mana issue, the skill is great!

Swiftness

Concept ~ Good concept. Once again, unique. Great addition to the ultimate.

Balance ~ No balance issues of any kind!

Grab

Concept ~ I can tell you put some thought into this spell, and once again, you've impressed me with your one-of-a-kind ideas. Simply brilliant.

Balance ~ Only problem is duration. 5 seconds is too long, and you already have a concussion-giving nuke, why make your ultimate hurt even more? Lol.

Final Words

You can probably tell by now how intrigued I am by your originality and uniqueness. How do you come up with such ideas? I can't even come up with a simple unique spell even if it hit me right in the face. All I can say is excellent job, you've done fantastic work with the concept, and I can trust you to tweak the numbers. Thanks for reading!

[Taztingo]

Thank you, that was a great review . I don't mind if you tell me to adjust numbers. Just didn't want people coming in saying this hero is imba by stats and bye. (Witnessed this in dota-allstars.com forums). Sure I will fix the number.

Ok, first of all, I think this skill is only good if your opponent is afk half of the game. I do not think it will find any use if your opponent is always in motion, and the damage is not worth the mana! I know you can change it, but I just get depressed to see it. Overall the skill is simple, yet complex. Nice job, you managed to confuse the Weedle.

I'm not sure if I read your opinion wrong or if I posted my spell in a bad way lol. But, it punishes heros if they do any type of order. So it helps like in a gank if someone is running away or even lane controlling against your opponent for creep denying. (I see people dance back and forth with movement, when they last hit or deny). This would punish them and make them dance in a different way.

Overall I will change the numbers, thank you it was a tremendous help.

[EebstertheGreat]

I somewhat doubt the camera-shaking is codable, and to be honest, I think it would be very annoying.

Other than that, I like the concept a lot. I don't think I would use this hero, but I can definitely see her role, and I think her abilities are very original

Briefly, I don't think the numbers are balanced, but that would be mostly decided by play-testing. But in particular, I think Unpredictable Shot is currently really imba. 100 dmg every time somebody issues a nontargeted command? Some people will do this many times per second. We are therefore talking about hundreds of damage per second for up to 40 seconds. Obviously that is a problem. Perhaps a more balanced number would be 6/12/18/24 dmg? With 600 AOE? Actually, you could just make it a passive ability in that case. Or you could make it activated but just for a short time (10 sec, let's say), but make each shot deal 3/4/5/6 more damage than the last. Then if, say, 20 nontargeted commands are issued during the duration in the AOE by a single hero, that hero will take 1,620 (magical?) damage, while if that hero issues only 6, it will take only 252.

Or even better, you could change it from shooting heroes who issue any nontargeted commands, to it shooting heroes who issue TARGETED commands on her. Then the numbers could presumably be much higher.

[Taztingo]

Updated, I fixed the numbers. And yes it is codeable. Thank you for the help . It is very appreciated.

If someone gets attacked I don't see why they would continue to order their unit a million times. I do agree that the damage was way too high though. So thank you.

[コクーン]

Originally Posted by Taztingo

Thank you, that was a great review . I don't mind if you tell me to adjust numbers. Just didn't want people coming in saying this hero is imba by stats and bye. (Witnessed this in dota-allstars.com forums). Sure I will fix the number.



I'm not sure if I read your opinion wrong or if I posted my spell in a bad way lol. But, it punishes heros if they do any type of order. So it helps like in a gank if someone is running away or even lane controlling against your opponent for creep denying. (I see people dance back and forth with movement, when they last hit or deny). This would punish them and make them dance in a different way.

Overall I will change the numbers, thank you it was a tremendous help.

Ahhh, that explains a lot, lol. Pardon my not getting it very quickly. If that's the case, then I love it even more!

[talkingmuffin]

This isn't my official review yet, but I noticed something with a quick glance; Grab has the same icon as Flying Courier.

[EebstertheGreat]

Originally Posted by talkingmuffin

This isn't my official review yet, but I noticed something with a quick glance; Grab has the same icon as Flying Courier.

That's not really a problem. Exort has the same icon as Perseverance. Earthshock has the same icon as Split Earth. Actually, reusing icons is fairly common in DotA.

Originally Posted by Taztingo

Updated, I fixed the numbers. And yes it is codeable. Thank you for the help . It is very appreciated.

If someone gets attacked I don't see why they would continue to order their unit a million times. I do agree that the damage was way too high though. So thank you.

70 dmg is not much better. Keep in mind, this spell lasts FORTY SECONDS. This means at level 5, you can cast this spell once, and make farming impossible for your enemies for quite a while. Do you just stand still while farming and attack creeps? You never walk back and forth (how exactly will huskar harass, for example)? You never use animation canceling (Traxex will get very mad at you)? This will severely limit your abilities. Worse, while you are standing still, other heroes will find ganking a breeze. Imagine combining this with Ancient Apparition's ultimate! Or even just Illuminate.

Seventy damage is a lot early game. At level seven, your enemies might have what, 900 hp? 70 magical damage is still 53 dmg after reduction, and if you figure the enemy will manage to reduce clicking to just once every four seconds (severely compromising his ability to farm or do just about anything), the spell will still deal more than half his life in damage by itself. It will damage much faster even than tangoes can heal! And forget about salves while this spell is up.

You really need to reduce either the duration or the damage. Right now, it is just way imbalanced.

[Taztingo]

I'm very bad with balancing so thank you for replying again. I reduced the cooldowns and the damage by just a little bit.

[GuyManDude]

Carly lol that's a stupid name
Lost Rider? err that's for nerds like you

[Fate Trap]

@GuyManDude
Be ontopic
Nice changelog It is much better now..

[talkingmuffin]

Official Review

Model

I obviously like the model since I have a suggestion using this model too

Background Story

Your story doesn't make a whole lot of sense and you should think about changing the Chen part to something else, maybe just say she was saved by a holy knight or something instead of tying Chen into it. It doesn't make much sense because you say she is the greatest archer in the Sentinel, but then you also talk about how she joins the Sentinel because of Chen?

Stats

Fine. Maybe increase the damage some (quite a few INT heroes have rather high base damage).

Concussion Shot

Reminds me of the Smashed effect in World of Warcraft. Overall, its a unique spell but I find it pretty strong due to the amount of time of each level. Maybe make it 2/3/4/5 seconds instead of 3.5/4/4.5/5?

Unpredictable Shot

So this skill is basically a Return Fire mechanism whereas instead of counterattacking it is just targeting any actions. I like it but I also don't like it. The higher the skill level of players is, generally the more clicks they make. This skill could be awfully annoying or overpowered depending on the AoE you make it (I suggest 500 so that it is less than her attack range).

Stalk

I really don't like this skill because MS has nothing to do with her other skills. If anything I think this concept should be Barathrum's aura (make him attack to get the bonus movement speed). My only suggestion is a new skill. The other abilities on this hero don't have anything to do with movement speed

Blow Horn

I like this but I think level 3 is way too long so maybe scale it like 10/15/20 seconds? Batrider's Firefly is only 15 seconds but its obvious how powerful the ability to go anywhere is (and that's without increased movement speed).

Swiftness

I understand the increased movement speed here, but not on Skill 3. Overall good addition since you're getting another ability with the ultimate.

Grab

I really like this skill because I had an item with roughly the same concept as this (were Gauntlets that grabbed a hero at melee range and the grabbed hero can't leave your side for X seconds). Although you say it is a new kind of disable, it really isn't since it is basically a stun. Nevertheless I like the idea and the twist of how the stun works. The time on this skill is fine also.

Overall

Good presentation, good skills with unique ideas (excluding the passive). If my archer concept wasn't accepted, this would be the next best one in my opinion .

[kings.empire]

Hero Review Time!

Skill 1: Very nice! Will screw chasers or runners tremendously.

Skill 2: A bit similar to rupture however can be countered by clicking as less as possible which is very hard to do in a gank.

Also 15 seconds might be too strong since it will likely be used mostly in ganks (perfect skill to use imo). Either 10/15/20/25 damage for 15 seconds or 20/40/60/80 damage for 5 seconds or 10/20/30/40 for 10 seconds. I think that would work best if it was scaled this way, just pick which poison you like really.

Skill 3: An MS booster which needs to be removed since the ultimate gives her max movespeed at level 3 making this null and void'd.

However to make it usable, might as well take off swiftness on hypogrpyh rider. Either one has to go.

If this stays however, "stalking" isn't really attacking to gain MS...it's more like hiding in the shadows and not attacking...know what I mean? Maybe you gain a charge every x seconds and when someone attacks you, you lose that charge?

Makes it kind of boring though...needs a bit more thinking...hmm...I'll try to come up with something later.

Ultimate: Really hurts that it can't cast any spells meaning it will have to do so before she takes flight which kind of bites since non-obstructive vision would make her the perfect chaser.

Also having maxed MS as a boost is a bit too similar to Lycan's ult and with non-obstructive vision, this will be very cheap considering she is also ranged.

Grab is pretty boring and very cheap since swiftness gives maxed MS making 4 sec disable easy as pie really.

I think the Ultimate needs a bit rethinking in what it should do however I like the idea of using a hyppogryph.

Overall: Skill 1 is great, skill 2 is okay, skill 3 and ultimate needs a bit reworking. Hope this helps