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Old 04-27-2010, 05:22 AM   #1
shippoukitsune
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Default A Dota nutty story (complete) (17 chaps + filler)


Hi folks, it's been a while since I indulged myself in forums again and now that I'm free from my college work again, I would like to repost my old fanfic back in my DP days (now I'm in PD since they are down...) and I do hope some of the members remembered my work back then XD

I'm here to share a 200+ page of novel self-written by me. The English that I'm using is neither fancy nor bad, it's just that I like to keep it simple for everyone to understand it. And this story was written back in 2008, so readers do not have to post suggestion for my stories but just a simple review from those that have read this would be cool. Of course it will take time to type it out but I've already posted this in another forum, so all I have to do is to rip out from my other forum and paste here as well (since it's mine, I have the rights to do that anyway...) I will be posting out each chapter slowly and wait for some response. If I can get better response over here, I might be officially posting my new chapters over here rather than ripping out from my other forum. Without further ado, here's my very own Dota Nutty Story, enjoy

Here's the link for the chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Filler


Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Bluedrake (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Shippoukitsune)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Before I start I have to tell you that this work is totally made by me (Bluedrake) and I just feel like publishing my stories here. I'm having a busy college life and therefore I might not be able to update it regularly. However, the drafts of this entire story has been drafted and written down in my novel collection so my only problem is typing it out (I'm a darn lazy typist...). The stories that I write has totally nothing to do with Icefrog or the actual gameplay. It's all FICTION. Anyway, on with the story!!!

Chapter 1: Looking for the right spot

It all started in a continent named Kalimdor and our sentinel leader, Furion was whining about his pathetic life as a druid...

Furion : Darn it! My life is so boring! All I get to do is communicating with dumb animals, dumb forest and dumb people!!
Mirana : Are you saying that I'm dumb?
Furion : Uh... Of course not, sweetheart... i'm just thinking that i should be doing something else meaningful and cool...
Mirana : Like what? Becoming a hotel manager or be a restaurant manager?
Furion : That's it! I know what I should be doing! A hotel manager!
Mirana : I've got to stop giving him weird ideas....

And so, Furion began to scout for a good location to build his hotel. He soon found a perfect spot to build his hotel but unfortunately, the land was occupied by Leragas the Vile. ( the old fart that sell expensive crap items...) Furion felt that the land should be used for a better purpose instead of letting an old fart standing there to rot...

Furion : Er... Excuse me Mr, Leragas?
Leragas : Where shall my blood be spilled?
Furion : I beg your pardon?
Leragas : That's what I'm suppose to say when someone talked to me...
Furion : Right... Anyway, I came here to tell you that i'm building a hotel over here at your place an----
Leragas : And I'm going to be your VIP guest for the opening day?? I will be totally honoured to be your VIP guest!!
Furion : That was not what I'm going to say. And one more thing, I need to get your ass out of this place and find another place to sell your crappy items!
Leragas : How dare you!? I've occupied this place since World War 1 and I refused to get kicked out by you!
Furion : When exactly was World War 1?
Leragas : I'm not really sure, i just made that up...
Furion : I have no time for your lame excuses or jokes!! Just get your ass out of this place and no one will get hurt!
Leragas : But what about my loyal customers?
Furion : What loyal customers? This place is always empty and I hardly sees anyone visiting your shop!

Behind Furion, a dozen of Dota heroes were behind Furion, waiting impatiently...

Kunkka : Get lost if you're not buying anything, you old fart!
Morghul Khan : Don't waste our time!
Furion : Ever heard of first come first served? And didn't your parents teach you to respect the elders?
Kunkka : Ok, that's it! This douchebag just pissed me off! Tiny, could you show Furion how we get rid of trouble makers?
Tiny : Gababa.... (He can't really talk in the game..)

Instantly, Tiny grabbed Furion by the neck and tossed him out of the shop. Furion was cursing and swearing before landing into the river with a loud splash...

Morghul Khan : That dude is totally annoying the crap out of me...
Kunkka : I never like that bastard anywa--- Hey, what are you doing in here!! This is the Sentinel's secret shop!!!
Morghul Khan : It is?!?! Oh man, I'm out of here!!

Before Axe could run away, all the sentinel heroes beat the crap out of him before tossing his body into the river. Back to the story, Furion was still thinking for a plan to get rid of Leragas. Having no other choice, he summoned his elite warrior...

Squee and Spleen : You called for us sir?
Furion : Yes I did. I heard rumors saying that you are good at demolishing stuffs, aren't you?
Squee and Spleen : we sure are! What do you want me to blow up?
Furion : You know that old fart Leragas the Vile? I want you to blow him into pieces so that i could build a hotel over there...
Squee and Spleen : What do I get in return?
Furion : * Thinks very hard...* I will provide insurance to compensate your death.
Squee and Spleen : Well, ok...

Back at the secret shop, the Goblin techies armed themselves with C4 and Nukes and marched to Leragas...

Leragas : Where shall my blood be spilt?
Furion : This would be a good place! Get him!!!

Leragas' eyes popped out upon seeing the Goblin Techies charging at him with the dynamites and C4's in their hands. Knowing really well that the duo will blow him up, Leragas began to run for his life...

Squee and Spleen : Do not run. we are your friends!
Leragas : Yea right! You said that to everyone and I would be a fool not to run!
Squee and Spleen : Well, you are right about that. You have to thank Sean Kingston for his "beautiful girls" song. We will have you suicidal, suicidal!
Leragas : Get away from me, freaks!!!

As Leragas continued to run, Sean Kingston appeared out of nowhere and began singing "beautiful Girls". Leragas stood in front of him with a 'WTF?' look, totally forgot that he was being chased...

Sean Kingston : Leragas, it was back in 99 watching movies all the time when I went away for doing my first crime....
Leragas : What the hell? I don't even know you!
Sean Kingston : * Point at his back* They have you suicidal, suicidal!!

Before Leragas could scream for his mother-in-law, a loud BOOM was heard and the announcer from the game confirmed the death of the douchebags...

Announcer : Squee and Spleen just got a double kill! Leragas the Vile (level 1) and Sean Kingston (level 1) has fallen!
Furion : YES!!! With Leragas gone, the land is mine!!!

And so, Furion discussed with Tinker the constructor and began building the hotel on the secret shop location. With the building being constructed, Furion began to look for employees...

Will Furion be able to fulfill his dreams as a hotel manager or will trouble reign over him? And who will he recruit to be his employees? Don't forget to check out my next chapter!

This chapter is the shortest one compared to all my future chapters. Please leave a comment and tell me if you like it. Please don't flame me but constructive criticism is accepted. And good reviews motivates me to type faster Sorry for the messy outcome btw, I've just typed the story in my notepad and paste it directly over here so, the format is pretty screwed up... (Note: No celebrities or dota heroes were hurt during the production of this fanfic. Yeah right, haha....)
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Last edited by shippoukitsune; 08-18-2010 at 10:53 AM.
Old 04-27-2010, 05:43 AM   #2
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost)

I had read this back at DP and I must say it's a nice fanfic. ^_^
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Old 04-27-2010, 07:00 AM   #3
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost)

This story seems familiar... at DP, right?
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Old 04-27-2010, 07:20 AM   #4
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost)

Guess some people still remember me
Yes, I'm back from DP and will repost it with new updates till the end of the novel, just hope I am actually hardworking enough to type it. This is my 2nd pen name besides than Bluedrake (if you still remember that is )
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:50 AM   #5
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost)

Quote:
Originally Posted by shippoukitsune View Post
Hi folks, it's been a while since I indulged myself in forums again and now that I'm free from my college work again, I would like to repost my old fanfic back in my DP days (now I'm in PD since they are down...) and I do hope some of the members remembered my work back then XD
Oh my god! This is the story! You are the writer who wrote this funny story? Man! You're the guy who inspired me to write my first fan fic two years ago. You're also my first english fan fic that I read about dota, and I loved it! I hope you can update quickly so I can see what happened next after Rikimaru and Akasha became **** (spoiler, not telling you.)! T-up to anything related to your works!
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Old 04-27-2010, 09:39 AM   #6
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost)

haha, it's a small world then. In addition to my return, I will be adding in fillers in between the chapters to explain more on each character. This time, I'm back for good
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Old 04-27-2010, 01:43 PM   #7
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost)

holy shit that was funny! oh man, you're so good at it! totally gonna add it on my signature.

damn you're so awesome, i can't stop laughing here! i actually read it thrice, and just so you know, i don't just do that to any fan fictions. not even mine !!
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:03 PM   #8
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost)

Quote:
Originally Posted by kingarthas25 View Post
holy shit that was funny! oh man, you're so good at it! totally gonna add it on my signature.

damn you're so awesome, i can't stop laughing here! i actually read it thrice, and just so you know, i don't just do that to any fan fictions. not even mine !!
Wow, thanks for the support, it really meant a lot to me. And since there are a lot of you that really liked this story, then I will post the next chapter then, it has already been typed out anyway. Here's my quick and easy deal with all of you, the more the reviews I get, the faster I will post and upload it here, what do you say? I'm sure it's an offer that none of you can refuse

Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Bluedrake (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Shippoukitsune)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Chapter 2: Employees needed!

Within two days, the hotel was completed (due to the cheats of "Warpten" keyed in by the author...) and Furion began to look for some henchmen to help him...

Furion : So the hotel is ready. Who should I hire to help me?
Rikimaru : (Blink Striked next to Furion out of nowhere...) What about me? I could use a job!
Furion : Jesus! Uh... I mean... Elune!! You nearly gave me a heart attack! Give me one damn good reason why should I hire you or else don't even think about being one of my crew members!
Rikimaru : Well, as I said I don't have a job and I don't expect to have a high salary while working for you...
Furion : Good point... Very well, from now on you will be known as Rikimaru the Bellboy instead of Stealth Assassin!
Rikimaru : WHAT!?!? You've got to be kidding me!
Furion : Who's the manager here?
Rikimaru : You are...
Furion : Good. Now stop complaining and run off before I come up with a better name for you. And make sure you are at the hotel by 8.00 a.m. tomorrow!
Rikimaru : This really sucks... (Blinked strike away before Furion could say anything more...)
Furion : Well I found myself a douche bag to help me, who will be next?

Unbeknownst to Furion, he was being watched by Balanar the Night Stalker and within an instant, he was behind Furion and gave him another heart attack...

Balanar : (Tapped Furion's back...) Yo, old man!
Furion : What the hell is wrong with you people?! Can't you just meet me from the front?
Balanar : Sorry about that... I'm used to stalking people and I just couldn't help myself doing that...
Furion : So, let me take a wild guess... You are here to kill me?
Balanar : Not today though. I kinda overheard about your problem and I'm here to apply for a job. You would hire me, right? since your hotel does state "We serve anyone, Sentinel or Scourge"
Furion : Yes, I did mention that but how will this benefit me?
Balanar : Hey! That's my favourite line!
Furion : Just tell me why you should be hired to me my henchmen!
Balanar : Well, I get to work faster at night and I'm an excellent security guard incase any trouble arises. Most importantly, I can turn day into night anytime I like!
Furion : Most impressive! You are hired! Come and meet me at the hotel lobby tomorrow.
Balanar : You got it boss! ( Ran into the bushes and disappear...)
Furion : Now I have two people to work for me, I wonder who's next?
Unknown : what about me?

Furion turned behind to see who was the unknown person that talked to him and it was none other than Pudge the Butcher...

Furion : Aw hell, anyone but you!!!
Pudge : With me as the chef, there will be plenty of people visiting your hotel!
Furion : You may be called a butcher but your cooking is worst than the foul stench coming out of your body right now. Remember the annual cooking competition you joined last year?

Flashback to the Dota annual cooking competition...

There were 5 participants in this competition and they were Lina, Tinker, Luna, Rexxar and Pudge. Most of them could cook wonderful meals that would make the judges give them a thumbs up ( Well, except for Pudge...) The judges were Traxex, Furion and Magina and they were horrified by the disturbing smell produced by Pudge's meal...

Pudge : And this is my famous PFC (Pudge Fried Chicken...)
Furion : That is not a chicken! That looked more like a ghoul instead!!
Pudge : Uh... I ran out of chicken supply so I used a ghoul instead. Anyway they still taste the same...
Traxex : There is no way I'm tasting that horrible looking meal!
Magina : I'm out of here man!
Pudge : Oh yeah? None of you would be leaving until you have tasted my specially prepared PFC, with extra undead taste!

As the three judges tried to run away, Pudge used his Meat Hook skill and managed to pull Furion back to him. After forcing him to take a bite of the meal, Furion was in hospitalized for 3 months for severe food poisoning...

Back to the present...

Pudge : Aw, come on! That was the past. Now I'm using Necromancers instead of ghouls...
Furion : I think I'm going to be sick (tried to run away from Pudge)
Pudge : Oh no you don't (Meat hooked Furion back to him again...) There is no way I'm letting you go unless you give me the job!
Furion : Please! I'm begging you to leave me and my hotel alone...
Pudge : Just give me the job and everyone will be happy!
Furion : *Sighed...* Alright, come and meet me at the hotel lobby tomorrow at 8.00 am...
Pudge : Yay!! Thanks for inviting me into the crew! (Skipped away happily...)
Furion : I'm so going to regret for making this decision...

While Furion was still thinking of a way to get rid of Pudge, another hero came out of nowhere and blinked in front of Furion...

Furion : What do you want Akasha?
Akasha : Rumor has been saying that you require lackeys for your upcoming hotel. And so, here I am, applying for a job...
Furion : And what makes you think that you're qualified to work in my hotel?
Akasha : I could always be the hotel's waitress and I have an amazing voice for karaoke....
Furion : Hang on a second! Did you just said that you're a good singer?! As far as I remembered, your voice was worse than William Hung for your information!
Akasha : Who's William Hung?
Furion : Never mind about him... Anyway, remember what happened during the karaoke competition a few months ago?
Akasha : Of course I remembered!

Flashback to the Dota Annual karoake contest. As usual there were 5 participants and they were Rylai, Purist, Mirana, Slithice and Akasha. Rylai and Purist could sing marvelously as a duet while Mirana was not as good as everyone has expected. Even Slithice the naga siren made a wonderful performance though no one could finished listening before falling asleep. And there was Akasha. Once she took the mike, she 'accidentally' unleashed her Scream Of Pain, blasting her voice through the amplifier and did 10 times the normal damage. The next thing she knew was the announcer was busy confirming the death of more than 50 Dota characters, making her way to set the Dota world record with 56 killings with one skill...

Back to the present...

Akasha : How many times do I have to tell you that it was an accident?! Look at the bright side, with me as your crew, I could help you lure in some shameless customers...
Furion : You do know that I'm opening a hotel for legal business and not a whorehouse, don't you?
Akasha : It's the same thing.... Anyway, am I hired or not?
Furion : (Thinks very carefully for a while...) okay, you are hired. Meet me at the lobby at 8.00 am tomorrow...
Akasha : Thanks boss! (Blinked away happily...)
Furion : Now with 4 douche bags working for me and my wife (Mirana) being my assistant, I think I'm ready to officially run the hotel!

And so Furion whistled to himself while walking back to the Sentinel encampment to tell everyone about the grand opening of his hotel...

With those 4 heroes helping Furion, will the hotel be able to gain profit or destroyed within a day? Don't forget to check my next chapter!
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Last edited by shippoukitsune; 04-28-2010 at 02:04 AM.
Old 04-27-2010, 04:46 PM   #9
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 2 is up!)

Hahahaha!!! Despite having already read this at DP, the comedy never seems to escape me every time I read this story! Cheers to you for a wonderful manuscript! And btw, here's what I think is the best line in the chapter:

Quote:
Originally Posted by shippoukitsune View Post
Furion : So the hotel is ready. Who should I hire to help me?
Rikimaru : (Blink Striked next to Furion out of nowhere...) What about me? I could use a job!
Furion : Jesus! Uh... I mean... Elune!! You nearly gave me a heart attack!
Hahahaha! Can't wait to read chapter 3!
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Old 04-28-2010, 01:50 AM   #10
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 2 is up!)

lol this has got to be the best fan fiction i've ever seen here! and the comedy's not trying to be funny coz it's really funny xD




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Old 04-28-2010, 11:01 AM   #11
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 2 is up!)

Thanks for the support people and here is chapter 3. I think I will be releasing every chapter each 6 hours to speed up the process until chapter 13 (I thin that's where I stopped the last time...) as I do not want to let my previous readers wait anymore. Just drop me as much review as possible and I'm a happy man, have fun reading

Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Shippoukitsune (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Bluedrake)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Chapter 3 : Looking for customers/troubles?


As expected, most of the Dota heroes gathered in front of Furion's hotel to witness the grand opening. Once the opening ceremony was done, everyone began to flee when Furion approached them...

Furion : Yurnero! How would you like to stay in my 5 star rated hotel? It's only 300 gold pieces per night!
Yurnero : 5 star rated hotel for 300 gold pieces? You must be out of your mind!
Furion : Aw, come on! The hotel will be worth every gold pieces you spent.
Yurnero : Does your hotel have a jacuzzi? Dancing girls? World class chef? Or a training room so I can sharpen my fighting skills?
Furion : Well, the hotel has no jacuzzi, no toilet in any rooms but you can use the public toilet at the lobby, I also have Akasha as our hotel's dancing girl and Pudge as the chef...
Yurnero : Hah, you're just a fraud! With 300 gold pieces I would better buy myself a stout shield! ( walked away...)
Furion : Damn it!

With Yurnero walking away, Furion tried to look for another customer...

Furion : Hey pig! Uh... I mean Meepo... How would you like to stay in a 5 star rated hotel?
Meepo 1 : oink oink (Meepo can't actually talk in the game...)
FUrion : So you are saying that the four of you would stay in my hotel for the the price of 1 instead of 4?
Meepo 2 : Oink Oink!
FUrion : No way! Pigs like you should stay in the pigsty!

Angrily, the 4 Meepos beat the 7 shade of shit out of Furion before wandering off. With a black eye and multiple broken bones, Furion decided to ask his security guard Balanar to attract some customers...

Furion : Go and get me some customers since you are so free!
Balanar : How will this benefit me?
Furion : DO IT OR YOU'RE FIRED!!!
Balanar : Sure thing boss! And by the way, nice outfit (Ran off quickly)
Furion : Bootlickers....

And so, Balanar began to search for his victim--- I mean customers. While he was scouting behind the hotel, he saw Tiny and Knight Davion looking intently at one of the windows of an empty room in the hotel. Quietly, balanar sneaked behind the two to eavesdrop their conversation....

Knight Davion : Hey Tiny, this is like the 5th time you tried tossing me into one of the empty hotel room but you kept on missing!! What's wrong with your aiming?!?!
Tiny : Gaba gaba gaba.... ( Tiny can't actually talk in the game...)
Knight Davion : Whatever... By the numerous amount of cracks behind hotel wall, do you think Furion will notice anything?
Tiny : Gaba gaba gaba....
Knight Davion : You are right, as long as we keep quiet and no one sees us, we will be of the hook...
Balanar : ( Came out of his hiding spot...) How dare the two of you tries to break into the hotel!!
Knight Davion : Busted! Let's get out of here!

As Knight Davion and Tiny ran off with different directions, Balanar decided to chase after the mastermind instead and managed to catch Knight Davion within 10 minutes. After mugging 3000 gold pieces from Knight Davion, Balanar returned to the hotel, satisfied...

Balanar : Boss, some anonymous person has decided to donate us 2000 gold pieces! (he pocketed the other 1000 himself...)
Furion : 2000 gold pieces??? Who on Earth will be that generous to donate that much money? Even I won't be that stupid to do that...
Balanar : I don't know... There are just too many weird people in this world...
Furion : Are you telling the truth? You know that I don't do corruption, it's in my rulebook.
Balanar : There is a rulebook? Uh... Of course I know about the rulebook and of course I'm telling the truth, honest!

After much lies and deceived, furion was convinced and the two had decided to take a walk at the hotel porch. Outside the porch, Knight Davion could be seen sitting on the floor, wearing only his boxers while holding a signboard written "I have been mugged 3000 gold pieces by the hotel security guard..." As Furion gave Balanar a death glare look, Balanar had already broke the signboard and knight Davion's leg, still trying to pretend innocent...

Furion : Balanar, explain yourself right now!
Balanar : Explain what? I'm innocent!
Knight Davion : MY FOOT!! MY BLOODY FOO---- MPPH!!! (Balanar covered his mouth...)
Balanar : (whispered to Knight Davion...) One more word from you and there goes your other leg...
Furion : Davion, Balanar threatening you?
Knight Davion : Uh.... (Balanar gave him a death glare look...) Uh.... (Furion glared at him...)
Furion : WELL!?!? Is it a yes or a no?!?!
Knight Davion : I can't take it anymore!!! I'm not Knight Davion!! I'm just a farmer like my father back in Lordaeron, so I'm out of here!! (Ran away...)
Announcer : Knight Davion has left the game...
Furion : What was that all about?
Balanar : Beats me... I think we should just head back to the hotel...

Once the duo arrived back at the hotel, an irritated looking Leragas was standing at the counter waiting for the manager....

Leragas : This is what you did with my land? MY LAND? By building a lame hotel!?!?
Furion : It's not lame! This is the first hotel ever built in Kalimdor dude!
Leragas : Unless you can prove to me that this hotel is not lame, otherwise I will shut this hotel down as the landlord!
Furion : You can't do that! We are still new at this!
Leragas : Do I look like I would give a damn!? Now find someone to handle my luggage as I stayed here for a couple of days for FREE...
Furion : (Sigh...) Fine.... Riki!! Where the hell are you!?!?
Rikimaru : (Came out from the toilet...) Now what? Can't a satyr have a toilet break in peace?
Furion : You can rot in the toilet for all I care but right now I need you to carry Mr. Leragas' luggage to the penthouse!
Rikimaru : You want me to carry his luggage? This is a job for imbecile bellboys!
Furion : Reality check Riki, you are the imbecile bellboy around here!
Rikimaru : Uh... Right... This way Mr. Leragas (Took the luggage...) Now follow me as I take you to hell--- I mean your penthouse...

And so, Rikimaru took the bag and lead Leragas into the lift. As the lift began to head toward the 25th floor penthouse, blue smokes began to erupt in the lift...

Leragas : Dude, what's that weird blue smoke coming out from your ass? (10th floor)
Rikimaru : Remember the part when I told Furion that I was in the toilet? Well, I was going to release my gas... (12th floor)
Leragas : This is how you make the smokescreen when you are fighting! But this is not a good place or time to release your gas, I'm choking! (14th floor)
Rikimaru : There is nothing I can do, just hang on and stop squirming around the lift! (16th floor)
Leragas : In... need... of... frresshh... airrrr.... (18th floor)
Rikimaru : Don't be such a wussy! My friends had survived this encounter all the time but of course the the environment is never this small... (20th floor)
Leragas : (Died...)
Announcer : Rikimaru has pawned Leragas the Vile (level 1) for 0 gold!

By the time Rikimaru reached 25th floor, Furion had already teleported himself to the same floor as Riki...

FUrion : What did you do!?!? I ordered you to escort Leragas here, not assassinate him!
Rikimaru : It's not my fault! I farted while he was with me in the lift and he suffocated himself to death during the process...
Furion : Didn't you read my rulebook?! Rule 3653 #: Thou shall not fart in the lift when there's a customer in it!
Rikimaru : There's a rulebook? I mean... I know a bout the rulebook but you are the one that forced me to come out of the toilet...
Furion : We are in so much trouble when Leragas is revived....

Will Furion and his hotel survive Leragas' onslaught when he returns? Don't miss my next chapter then!!
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Last edited by shippoukitsune; 04-28-2010 at 11:11 AM.
Old 04-28-2010, 11:14 AM   #12
Kriegskanzler
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 3 is up!)

*tears in eyes* I just can't stop...

Damn it. I can't stop...
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Old 04-28-2010, 11:25 AM   #13
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 3 is up!)

as funny as hell./
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Old 04-28-2010, 11:45 AM   #14
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 3 is up!)

So much memories...update all of the stuff here asap! And write the continuation of it!
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Old 04-28-2010, 04:07 PM   #15
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 4 is up!)

Another chapter coming right up!!!

Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Shippoukitsune (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Bluedrake)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Chapter 4: Endless problems


Within 2 hours, a very angry looking (revived) Leragas went back to the hotel with an oxygen mask bound to his face...

Leragas : FURION!! I DEMAND YOU FOR AN EXPLANATION AND IT BETTER BE A GOOD ONE!
Furion : (Play dumb) Uh.... Explain about what?
Leragas : Explain the fact that you sent Rikimaru to assassinate me in the lift with his tremendous fart?!
Furion : Aw, come on. Riki didn't really mean it, he's just messing with you. Why don't I make it up to you by giving you our premium lunch buffet VIP pass?
Leragas : (Mouth watering...) I guess I will take that pass! I mean... the offer since you are trying so hard...
Furion : Right.... anyway, should I ask Riki to escort you to your room again...
Leragas : NO!!! NOT HIM!!! ANYONE BUT HIM!!! (Going nuts...)
Furion : ok man, chill.... What about Akasha, our waitress then?
Leragas : Sure, anyone but RIKI!

And so, Furion summoned Akasha to escort Leragas to his room in the 25th floor. While the two were in the lift, Akaska began to sound very flirtatious and seductive...

Aksaha : So, Mr. Leragas, I've heard rumors from people saying that you are darn rich and handsome...
Leragas : (shift uncomfortably...) Uh yeah....
Akasha : What could a harmless succubus like me stand a chance against you, in an empty lift... Just you and me... ( moved closer to him...)
Leragas : (Gulp...) Uh, right... Hey, I think the lift has reached to my floor, bye!! (Jumped out of the lift from the 20th floor and took the stairs instead...)
Akasha : Hah, I just love to mess around with weak-minded fools...

When Akasha returned to the lobby, Furion was glaring at her with an irritating look...

Akasha : Why are you staring at my breast?
Mirana : (Gave Furion a death glare...)
Furion : I was looking at your face!!! And what do you think you are doing in the lift with Leragas just now?
Akasha : Huh? What did I do?
Furion : Sinced after Rikimaru's farting case in the lift, I have installed CCTV to monitor everyone's action. Did you know that flirting with customers is against my Rule 1563# in my rulebook?
Akasha : There is a rulebook? I mean... Of course I know about the rule but this is my nature, to flirt with rich customer...
Furion : For the last time, I've told you that this is not a whorehouse! Bah, just get back to the restaurant and do what you are supposed to do!
Akasha : Whatever, party pooper.... (Blinked into the restaurant...)
Furion : These people are driving me crazy! Mirana my love, do you mind watching the counter while I try to convince Pudge to cook something edible?
Mirana : Of course I don't mind. Remember what you told me? At the end of the day, I will get 90% of the profits from this hotel you make.
Furion : (sweatdropped...) Uh.. yeah...

Leaving Mirana to the counter, Furion headed into the restaurant's kitchen. To his horror, Pudge had decorated the kitchen to look (and smell) just like the slaughterhouse with dead bodies of various animals hanging on top of the ceiling with hooks all over them...

Furion : PUDGE!!!!!
Pudge : what is it? Can't you see that I'm redecorating the kitchen to make it look artistic and lovely?
Furion : You call this artistic? This place looks more like the slaughterhouse in the movie 'Texas Chainsaw'!
Pudge : Don't you think that the movie is cool? I have watched that movie for more than 10 times!
Furion : Well, I prefer to watch non-violent movies such as Harry Potte--- Wait a second! Why am I even talking about these? I am here to command you to remove these hideous decorations and i want you to cook like a gourmet chef!
Pudge : I don't do miracles and you are in no position to order me!
Furion : Well then, what about this? I AM THE BOSS AND YOU ARE JUST AN EMPLOYEE!!!
Pudge : Crap... But I really like this environment. It helps me to concentrate better while I'm cooking...
Furion : It's a good thing I want you to remove these decorations then. You have 15 minutes to tear down this horrible design and I want you to follow my design instead... (Handed Pudge pictures of a 5-star-restaurant...)
Pudge : You want me to turn my masterpiece kitchen into something stupid like that?
Furion : Do it or you are fired...
Pudge : damn it.... (Proceeded to change the decorations...)

As Pudge started tearing down the slaughterhouse kitchen effect, Furion went to the dining room to inspect the condition in there. To his horror, (again) the dining room was just as bad as the kitchen except there was no dead bodies hanging down from the ceiling...

Furion : AKASHA!!!
Akasha : (Came out from one of the dining table...) What is it? Can't you see that I'm busy?
Furion : What the hell are you doing under the table? Wait... I don't think that I want to know...
Akasha : What is it that you want? I have urgent things to do under the table!
Magina : (Voice came out from under the table...) Akasha, where are you? I need you to fix the broken washing machine!
Akasha : Keep quiet damn it! My boss is talking to me!
Furion : Magina, is that you?! What are you doing under the table with her!? And I don't remember having a washing under the table...
Magina : (Crawled out of the table while fastening his belt...) Gee dad, for an old fart and our sentinel leader, you sure are slow in understanding the meaning of fun...
Furion : Watch your tongue boy! I was the one that 'had fun' with Mirana and got you and your rotten brother Terrorblade out to this world!
Magina : Uh... I guess you are right...
Furion : Anyway, get out of here before I decide to charge you for staying in my hotel!
Magina : I'm out of here man! Bye Akasha ! (Blinked out of the hotel...)
Akasha : Bye....
Furion : Ahem! Is there any reason why the dining room is in a terrible condition?
Akasha : uh... Since there will never be any customer with Pudge becoming the chef, I might as well not waste my time and energy doing meaningless stuff...
Furion : I guess I shouldn't be paying you for your job since you are just a waste of time?
Akasha : Haha... I was just joking... I will clean up the dining room right away!
Furion : You have exactly 15 minutes to do it or you are fired!

Furion then returned to the counter and saw his wife talking to their 1st official guest. Dollar signs began flashing from Furion's eyes as he teleported (literally) next to his wife...

Furion : Welcome to my hotel! How can we help you?
Darkterror : Dude, your wife just said that to me a second ago...
furion : Ok then, let's get this straight. How would you like to stay in our 5 star rated hotel for just 300 gold pieces per night?
Darkterror : Sounds reasonable. I will take a room.
Mirana : Thank you and hope that you will have an enjoyable stay here.
Darkterror : (Whisper to himself...) You bet I will, hahah...
Furion : Pardon me, but did you say something?
Darkterror : Nonono! I said nothing! Now, where's the key to my room?

Without hesitating, Furion gave Darkterror the keys, thinking about the profits that he was going to get. Unfortunately for them, Darkterror was a conman that likes to eat and stay for free. With his Chronosphere skill, he could just walk off and escape any bills...

Furion : Do you need my bellboy to carry your luggage?
Darkterror : It's alright! I could do it on my own. (Walked into the lift...)

As the lift closed and started ascending, Darkterror was so happy with his acomplishment that he began whispering to himself about his godlike plan to eat and sleep in the hotel for free. Although the CCTV couldn't catch his words, Rikimaru could hear Darkterror's plan loud and clear due to the fact that he was in the lift as well thanks to his permanent invisibility skill...

Darkterror : I'm going to have hell of a time in this hotel, hahaha! (Exited the lift...)
Rikimaru : Oh crap! I need to tell Furion about Darkterror's scam!

On the other hand, Leragas was on the lobby and demanded Furion to lead him to the restaurant. To Furion's relief, the dining room was cleaned by Akasha just in time although it wasn't nearly as good as a real 5 star rated hotel...

Leragas : Hmph! It's not as nice as I expected...
Furion : But the meal is going to be excellent! I hope...
Leragas : Hey, I thought today your restaurant is serving buffet lunch?
Furion : uh... Yeah... Akasha, why there is no buffet for lunch today?
Akasha : Uh... Because... We ran out of... Foodtray! Yeah! We ran out of foodtray!
Furion : And that's why we are serving you via ala-carte...
Leragas : (Eying them suspiciously...) Ok... where are the menus then?
Furion : Here's the menu! (Handed Leragas a piece of cardboard with the menu inside....)
Leragas : Cardboard?! This totally not professional! I was expecting a for book or something...
Furion : Well, we are running low on cash... Anyway, what would you like?
Leragas : Hm... I would like to have the Pudge and Chip???
Furion : Uh... Yeah... That's our chef's specialty...
Leragas : very well... I have one of that I could you get me a Flask of Sapphire water? I'm thirsty...
Furion : But the flask is very expensive...
LEragas : Ahem! I'm the VIP guest, remember?
Furion : Alright.... Lunch will be served in 20 minutes time...

As Furion continued taking down the orders, Akasha went to the kitchen to fetch Flask of sapphire Water...

Akasha : Hey, Pudge! Where did you keep the sapphire water?
Pudge : Furion told me that everyone need to fill in the form in order to get the water...
Akasha : Huh? What forms?!
Pudge : Ok, listen carefully for I will only repeat this once. First, you need to fill in form A,B,K and I. Then you need to photocopy 2 of your passport size photo and then it will take 3 hours to process the request...
Akasha : Uh... Could you repeat that again?? And why the hell do I need to do all that just to get that stupid Flask of Sapphire Water?
Pudge : That's Furion's order. He said we need to do this in order to cut down the corruption in our work...
Akasha : But Leragas will shut us down if we don't get him the water now!
Pudge : Rules are rules. If you are not happy with me, you could file a complain to my boss but first, you need to fill in form A,B,K an----
Akasha : Bah, forget about it! I will get Furion to fetch the flask...

Feeling angry, Akasha blinked back into the dining room and told Furion to get the water himself while she will 'entertain' the VIP...

Akasha : So, Mr. Leragas, I've heard rumors from people saying that you are very muscular...
Leragas : Not again...

Meanwhile, Furion went to the kitchen to give Pudge the orders...

Furion : Hey Pudge! I need you to cook your famous Pudge and Chip.
Pudge : Sure thing boss! That has been my best secret recipe so far...
Furion : I sure hope that you know what you are doing. By the way, why do you call it Pudge and Chip?
Pudge : It's because I would chop off my extra limb on my shoulder and cooked it together with a treant so that it will have that crunchy and crisy effect on the same time!
Furion : You've got to be kidding me! You can't serve that to our VIP guest!
Pudge : Look man, if you don't like my cooking, you could file in a complain to my boss, which is you, but you still need to fill in form A,B,K an----
Furion : Enough of this foolishness! I'm your boss and you will listen to me!
Pudge : perhaps you think that you can cook better than me?
Furion : Of course I can cook better than you! How about this? Let's have a cooking competition, the better chef will be able to command the weaker chef!
Pudge : Alright then, I accept your challenge!

And so, our heroes had forgotten about Leragas' orders and began their own cooking competition. Meanwhile, in the dining room, an hour later...

Leragas : What the hell is taking them so long? And where is my sapphire water!? I'm so bloody thirsty!
Akasha : You can drink my saliva if you want... (Purred next to him...)
Leragas : Uh... Did I say that I'm hungry? I meant that I was hungry...
Akasha : You are a shy one aren't you?

On the other hand, our bellboy Rikimaru was at the lobby, (after slacking off in the toilet for 1 hour...) looking for Furion...

Rikimaru : Mirana, where's Furion? I need to speak to him, it's urgent!
Mirana : You need him to raise your salary?
Rikimaru : Yeah, I think 20 gold pieces per year is not really enough... Wait... That's not the reason! I need to report a scam to Furion now!
Mirana : Report a scam about him or to him?
Rikimaru : It's about Darkterror goddamnit! Where is Furion right now!?
Mirana : He's in the dining room with the VIP you killed earlier. Be sure to remain in your invisibility mode when you are there because you freaked Leragas out...
Rikimaru : I will remember about that...

And so, Rikimaru stealthily entered into the dining room where he could only see Akasha chasing Leragas around the room...

Will Rikimaru be able to foil Darkterror's scam? Will Furion be a better chef compared to Pudge? Don't forget to check out my next chapter for more insane stories!!

A cliffhanger!! Don't worry though, I will post it after 6 hours from now again (I know I am evil haha...) but don't forget to stay tuned for the next chapter. Note: back in 2008 the item was called "Flask of Sapphire Water" has been replaced with Healing Salve, I decide not the change the name and stick with the old one because drinking Healing Salve sounds weird compared to Flask Of Sapphire Water )

__________________________________________________ ______________


Whoopdeedo, another new chapter is up but no reviews... This makes me sad T.T


Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Shippoukitsune (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Bluedrake)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Chapter 5: The real deal


While Rikimaru was snooping around in the dining room with his invisibility skill, Furion and Pudge were still busy cooking their way to victory...

Pudge : Give up old man! I've been the butcher for the Scourge for more than 60 years!
Furion : You should be the one to give up! I have just started being a chef for not more than 60 minutes and I've already surpass your so called incredible cooking skills!
Pudge : We shall see about that!

Back in the dining room...

Akasha : (Chasing Leragas...) Will you stop running away from me!?
Leragas : (Running...) If you would stop flirting with me!!!
Akasha : Come on, just give me a kiss!
Leragas : Leave me alone! MY WIFE will kill me if she knew about this!
Akasha : WHAT!? You should have told me earlier! I do not engage adult activities with a married man (Blinked away angrily...)
Leragas : should have told her I was married all these while. Wait till I get my hands on Furion for making me to wait so long...

Just as Leragas got back on his seat, Furion and Pudge kicked open the kitchen door and proceeded towards him...

Leragas : What the hell took you two so long to prepare my lun---
Furion : PUT A SOCK IN IT! We need you to be the judge for our cooking competition!
Leragas : (Thinking immaturely...) Competition = Free food?? Oh yeah....
Pudge : With that sick smile with saliva coming out of your mouth, I won't know if you are saying yes or no!
Leragas : Uh... I mean, sure thing!
Furion : Well then, my dish for today will be the tree chop!
Leragas : What the hell is a tree chop? Shouldn't that be a chicken chop?!
Furion : Druids are not suppose to kill animals for the sake of a cooking competition, so my dish is totally made out of vegetables...
Leragas : Let's see... (Took a bite...) YUCK!!! Why is there fertilizer in it!?!?
Furion : Opps... How did the cow fertilizers got in there??
Leragas : WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?
Furion : Uh... I said I have cow tranquilizers in there...
Leragas : This dish is a total piece of crap! 1/10!!
Pudge : Hahaha! Your meal stinks! Now observe as I serve my wonderful Pudge and Chip to Leragas!
Leragas : (Stare at the dish...) What the hell is that...... Thing!?!?
Pudge : It might look disgusting but once you gave a try, you will love it!
Leragas : Well, looks could be deceiving... (take a bite...)
Pudge : Do you like it?
Leragas : .......
Pudge : Hello! Earth to Leragas! Are you still with us?
Leragas : ARGHHHHH!!! (Died....)
Announcer : Pudge has pawned Leragas' stomach for 0 gold!
Furion : Didn't I tell you before!? Your meal stinks and you have just killed our VIP!
Pudge : That's a total bullshit! He liked my Pudge and Chip so much that he must have accidentally choked himself to death in the process...
Furion : Get this into that thick skull of yours! Your meal sucks!!
Pudge : Oh yeah? Maybe you should give my meal a try before giving any comments! (Grabbed Furion by the neck and stuffed his famous PAC into Furion's mouth...)
Furion : .......
Pudge : Come on! Say something!!
Furion : ARGHHHHH!!! (Died....)
Announcer : pudge has pawned Furion's stomach for 0 gold and got himself a Double Kill!
Pudge : AW come on!! My food is not that bad!! (Taste his own PAC...)
Pudge : .......
Rikimaru : (Came out of his invisibility mode...) Well?
Pudge : ARGHHHHH!!! (Died....)
Announcer : Pudge has killed himself!

Looking at the mess in the empty room now, Rikimaru decided to look for Akasha to clean up the dining room...

Rikimaru : Uh... Who's going to clean up the mess here?? Akasha!!
Akasha : (Blinked into the dining room...) What is it, shrimp?
Rikimaru : Hey, watch it! I have feelings too... Your insults have hurt me an--
Akasha : Right.... And your reason for calling me here is??
Rikimaru : Oh right, I was going to ask you to clean up the mess that our boss and Pudge had made...
Akasha : YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?! That's a waiter job!
Rikimaru : Reality check, you're the waitress and I don't pay you to slack!
Akasha : You are not the boss of me and you don't pay me anything at all!
Rikimaru : Well, I just want to know how does it feel like to be a boss...
Akasha : Now that you have felt it, get the hell out of here before I decide to kill you!
Rikimaru : I'm out of here! But I'm taking Pudge's evil dish with me, might come in handy...

(New item: Pudge and Chip. A bowl of poisonous dish that is powerful enough to kill Roshan instantly. Once casted onto an enemy, 6000 damage will be dealt with additional 200 damage per second. Last for 5 days...)

While waiting for his boss to revive at the altar, Rikimaru was thinking up of an idea to stop Darkterror the conman from taking advantages of them. Back at the lobby...

Mirana : Hey Riki, where's my husband?
Rikimaru : He died, together with Pudge and Leragas...
Mirana : HE DIED!?!? Oh well, it's not like he's gone forever. How long will it take for him to revive?
Rikimaru : Around 30 minutes from now, I presumed... Miss him already?
Mirana : No... But on the contrary, I wish he wold stay in the grave longer. My shift is over and he's going to pay me 100 gold pieces for every extra 1 minute...
Rikimaru : You get extra 100 gold pieces for every extra 1 minute??? Then how come I need to work overtime for free?
Mirana : That's the advantage I could get from my husband...
Rikimaru : Maybe I should consider marrying Furion too... Wait!! What was i thinking?? I'm a guy!! Not a gay!! I... I think need to go to the toilet...
Mirana : Whatever...

After hanging out in the toilet for 20 minutes, Rikimaru decided to loiter around the lobby. Just as he was about to take a ride in the lift, Darkterror came out of his room and went into the dining room. Thinking up of a great idea to assassinate Darkterror, he stalked the faceless void into the dining room with his invisibility skill. Once inside, he found Akasha and grab hold of her wrist and covered her mouth to keep her quiet...

Rikimaru : (Invisible) Be quiet! It's me, Riki...
Akasha : What are you doing?! And why are you using your permanent invisibility skill?
Rikimaru : (Invisible) It's a long story, but I need you to take Darkterror's food orders and make sure you convince him to choose the PAC...
Akasha : Why should I do that and why should I help you?
Rikimaru : (Invisible) Just do it and I will do anything ok?
Akasha : (Grinned...) Anything???
Rikimaru : (Invisible) Uh... Yeah, I guess...
Akasha : Let's see... I want your tail!
Rikimaru : (Invisible) You want my WHAT?
Akasha : You heard me, I want to pull your tail... I've heard rumors saying that a satyr will squeak if you pull their tail...
Rikimaru : (Invisible) And I have to be your test experiment?
Akasha : It's either you say yes or I will not do it. Deal or no deal?
Rikimaru : (Invisble) Can't you pull someone's else tail instead? Like Mirana's tiger or Balanar himself?
Akasha : Nope... You have 3 seconds to decide...
Rikimaru : (Invisible) Alright... It's a deal, but you can only pull my tail only ONCE and not in front of the public. I have a reputation you know?
Akasha : Whatever... And could you let go of me now? You are hurting my wrist...
Rikimaru : (Invisible + blush) Um... Ok...
Akasha : Oh my, it's so cute that you are blushing!
Rikimaru : (Invisible) Just go already!!

As Rikimaru started to regret about his decision, Akasha went towards Darkterror seductively and started to persuade Darkterror to order the Pudge and Chip...

Akasha : Hey, handsome! What would you like to eat?
Darkterror : Let's see... I would like to have th---
Akasha : How about our chef's famous Pudge and Chip?
Darkterror : I don't want that, I would like to order th---
Akasha : But the PAC is our chef's specialty. It's finger licking good...
Darkterror : I said no! I don't like the sound of it...
Akasha : Look man, don't make my job complicated! Say yes or else I will do the scream of pain!
Darkterror : Hey... I'm the customer! you can't do that to me!
Akasha : Alright, how about this? If you order the PAC, I will have some fun with you in your room tonight...
Darkterror : Well, say no more! I will have the PAC!
Akasha : Right away!

And so, Akasha went into the kitchen to see Rikimaru preparing the Pudge and Chip that he collected in his inventory...

Akasha : So, you are planning a customer assassination...
Rikimaru : No I'm not! That Darkterror dude is trying to con us! I need to do something to get of him before he fooled Furion!
Akasha : You are sooo evil.... But I love it...
Rikimaru : I'm not evil for the last time!
Akasha : Whatever... So, should I serve him the meal now?
Rikimaru : We need to at least wait for another 10 minutes or more. This won't make him suspect that we had prepared the meal before he even ordered it...
Akasha : You are a criminal mastermind!
Rikimaru : GODDAMNIT!! I'm a hero of justice and I'm from the Sentinel! Therefore I'm a good guy!
Akasha : Who said that the heroes from the Sentinel are good?
Rikimaru : Let's just forget what I said just now and concentrate on our upcoming task... Hey, stop touching my tail now!
Akasha : Did you forget about the deal?
Rikimaru : Of course I remembered but this is not the time! You can do it when we are alone!
Akasha : But we are alone now...
Rikimaru : Yeah, and together with Mirana watching us from the CCTV right now!
Akasha : Alright, I will settle this later. Let's serve the PAC to Darkterror now.
Rikimaru : Yeah, now would be a good time. I will follow you...
Akasha : I didn't know you care so much about me!
Rikimaru : (blush...) I'm doing that just in-case anything bad happened to you, that's all! There is nothing wrong with that...
Akasha : Right...

With that being said, Akasha took the PAC with Rikimaru (invisible) following her from behind to meet Darkterror. Once the food was served, Darkterror took a fork and poke the PAC suspiciously...

Darkterror : So... This is your chef's famous Pudge and Chip???
Akasha : Yeah! Once you have tasted it, you won't regret it!
Darkterror : It doesn't look or smell that good...
Akasha : Come on! You can judge a dish by its look...
Darkterror : I guess so...

Just as Darkterror began to eat that disgusting crap, Furion teleported right into the dining room...

Furion : Darkterror! Don't eat the PAC meal! It's poisoned!
Darkterror : Aha! I knew something is fishy when your waitress forced me to order and eat the PAC!
Akasha : Oh dear...
Rikimaru : (Came out of invisibility mode...) Time for plan B! Boss, Darkterror is a conman that is going to stay and eat over here for free! We need to catch him now or else he will escape!
Furion : Don't be ridiculous! Darkterror might be from the Scourge but he won't con us! Right, Mr. Darkterror? Hey..... Where did he go?

While Rikimaru and Furion were discussing, Darkterror knew that his planned was being foiled and he casted his Timewalk spell to exit the dining room immediately...

Rikimaru : He's escaping! We need him to cough out the cash or something boss!
Furion : Say no more! (Took out his walkie-talkie...) This is the Prophet reporting! Do you copy!?
Balanar (radio) : Loud and clear! Any special request sir?
Furion (radio) : Yes! Initiate operation code red! I repeat! Initiate operation code red!
Balanar (radio) : Who will be the target sir?
Furion (radio) : That will be Darkterror the Faceless Void a.k.a. the conman!
Balanar (radio) : Roger that and over!
Rikimaru : So, what exactly is operation code red, boss?
Furion : You will see...

Will our heroes be able to capture Darkterror? What is the the meaning of operation code red anyway? Don't forget to check out my next chapter for more insane Dota stories!

Note: I will begin posting the fillers of the story once the main story is over, just to keep the suspense, haha
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Last edited by shippoukitsune; 04-29-2010 at 03:16 AM.
Old 04-29-2010, 04:18 AM   #16
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 5 is up!)

i thought the Flask was the original name of the Bottle. Now I remember!
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:26 AM   #17
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 5 is up!)

Moooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 04-29-2010, 09:33 AM   #18
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 5 is up!)

Here's the next update guys, enjoy

Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Shippoukitsune (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Bluedrake)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Chapter 6: The babes are here!

While Darkterror was running towards the lobby to exit the hotel, Furion had initiated code red against him. Pudge and Mirana were waiting for Balanar at the lobby...

DArkterror : Well what do you know? There is nobody at the lobby to even catch me! This place is totally pathetic... (1500hp)

Unbeknownst to Darkterror, Mirana had casted her ultimate Moonlight Shadow, makingher entire hotel staffs to be invisible temporarily. To Darkterror's shock, Pudge suddenly came out of nowhere and start biting his ass...

Pudge : Ahh... Fresh Meat! (Bit Darkterror's ass...)
Darkterror : What the hell!?!? (1250hp)
Mirana : We are not done with you yet! (Shot her Elune's Arrow at Darkterror)
Darkterror : My head is so dizzy... (900hp)
Pudge : Trying to run away from us huh? Meathhook!! (Pulled Darkterror back to him)
Mirana : Starfall!!! (Meteorites started to fall on Darkterror...)
Darkterror : ARGH!!! That does it! CHRONOSPHERE!!! (100hp)

With Darkterror casting Chronosphere, our two heroes were stuck in the time-stopped force field and the conman proceeded to escape through the front door. Unfortunately for Darkterror, Balanar was waiting for him and began to beat the seven shades of shit out of him...

Balanar : Do you surrender? And pay up for the lodging fee?
Darkterror : No and no! You could never make me pay by force!
Balanar : Don't say I didn't warn you... (Broke Darkterror's left foot...)
Darkterror : ARGH!!! Okay! I will pay!! Here's the money!! (Handed Balanar 300 gold pieces..)
Balanar : Not good enough! You still have to pay for the maintenance fee, room service, government tax, insurance fee and tips, with the grand total of 2500 gold pieces!!!
Darkterror : What the hell... I... I don't even have that much money!
Balanar : Don't test my patience! (Broke Darkterror's right foot...)
Darkterror : YEOWCHH!!! Okay, take it man! Take it!!! (Gave Balanar 2500 gold pieces...)
Balanar : That's better... We hope that you had an enjoyable stay over here and please visit us again!
Darkterror : !@#$%^&*() I WILL NEVER COME BACK TO THIS PLACE, YOU !@#$%^&* DID YOU HEAR ME?
Balanar : I'm sorry, did I hear a complain? (Broke Darkterror's left arm...)
Darkterror : OOOOUUUCCCHHH!!!!
Balanar : I guess not... Time to head back to the hotel...

Satisfied with his achievement, Balanar left Darkterror to crawl out of the hotel's porch and handed 500 gold pieces to Furion ( And yes, he pocketed the extras...) As Darkterror was crawling his way back to the Scourge base, he saw a very furious looking Leragas marched towards the hotel and accidentally stomped over Darkterror's right arm...

Darkterror : Mother !@#$%!! My right arm!! Wait... I don't have a right harm! You missed me, noob!!
Leragas : Oh yeah? ( Walked towards Darkterror, took out his very own Divine Rapier and chopped him into pieces...)
Announcer : Leragas has pawned Darkterror's head for 0 gold!
Leragas : This is what happens when idiot Dota heroes pissed me off! Furion!!! You are next!!!

With that being said, Leragas stormed into the hotel, and look for Furion at the hotel lobby...

Leragas : Look man! Your hotel stinks, your chef sucks, your waitress is disturbing and no one ever visits your hotel! What do have to say for yourself?
Furion : Uh... You sounded like Simon from American Idol?
Leragas : Damn you! That's not what I meant! I don't bloody care if I sounded like Simon or Ryan Seacrest, I'm here to shut your hotel down!
Furion : You can't do that!
Leragas : I can and I will!!

While the two numbskulls were still arguing, a group of Dota babes (5 to be exact) entered the hotel nad made their way to the receptionist. The five were none other than Luna, Lina, Traxex, Rylai Crestfall and Shandelzare Silkwood...

Furion : And you were saying that my hotel has no customers?
Leragas : DAMNIT!!! Very well, I will shut you down LATER but remember, I'm watching you... (Left the hotel...)
Furion : Hello girls, how can I help you?
Traxex : We have just finished scouting the areas for any undeads and since we were already done, we felt that we would come here to relax...
furion : Then you've come to the right place!
Luna : We would like to have two double-bedded room and a single-bedded room...
Rylai : And could you get bellboy to carry our belongings? We are quite tired...
Furion : (Drooling...) Sure thing sweetheart... (Mirana stomped onto his foot...) OWW!!! I mean... right away! Riki, I require your service!!
Rikimaru : What is it? Why do you have have to call for me when I'm in the toilet!?!? (Saw the group of babes...) Woah... Am I in heaven???
Furion : No, you are still in my hotel and I need you to carry their belongings!
Rikimaru : Sure thing boss! Ladies, if you don't mind, perhaps I should lead all of you into the lift?
Lina : That would be an excellent idea! Furion, are the keys ready?
Furion : yeah, here it is ladies... (Handed the key's to them...)

As Rikimaru took their belongings and led the beauties into the lift, Furion was cursing and sulking because he was not the one that was stuffed with the top 5 cutest Dota heroes in the lift. While Furion was viewing intently through the CCTV in the lift, Akasha and Balanar joined in to see what was making Furion acting like a dirty old man. Back in the lift...

Rikimaru : So ladies, how long are you going to stay here?
Traxex : I don't know, maybe a couple of days...
Lina : So, you are the only bellboy in this hotel?
Rikimaru : Uh, yeah...
Luna : Oh... I really like your fur!! It's so fuzzy and ticklish!
Rikimaru : Right... (Blushed...)
Rylai : Oh my... He's blushing! I really like it when he blushes!
Traxex : He's so cute!
Rikimaru : Hey, watch it! I'm a stealth assassin! I'm a vicious satyr for your information!
Lina : We made the little satyr angry but yet, he's still so adorable!
Akasha (lobby) : That no good two-timer... Wait till he comes back down here...
Rikimaru : Anyway... What's with Shandelzare? Why is she so quiet?
Luna : She don't talk much. Especially after her boyfriend, Magina dumped her for someone in the Scourge...
Akasha (lobby) : Oh crap....
Rylai : So, do you have a swimming pool in the hotel?
Rikimaru : Yeah, it's on top of the penthouse to provide extra privacy to our customer...
Traxex : Great! Do you mind going with us later? We need you to pout sun-tan oil onto our back. And I don't trust Balanar to do it for us...
Balanar (lobby) : Curses!!! Ir's not my fault that I'm a pervert!
Furion (lobby) : Yeah... If it's not your own bloody fault, whose fault is it then?
Akasha (lobby) : Will you two keep quiet? I'm trying to listen here!
Lina : I have to agree with Traxex about Balanar though. If my mood is better later, I might sunbath toplessly...
Luna : Yeah, me to. Hey, it's our floor. See you later Riki... (Exited the lift...)

Just as the lift closed, Rikimaru, Balanar and Furion's nose exploded with blood flowing out like there's no tomorrow while imagining the nude forms of the heroins. Akasha and Mirana on the other hand were clenching their fist in anger due to jealousy. Once Rikimaru exited the lift on the lobby, everyone surrounded him...

Rikimaru : Uh... What's up?
Furion : (Serious face and attitude...) Riki! As the manager of the hotel, I demand you to take me with you when you are going to the pool!
Balanar : I may not be able to go but I still need Furion to install a few CCTV over there so I could have another round of nosebleed whenever I need it!
Furion : Yeah! Why didn't I think of it?! Hey, great minds think alike! (Mirana stomped onto his foot...) OWW!!! For Elune's sake, stop that!!!
Mirana : I will stop that when you start to think unerotic thoughts! And Balanar, you have to stop influencing my husband with your sex-starved attitude!
Balanar : Hey, chill... It's just like what Furion said. Great minds think alike, especially when it comes to sex...
Mirana : That does it! You two, into the ballroom now! I have some brainwashing to do. Akasha, I will leave Rikimaru to you. Do what you must...
Akasha : Sure thing sister! They don't call me the Queen of Pain for nothing!
Rikimaru : Gulp...
Balanar : Peace brother... And be careful with her whip. Trust me, I've had it before...
Rikimaru : Double gulp...

Mirana pushed the two into the ballroom while Akasha pulled Rikimaru into the dining room by his horn... In the dining room...

Rikimaru : Hey, watch it! What's your problem?
Akasha : My problem is that.... Flirting with customer is wrong! It's in Furion's rulebook!
Rikimaru : And why does it matters to you?
Akasha : Because... Because you still owe me your tail!
Rikimaru : That still didn't answer my question...
Akasha : Just mark my words! If you decide to go kinky while you are with the girls, I will castrate you and turn you into an eunuch! (Blinked away angrily...)
Rikimaru : Gosh, what's wrong with her???
Pudge : That my friend is what you called a women's jealousy...

During the argument between the duo, Pudge was taking a break in a dining room while taking a smoke. Basically, he heard everything he need to hear...

Rikimaru : What do you know about women's jealousy? You are just a butcher!
Pudge : For your information, before I was an Undead, I used to be a love expert and I could see Akasha had developed some feelings for you...
Rikimaru : You? A love expert? With that face of yours, even a blind grandmother from the old folks home wouldn't come near you!
Pudge : Excuse me! I used to be a charming looking guy. When I died, the Scourge sewn my body parts with a few other corpse to turn me into this... abomination... (Begins to cry...)
Rikimaru : Right... What is your advise then, Mr. Love Guru?
Pudge : If I'm you, I'll not piss her off. Angry women are very dangerous... And by the way, do you think that you could sneak me up to the pool later when you are going up?
Rikimaru : Oh man, you are just as pervert as the rest of us!!
Pudge : Hey, just because that I'm ugly, that doesn't mean that I'm not a sex maniac...
Rikimaru : Whatever... I need to settle my problems with Akasha first...

In the ball room on the other hand, Mirana has taken out a few counseling books related to uneroticsm and sat in from of the duo...

Balanar : What's your problem with me now? Your husband's sex-craved with hot chicks had absolutely nothing to do with me!
Mirana : Ever since you became the staff of this hotel, Furion has been reading Playboy magazines and telling dirty jokes to me!
Furion : My love, let's not discuss about my personal life to strangers and it's not Balanar's fault that I've changed...
Mirana : So, you are saying that it's my fault now? Am I not attractive in your eyes?!
Furion : It's not that you are not attractive but everyone needs a change in their life sometimes...
Mirana : But you don't see me flirting with other people when I'm bored of you, don't you?
Furion : Well, no... Hang on! You are bored of me?
Mirana : Let's not jump into conclusions... My point right now is that if you continue to act like a pervert, I'll seduce and flirt with other men from the Scourge!!
Furion : That's a cruel punishment for yourself... Who can you look for? Pudge?
Mirana : I can always look for Balanar...
Balanar : I don't mind to have a one night stand with her...
Mirana : You see? For every 1 female you flirt with, I will flirt with 10 other men!
Furion : Balanar, you wouldn't go out on date with my wife would you?
Balanar : Don't mind if I do... But seriously, you have a beautiful wife at your side, what more do you want? But for Riki and my case, we are still single, so we are given the rights to find our perfect match and be a pervert...
Mirana : Balanar is right and since I'm not trusting you to use your common sense right now, I've hired a guy to teach you on how to be a responsible married man...
Furion : And who will that be?
Mirana : You will see...
Balanar : Uh... Since I'm still single, can I be excused from this class?
Mirana : Yes you may.
Balanar : YEAH!!! I'm out of here!!! (Exited the ballroom...)
Furion : What about me?
Mirana : You will sit here and wait for your lecturer to arrive while I return to the reception table and resume my job as the assistant manager!
Furion : Oh well... What's the worst that could happen?

And so, Mirana left Furion in the ballroom to wait for his lecturer while she began to tend the customer's needs...

Who will be Furion's lecturer? Will Rikimaru be able to fix the mess he made? Does anyone still give a damn about my story? Don't forget to check out my next chapter!
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Old 04-29-2010, 02:57 PM   #19
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 6 is up!)

A lecturer?? Hahahaha!!! Too bad for Furion then, huh? Hehe. The two chapters are simply surreal! I can't stop laughing!
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Old 04-29-2010, 04:17 PM   #20
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 6 is up!)

Another chapter updated! According to other reviews, this will be the least interesting chapter but it has to be inside to fit the storyline. Have fun reading

Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Shippoukitsune (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Bluedrake)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Chapter 7: The drool team


As Furion waited for his 'teacher' to arrive, Balanar sneaked up to the Penthouse to plant a few observer wards around the pool area while Rikimaru went to look for Akasha and found her talking to Mirana in the lobby. using his invisibility skill, he eavesdropped the conversation between the duo...

Akasha : So, have you taken care of your husband and Balanar?
Mirana : Well, I've sent my husband to a pervert management class though I can't do anything about Balanar since he's from the scourge and all. What about you?
Akasha : (Sigh...) I've reprimanded him that if he tries anything weird or funny while he's up there, he will be turned into a eunuch...
Mirana : Ok... So what's with the sighing?
Akasha : I don't know. I felt ignored whenever I'm near him...
Mirana : How do you want to feel when he's around you then?
Akasha : I just want some acknowledgment from him that he cared for me. Even a little will make me happy!
Mirana : So, why would you want any acknowledgment from him?
Akasha : Because... because I always have a weird feeling whenever he's with me. You know... Like when you have a crush on someone. This had never happened to me before with my other flings...
Mirana : And let me guess... you feel jealous when the Sentinel babes touched him non-stop just now?
Akasha : Well, sort of... I felt extremely jealous and hurt when someone else touches him. I want him to know that he belongs only to me!
Mirana : Then, you should be having this conversation with him, not me...
Akasha : You are right. And I think I should be back in the dining room by now. Bye...

Akasha blinked away from the lobby into the dining room while Rikimaru stood at his hiding place, looking dumbfounded...

Mirana : Riki, you could come out now you know?
Rikimaru : (Came out of invisibility mode...) How on Earth do you know I'm here?!
Mirana : Let's just say I've Sixth Sense... So, how do you feel and what are you going to do about her?
Rikimaru : A little uneasy and shaken up. So, base on your Sixth Sense, what should I do now?
Mirana : Act dumb and pretend to know nothing until she approached you with the subject. If she found out that you eavesdropped our conversation, she will turn you into a marshmallow...
Rikimaru : Huh? Why bother turning me into a marshmallow?
Mirana : I don't know! I just say whatever things that comes into my mind...
Rikimaru : Right... I will just resume my bellboy duty and pretend that this conversation had never happen before...

Rikimaru continued to slack in the toilet while Balanar returned to the lobby humming to himself happily. Knowing very well that Balanar had planted observer wards, Mirana went to the penthouse to destroy them herself. Not realising that his plan has been foiled, Balanar continued to act stupid and went to the dining room to have his tea break...

Balanar : Akasha, get me my cup of tea!!
Akasha : Sure thing... (Gave the order to Pudge) So, how many wards did you exactly plant around the pool?
Balanar : Huh!?!? I don't know what are you talking about...
Akasha : Come on! I knew you in the Scourge for years and you will never miss this golden opportunity!
Balanar : Alright... I've planted 6 of them in the best angle on could get! If the scenes is captured well, I could turn them into a massive DVD collection and sell all of them. Then I'll be rich an---
Akasha : I don't care if you will end up as a rich guy or and old man! I just need you to share the ward's vision with me...
Balanar : OMG!!! YOU'RE A BLOODY LESBIAN!!!
Akasha : NO!!! I just want to keep an eye on Riki...
Balanar : Someone has a crush on him huh? But how will this benefits me?
Akasha : If you deny my request, I will go right up to the penthouse and destroy the ward myself! (A meaningless threat since the wards were already broken...)
Balanar : YOU WOULDN'T!!!
Akasha : Want to bet on it? Do we have ourselves a deal?
Balanar : (Sigh...) Do I have a choice?
Akasha : No... But thanks for your cooperation.

After the agreement, Balanar took his cup of tea and went back to his shift. Meanwhile, the mysterious teacher had arrived and went into the ballroom to teach Furion on how to be a responsible married man...

Furion : AW MAN!!! Anyone but you!!!
Leragas : Do I look like I want to come here and teach you!?!? But for the money's sake, let us begin our lesson in pervert management.
Furion : For the last time, I'm not a pervert! I'm still the same old responsible Prophet!
Leragas : Care to explain why there is a dozen of playboy magazines on your table right now?
Furion : Uh... Someone must have left the on the table... And it's not mine!!
Leragas : Right... So Furion, when did you start to experience the pervertness symptoms?
Furion : I'm not having any pervertness disease and I'm a normal Night Elf!!!
Leragas : If you are so normal, you wouldn't end up here, would you?
Furion : It's all Mirana's fault! She thinks I didn't pay much attention to her!
Leragas : And that's why I'm here then. Let's start our lesson...

LESSON 1 : THINK UNEROTIC THOUGHTS

Furion : So, what am I suppose to learn from this lesson?
Leragas : On the table in front of you, there will be 3 special edition Playboy magazine made by me. If you would just have a look on the magazine, I'm sure you will begin to lose your pervertness aura...
Furion : I can lose this bad habit of mine by reading even more Playboy magazines?! This is stupid...
Leragas : Just open the first magazine and have a look before you start giving me retarded comments!
Furion : Whatever... (Open the magazine and found himself looking at nude figures of Leragas...) MY BLOODY EYES!!! OMFG!!!
Leragas : Is it working?
Furion : YOU ARE SICK AND WRONG!!! You're making me to lose all my dirty imagination and--- Hey wait, I'm losing all my dirty imaginations!
Leragas : Good to hear that. If you would open magazine #2 now--
Furion : I'm never going to read any magazines that has nude photos of you!!!
Leragas : Relax, the first magazines was just used to get you to think about unerotic stuff...
Furion : You got me to stop thinking about erotic thoughts alright!

LESSON 2 : Your wife is your only concern!

Furion : Ok then, let's see what is in book #2... (Opened the magazine to see a list of fake silicon breast for each Dota female character...) Um... Care to explain?
Leragas : Behold! Each fake silicon breast that you are seeing right now represents the hidden truth of each female Dota characters. For example, if you would turn to page 25 you can see how fake Lina's breast is!
Furion : But... Lina's breast is not like that. you should have seen her---
Leragas : FOCUS ON THE MAGAZINE! What you see is not always true. If you stare at Lina at the correct angle, there is a made in China trademark on her left breast!
Furion : Ok... I think I'm losing more unerotic thoughts in my mind after seeing even more disturbing pictures...
Leragas : Good, you are doing well! Now if you would turn to the last page, you will be seeing some mind blasting pictures!
Furion : (Turned to the last page to see Mirana with nude, sexy post...) Woah... I didn't remember seeing my wife that hot... WAIT! hOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THESE PICTURES!?!?!
Leragas : Uh... Calm down man... Remember your lesson, your wife is your only concern...
Furion : My wife IS my concern right now!!! Don't force me to ask the question again! (Grabbed Leragas by the neck...)
Leragas : (Choke...) It's from your wife herself! She gave me the photos because she wanted you to change, for the best!
Furion : Ok, next question, how many of these magazines are produced?
Leragas : (Choke...) This is the one and only... And you can have it! Please let go of my fragile neck now!
Furion : Of course I'm going to have the magazine! ( Took the magazine and released Leragas...)
Leragas : (Breathing hard...) You... Have... passed the test as a responsible man. I've nothing more to teach you anymore...
Furion : I have?
Leragas : By your furios attitude, it's already clearly shown that you cared a lot for your wife and therefore, my objective here is done...
Furion : Hey, you are right! And I've cured from my pervertness disease! So, what is in magazine #3 then?
Leragas : Magazine #3 is only used for extremely stubborn students. Since you have passed the class, you do not need to check it out. But if you are curios, you can have a look...

Feeling uneasy, furion decided to see what was in magazine #3 and since he had passed, he might be getting extra knowledge (or mental disturbance) for this...

Furion : (Opened the magazine to see scandal photos of himself with a letter in it...) HOW THE !@#$%^ DID YOU GET ALL THESE???
Leragas : Relax, I did not spy on you through any observer wards. The pictures were given by your wife as well and I think you should read the letter first...
Furion : (Read the letter) Malfurion, if you are reading this letter while you're still not cured, then this is a bad news for you. Leragas explained to me that those embarrassing masturbating photos of yours will be sent to your Facebook's homepage for everyone to see if your attitude remains the same. However, if you are reading this just for your amusement, then I was just joking and you can have back the pictures. Love and kisses, Mirana Nightshade...
Leragas : As what the letter has stated, you can have back magazine #2 and 3 for yourself but I'm taking back magazine #1...
Furion : Sure thing. I'm glad that I was cured from this unknown, deadly disease...
Leragas : You should be proud of yourself. As a graduate of my class, I hereby present you the certificate of high distinction for pervert management!
Furion : Oh yeah!

When the two exited the ballroom, Mirana looked at Leragas expectantly to hear the good news. With a approving nod and smile from Leragas' face, Mirana literally lept towards her husband and hugged him...

Leragas : Aw, how nice... I'm going back to my secret shop location and here's the bill for the class...
Furion : After what you did to help me, I don't even mind paying you 30,000 gold piece--- (looked at the bill....) 30,000 GODDAMN GOLD PIECES!?!?

By the time Furion was done looking at the bill, Leragas was running away for his life, feeling happy at the same time to regain all his loss for the past few days...

Furion : How the hell am I going to pay that bastard when I'm not making any profit from this hotel management business....
Mirana : Cheer up! At least you could use your common sense to think up of a good plan.
Furion : I guess you are right. But remember, never hand out personal photos to any strangers again!
Mirana : Of course...

While the two's relationship was going back on track, Lina went down to the lobby to look for rikimaru...

Lina : Furion, where's the cute satyr? We are looking for him to help us in the penthouse.
Furion : (Looked at her disgustingly...) Sure... Riki! Your services is needed!
Rikimaru : (From the toilet...) Damn it!!! Do you have to always call me during my break time!!
Furion : Whatever... (Looked back at Lina disgustingly...) You need to for a while for Riki ma'am...
Lina : That wouldn't be a problem but what's with that look on your face?
Furion : Its just that I don't like talking to woman that do plastic surgery on their breast. It's against the nature...
Lina : (Angry...) WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!
Furion : Hey, Silicon-ed breast woman has no rights to be angry!

Feeling extremely furious, Lina unleashed her Laguna Blade onto Furion, zapping his ass upside down (but not powerful enough to kill him...) and waited outside the toilet for Rikimaru instead...

Furion : Ouch, that hurts!
Mirana : Just because you are no longer a pervert, that doesn't mean you could despise or insult any woman you see!
Furion : I will try to remember about that...

Once Rikimaru came out from the toilet, he was instantly dragged by Lina into the lift with Balanar drooling, thinking about the babes at the pool with Akasha beside him, clenching her fist in jealousy...

Will Rikimaru be able to keep everyone satisfied and happy or will hell break lose? Dont forget to check out my next chapter!
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:13 PM   #21
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 7 is up!)

Hahahah...... im the man(see my name)

ill add this to my favorite fanfic stories on my SIG
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Old 04-30-2010, 01:31 AM   #22
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 7 is up!)

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Old 04-30-2010, 02:40 AM   #23
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 8 is up!)

This chapter is a must read for action and fights!!

Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Shippoukitsune (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Bluedrake)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Chapter 8 : To love or not to love?

While the two were in the lift, Lina began to mess with Rikimaru's fur. Akasha on the other hand, was monitoring through the CCTV, (after beating up Furion when he refused to let her use the CCTV...) looking extremely jealous. Back in the lift...

Lina : Oh Riki, I would love to cuddle with you day and night!
Rikimaru : (Remembered Akasha's threat...) Uh... I don't that would be a good idea...
Lina : Why not? Do you have someone else in your mind?
Rikimaru : Um... Yeah! In fact, I do have a lover waiting for me!
Lina : Who is it? Rylai? Luna or Traxex? maybe Shandelzare?
Rikimaru : You will have to figure out yourself...
Lina : (Began to pur...) Come on, you can tell me. I can keep a secret...
Akasha (lobby) : (Clenched her fist...) Tell me who is it and I will crush the !@#$%^&* into bits!!!
Mirana (lobby) : (Sweat formed on her forehead...) Tsk, women nowadays....
Furion (lobby) : Hey, did I missed anything?
Akasha/Mirana : SHUT UP! (kicked Furion's ass...)

When the lift reached the penthouse, the duo exited the lift and headed to the pool while Akasha blinked away to look for Balanar. Balanar smirked to himself when he saw Akasha tapping her foot impatiently in front of him...

Balanar : I see that you are here already. I guess that Riki is up in the penthouse then?
Akasha : Yeah. So lets see what you've got...
Balanar : Give me a second... That's funny, the ward seems to be not functioning...
Observer ward 1 : We need to close Observer_ward.exe due to a fatal error. Please ensure that the hardware is not in a broken or damaged condition in order to use it. For more info, please log in to www.Microsoft.com or click here to send the error report to us now...
Balanar : What the hell!?!? I bought these wards with 100 gold pieces each! It's no wonder the shop is called Graveyard!! It's either they sell broken or dead stuff!!!
Akasha : You still have another 5 wards, don't you?
Balanar : Yeah, it's a good thing I brought extra!

Upon further inspection, the rest of the wards were not functioning as well (Due to the fact that Mirana had destroyed them...) but miraculously, one of the ward was still working...

Balanar : Hey, ward #5 is still working!
Akasha : But why is the video all blurred?
Balanar : Must be the cheap products! Wait till I get my hands on that shopkeeper!
Akasha : At least the sound is perfectly clear...
Balanar : Hmm... Maybe I could still sell a mass collection of erotic sounds...
Akasha : Will you keep quiet?! I'm trying to listen!

Back to Rikimaru in the penthouse...

Traxex : Riki, you came!
Rikimaru : Do I have a choice?
Rylai : No you don't. Now why don't you be a good satyr and help me to apply the suntan lotion on my back.
Rikimaru : Sure thing... (Took the lotion and start to apply on her Rylai's back...)
Rylai : Is my bra getting in the way? Or should I take it out?
Balanar (lobby) : (Nose started to bleed...) Say yes! Say it man!
Akasha (lobby) : One wrong step and there goes his manhood...
Rikimaru : uh... That's not necessary...
Luna : Riki, I could you help me to oil these 2 watermelons? (I'm talking about real watermelons, not the one's you sick perverts are thinking right now...)
Rikimaru : I will do it after I'm done with Rylai here.

Unfortunately, Akasha and Balanar's mind were as corrupted as some of the sick perverts that I mentioned earlier and thus mistook the meaning of the phrase for something else. Akasha was cracking her knuckles in anger while Balanar was.... Being himself as usual...

Balanar (lobby) : (Holding a bucket to collect the blood that was flowing out from his nose...) Oh GOD! If the conversation gets any hotter, I might need a second bucket soon...
Akasha (lobby) : Hang on! Can vampires even have nose bleed? I thought you are... You know, Undead? Dry?
Balanar (lobby) : That's none of your business! And Riki seems to be enjoying himself up there...
Akasha (lobby) : That does it! Once he's out of the penthouse, he's a dead man!! I mean... Dead satyr!!!
Balanar (lobby) : Someone's jealous...
Akasha (lobby) : I'm not!
Luna : Riki, can't you rub the watermelons at a faster rate?
rikimaru : I'm trying my best...
Balanar (lobby) : I can't take it anymore!!! Must... Go... To... The... PENTHOUSE....
Traxex : Riki, could you give me a hand here?
Rikimaru : But I'm still applying oil onto Luna's massive melons...
Traxex : Just let Luna hold her own melons and help me out here!
Rikimaru : (Put the watermelons on the table and went to Traxex...) So, what can I do for you?
Traxex : I need to give me mouth to mouth resuscitation... Can you do it for me?

Akasha exploded in fury after hearing what Traxex said to Riki while Balanar's nose exploded in excitement after imagining too much erotic thoughts...

Balanar (lobby) : I'm going to the penthouse! Not even Furion or his stupid rules could stop me!
Akasha (lobby) : Balanar, if I'm you, I would shut the hell up and sit at the corner of the room quietly...
Rylai : Riki, is there any reason why are you so uncomfortable around us?
Rikimaru : uh... Because I---
Lina : Save your breath Rylai. He has someone else in his mind...
Rylai : Who is it? Is it one of us?
Rikimaru : No, it's none of you here...
Luna : Then who is it? Someone we know?
Rikimaru : Yeah, you all know her but I can't tell you...
Traxex : Tell us who is it or else...
Rikimaru : Or else what?
Lina : We have to do it by force!
Akasha (lobby) : Yeah! Make him talk. Once I know who's my opponent, I can eliminate her!
Rylai : I get it! I know why Riki is not telling us!
Luna : And why is it?
Rylai : Riki's a GAY!!!
Traxex : Oh dear, wait till everyone knows about this...
Rikimaru : No I'm not!
Lina : Come to think about it, I've information that you're in love with Furion!
Balanar (lobby) : (Vomiting blood instead of nosebleed...) This is sick and wrong!!!
Rikimaru : I never said that!
Luna : Refer back to chapter 5 when you are talking with Mirana.
Rikimaru : Huh? What do you mean by that?
Luna : I'm just telling the viewers so that they could find the evidence.... (Everyone smacked their own forehead due to Luna's lameness)
Rikimaru : But it was just a joke!
Lina : Joke or not, I will spread the rumor to everyone and since I hate Furion right now, I don't mind framing him with you,,,
Rikimaru : Please, that's not funny at all. I'm a healthy guy with good looks...
Traxex : We would stop the rumor if...
Rikimaru : If I'm telling you my current lover? Is that who you want to know?
Lina : You smarter than I have thought. So, who is it?
Rikimaru : I will tell you when she's ready...
Lina : So be it. Shandelzare, Do you mind going outside the hotel now and spread some disturbing rumors?
Shandelzare : Grr.... (She can't actually talk in the game...)
Rikimaru : ok, I confess! I LIKE AKASHA!!! Are you happy now?!

The statement struck hard on every women that listened to him. Balanar was actually feeling relieved to find out that Rikimaru was not gay and Akasha was just too surprised to say anything...

Akasha (lobby) : Was it me or did you hear what Riki said?
Balanar (lobby) : I hear him loud and clear saying that he's not gay! (Slapped by Akasha...) I meant what I heard was Riki likes you.
Luna : Riki, you can't be serious! What is it that you see in her?
Lina : You do know that she's from the Scourge right?
Traxex : Whether you like her or not, both of you will have to break up!
Rikimaru : Hey, this is my life and therefore, I can do anything that I like!
Rylai : Girls, maybe we can still make Riki change his opinions towards Akasha...
Rikimaru : Huh? What did you mean by that?
Lina : She's saying that we should claim you before Akasha does...
Rikimaru : This is none of your business and stop surrounding me!
Akasha (lobby) : Nobody threatens Riki while I'm here! I'm going up there myself!
Balanar (lobby) : You go girl! But I'll be staying here to listen the torture sound made by Riki...

While Akasha made her way to the lift, (after beating up Furion for not letting her to go the penthouse...) Rikimaru casted his permanent invisibility spell to avoid from the babes...

Traxex : We know you are out there some where. Come out come out wherever you are...
Lina : We've locked the door with a spell and there is no way out for you!
Rylai : Without anyone outside, you can't use your blink strike to run away.
Balanar (lobby) : Man, I would do anything to be in Riki's situation right now...
Akasha (5th floor) : If they harmed Riki in anyway, I will kill them all!

Being a drow ranger, Traxex could easily figure out where Rikimaru was hiding. Casting her silence spell, Rikimaru became visible again all the 5 babes proceeded to overpower him before he could escape again...

Luna : Calm down will you? We're doing this for your own good!
traxex : Perhaps, you will consider someone else to be your lover after this...
Akasha (15th floor) : Just give me another 20 seconds and I will reach there!
Balanar (lobby) : Why does he get to be gangbanged by 5 Sentinel babes while I just sit here and listen???
Rikimaru : Let go out me, all of yoU!!!
Lina : You won't be saying this once we are done with you...

The 5 Sentinel heroins proceeded to molest Rikimaru and he was unable to retaliate as each of his limb was being held firmly by them. Meanwhile, Mirana went to look for Balanar in the kitchen...

Mirana : Balanar, get your butt to the receptionist table now! My husband is arguing with Aiushta (Enchantress, in case you don't know...)
Balanar : Not now! I'm listening to the sexual torture sounds made by Riki!
Rikimaru (penthouse): Stop it!! I will call for my lawyer!!
Traxex (penthouse): Resistance is futile! Where is the rubber band??
Lina (penthouse): Here's the rubber band, make it quick and painless!
Rikimaru (penthouse): NO!!!!
Mirana : Um... What the hell is going on? What is happening to Riki and how did you get to spy on them?
Balanar : This is taken live in the penthouse right now as I've placed a few observer wards over there...
Mirana : But I can't be!! I've checked every angle of the room and made sure all the wards was destroye---
Balanar : IT WAS YOU!!! YOU BROKE MY EXPENSIVE WARDS!!!
Mirana : OOPs... Did I say it was me? Uh... I mean... FURION DESTROYED YOUR WARDS! Yeah, that's it!
Balanar : Someone's going to pay dearly for this... (went to look for Furion...)
Mirana : Oh dear...

Once Akasha reached towards the penthouse, she blinked into the room, knowing that the door is locked and ambushed the Sentinel babes...

Akasha : KEEP YOUR PAWS OF MY BOYFRIEND!!!
Rylai : How the heck do you know that we're here?!
Lina : I don't care, but it looks like we have some Scourge hero to kill...
Akasha : That's what you think!
Luna : Take this, foul Scourge!

Luna started to cast her ultimate, Eclipse in front of Akasha, but nothing happened...

Luna : What on Earth... (looked on top of the penthouse to see a closed sun-roof, blocking all the Lucent Beams from hitting anyone...) Who the !@#$ closed the sun-roof?!?!
Rylai : I closed it. I didn't like the hot weather...
Luna : You've just wasted my ultimate!!!
Akasha : Are you done? Now it's my turn!

Turning up her voice, she unleashed the Scream Of Pain and then followed by a Supersonic Wave, injuring the 5 Sentinel babes at once...

Lina : Ow! My ear hurts! Can't you silence her and keep her mouth shut?!?!
traxex : I used it on Riki just now! What about you? Where's your famous Laguna Blade??
Lina : Uh... I used it on Furion a while ago...
Rylai : Do I have to do everything myself? Observe as I begin to annihilate Akasha once and for all!

After much trash talk and meaningless threat, the fight was finally heated up when Rylai casted her Frostbite on Akasha followed by Fire Array made by Lina. Traxex on the other hand, shot her Frost Arrows to add some additional damage while Shandelzare joined in the assault by casting her Magic Missile on Akasha. Things started to look very bad for Akasha until Rikimaru interfered the 5 on 1 handicap fight with a loud obnoxious fart, sending blue smokes in the room while triggering the fire alarm in the process...

Lina : I can't see where I'm going! And why is there water everywhere?!
Luna : The moke set off the sprinkler system!
Rylai : Oh no! My ice is melting!
Lina : And my fire is dieing off...
Traxex : There goes my Frost Arrow. You will pay for this RIKI!!!

Before the Smokescreen dissipated, Rikimaru wasted no time and proceeded to Backstab Rylai and Lina, killing them at once with his sickle. When the three remaining heroins saw Rikimaru, his eyes were glowing gold, showing everyone that he was pissed off...

Rikimaru : Nobody... I repeat, NOBODY HURTS AKASHA ANYMORE!!! YOU HEAR ME!?!?
Luna : You do realise that you will have no happy ending with her, don't you?
Rikimaru : As I said before, it's my life and I can do whatever I want!
Traxex : You asked for it then. You will be dead with your Scourge girlfriend when this is over!
Rikimaru : bring it on!

What will eventually happen in the fight and who will win? Don't forget to check out chapter 9 to find out!

HAHA, a cliffhanger!! Do give me a reviews/comments/feedback regarding for this chapter, and stay tuned for the next chapter
NOTE: There will be a filler for Riki and Akasha once the story is complete
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Last edited by shippoukitsune; 04-30-2010 at 03:34 AM.
Old 04-30-2010, 03:05 AM   #24
Mr.SA
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 8 is up!)

damn not as much as i expected

but good chapter....
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Last edited by Mr.SA; 04-30-2010 at 04:28 AM.
Old 04-30-2010, 03:56 AM   #25
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 8 is up!)

riki made a bad choice
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Old 04-30-2010, 04:31 AM   #26
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 8 is up!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by kingarthas25 View Post
riki made a bad choice
if i was riki... i would choose the 5 senti babes
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Old 04-30-2010, 05:52 AM   #27
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 8 is up!)

There are reasons I put these 2 togethers, I guess all will be explained when I put in the fillers

Next chapter coming up in a few hours haha
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Old 04-30-2010, 06:43 AM   #28
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 8 is up!)

if i was riki, i'd go for the sentinel babes too. they can all take down akasha when she sees what Im doing
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Old 04-30-2010, 07:35 AM   #29
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 9 is up!)

Time for a new chapter and it's time for a new celebrity to appear

Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Shippoukitsune (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Bluedrake)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Chapter 9: Everlasting love.

With the last 3 heroin remained standing, Rikimaru was clearly outnumbered and outwitted by them. Akasha wasn't looking too good and with the multiple injuries on her body, she was in need of medical attention...

Traxex : You have no where to go now! Drop your weapons onto the floor and put your hands above your head!
Luna : You have the rights to remain silent because everything you said or do will be used against you!
Rikimaru : You girls are way into the CSI thing and all...
Horatio Caine : I think all of you should stop everything you are doing as all of you are under arrest...
Dota Heroes : HORATIO CAINE!!! WTF!?!?
Horatio Caine : You've got a problem with that?
Traxex : Yeah, I've a problem with you! Get your ass back to Miami!
Horatio Caine : I'm afraid I can't do that. Someone had sent a report to me stating that a bellboy is being gang-raped by a group of shameless women...
Rikimaru : I'm the victim, detective!
Luna : Who sent you here?!
Horatio caine : That would be from an old friend of mine by the name Mirana Nightshade...
Dota heroes : YOU KNEW MIRANA!?!?
Horatio Caine : Of course I knew her. Back in 1998, she was lost while wandering around Miami and I was the one that had personally escorted her back to here...
Luna : What the hell?!?! Mirana has been to Miami before??
Traxex : Friends or not, you're leaving this penthouse and resume what you have always been doing back in Miami!
Horatio Caine : Just drop that pathetic bow and arrow of yours and no one will get hurt...
Traxex : (Furious...) WHY DON'T YOU DROP DEAD INSTEAD, YOU OLD FART!!!

Traxex began to aim and released her arrow towards Horatio but he was too quick for her. Not realizing that she was bitting off more than she could chew, Traxex tried to launch another arrow at him. Within an instant, Horatio whipped out his handgun and shot Traxex down with his magnum pistol...

Announcer : Horatio Caine (level 25) has pawned Traxex's head for 0 gold!
Rikimaru : Holy shit! That's some quick and fast agility moves you've got there!
Luna : You are a level 25 hero in this game?!?!
Horatio Caine : I'm afraid so. Now, do I need to repeat what I said to Traxex to you again?
Luna : Uh... Of course not! You're the boss! (Put away her glaive thrower...)
Horatio Caine : Another case is solved. Now if you would excuse me, I'm required to be back in Miami headquaters. I'll see you again next time... ( Walked out of the penthouse coolly and entered into the lift...)
Rikimaru : Uh... Ok, bye...

With Horatio going back to Miami, Rikimaru released Luna and Shandelzare with a strict warning for them to mind their own business while lifting Akasha into his arms, bridal style before going down to the lobby. Back at the lobby when Balanar was on a manhunt...

Furion : I'm sorry, but 4-legged heroes are not allowed to be in this hotel...
Aiushtha : Are you bias with 4-legged people!?!? Your hotel motto on the outside states that "We serve everyone, Sentinel or Scourge!"
Furion : I did say that but if you read the motto carefully with a magnifying glass, it would be "We server everyone that has only 2 legs, (no more or less!) Sentinel or Scourge!"
Aiushtha : I'm telling Cenarius about this! He will definitely kill you once he heard about this!
Furion : Correction, my dear. I'm afraid that you have a mix up between Dota and Warcraft. Cenarius is only available in Warcraft campaign and in Dota, Cenarius is known as Leshrac the Tormented Soul and he's from the Scourge! So, basically, there is nothing you can do, HAHA!
Aiushtha : Damn it! But I'm not leaving until I received some customer service!
Furion : You want customer service? Wait for security guard to arrive and then you will truly receive your customer service! (Saw Balanar approaching him...) Speaking of devils, here's my security guard!
Balanar : I need to talk to you, NOW!!!
Furion : You can talk to me later! Right now are you angry, eager to strangle until you kill someone with your own arms?
Balanar : I sure am...
Furion : Good, you can do it to--- ACK!! What are you doing?!?!
Balanr : (Grabbed Furion by his neck...) I'm just fulfilling your death wish, strangle you to death with my own bare hands!!!
Furion : (Choke...) Not me!! Do it to Aiushtha! Let... go... of... me!!!
Balanar : I will let you go... When you pay me 20,000 gold pieces!
Furion : (Choke...) WHAT!?!?
Balanar : Don't act stupid in front of me! Mirana told me about your stunt on destroying my observer wards, causing me to lose my golden opportunity to sell a mass collection of DVD porn and crushing my dream as a pimp!
Furion : (Choke...) I... didn't... know... anything... or destroyed... any... wards...
Balanar : SILENCE! Just because you're no longer a pervert, that doesn't mean that you could stop Riki and I from being perverts! I'm giving you two days to gather the money for me or else I will trash your hotel upside down, inside out--- (Aiushtha tapped his shoulder...)
Aiushtha : Can I have my customer service now?
Balanar : Damn it! You can bother me after I finished threatening Furion! Now, where was I again? Right! Or else I will trash your hotel upsid--- (tapped his shoulders again...)
Aiushtha : But I'm in a hurry...
Balanar : WHAT THE !@#$%^&*() IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?! (Took a box of tissue and threw at her...) Take it or leave it!!! And get the hell out of the hotel! As I was saying--- (Still choking Furion...)
Furion : ..... (Died...)
Announcer : Balanar has pawned Furion's head for 0 gold!
Balanar : What!? He can't just die like that without knowing the threats I'm going to give him! ARGH!! That does it, I'm so pissed off that I'm going to kill the next person that walks up to me!!

Unfortunately for Horatio caine, (or Balanar...) he walked towards the reception desk to inform Mirana about the solved case. Unable to find her, Horatio decided to ask Balanar instead...

Horatio Caine : Excuse me, but did you happen to seen Mirana aroun----
Balanar : I'M SO GOING TO KILL YOU, !@#$%^& OLD FART!!! (Started to charge towards Horatio...)
Horatio Caine : Why the hell is everyone calling me old fart today??? (Whipped out his trademark handgun)

Within 2 seconds, the fight ended with 5 bullets lodging in Balanar's head and the Night Stalker was down to the ground...

Announcer : Horatio Caine has just pawned Balanar's head for 0 gold!
Horatio : Just because I look like an old fart, that doesn't mean I'm one!
Mirana : Thanks for taking out Balanar for me. He killed my husband after I lied to him about the broken observer wards...
Horatio : How long does it take for him to revive?
Mirana : Around 30 minutes, I guess... The wonders of altar of heroes... (the place where fallen heroes get revived)
Rikimaru : (Came out of the lift with Akasha...) Mr. Caine! I thought that you were in a hurry?
Horatio Caine : No matter how busy I am, I will always have time to chat with my old friends.
Mirana : You are flattering yourself Horatio. If you're in a hurry, just go already!
Horatio Caine : Sure thing. Another case is solved and life goes on... (left the hotel...)
Rikimaru : I'm taking Akasha to the dining room and I don't wish to be disturbed.
Mirana : Don't worry about it.

As Rikimaru and Akasha went to the dining room, let me illustrate the stats and skills of Horatio Caine! (A/N: This is purely fictional and will appear in any future Dota games...)

Hero name : Horatio Caine/Liutenant Caine (level 25)
Stats (level 25) : Agility : 180
: Intelligence : 200 (primary attribute)
: Strength : 150
Armor : 30
Damage : 200 - 250 chaos damage
Range : 1000
Attack speed : Very fast
Movement speed: 500
Hp : 2000
Mp : 2300

1st skill : Double damage (Increases his attack by two times the amount) Mana cost: 100/150/200/250
Level 1 : lasts for 30 seconds, cooldown 15 seconds
Level 2 : lasts for 1 minute, cooldown 30 seconds
level 3 : lasts for 1.5 minutes, cooldown 45 seconds
level 4 : lasts for 2 minutes, cooldown 1 minute

2nd skill : Divine shield (Makes Horatio invulnerable for 30 seconds) Cooldown: 1 minute
Level 1 : Mana cost: 400
Level 2 : Mana cost: 300
Level 3 : Mana cost: 200
Level 4 : Mana cost: 100

3rd skill : The stare... (Horatio stares at his enemies, weakening his foes severely... 300 AOE range...) Passive skill.
Level 1 : -3 armor, -5 hp per second
Level 2 : -6 armor, -10 hp per second
Level 3 : -9 armor, -15 hp per second
Level 4 : -12 armor, -20 hp per second

Ultimate : Police, freeze!!! (Horatio flashes his badge and gains extra stats and damage...) Last for 1 minute
Level 1 : Increase all his stats by 25 and damage by 100, mana cost 50
Level 2 : Increase all his stats by 55 and damage by 200, mana cost 100
Level 3 : Increase all his stats by 100 and damage by 300, mana cost 150

(This is why I should never think up of a new hero, but this would be cool if Icefrog does how this hero lol...)

Back to the story, Rikimaru carried Akasha into the dining room and put her down on one of the chairs...

Rikimaru : You're hurt pretty badly...
Akasha : I can see that... So, did you mean what you said back in the penthouse?
Rikimaru : About what?
Akasha : You know... About you, liking me...
Rikimaru : how did you know about that?!?!
Akasha : Just answer my question!
Rikimaru : I do love you but this relationship is not going to work out...
Akasha : Is there... Something wrong with me?
Rikimaru : Is not you. It's just that you're from the Scourge and I'm from the Sentinel. This is a forbidden love and it will never benefit us if we keep this relationship...
Akasha : Let me a judge to that then. Do you really know why I love you?
Rikimaru : (shook his head...)
Akasha : Love comes to everyone in an unexpected way and I totally had a crush on you once I saw your face, attitude and all. Once I realized I that fell in love with you, I have always accepted you for being who and what you are and I'll never try to change anything that's in you. I was thinking that perhaps I was the one that's suppose to change...
Rikimaru : What are you trying to say...
Akasha : If I'm going to be with you, I'm going to leave the Scourge once and for all...
Rikimaru : But what about your life that was devoted to the Scourge??
Akasha : I've nothing valuable to keep over there and I'm just a succubus that sold my soul to the Scourge while you are a hero of justice. I will not make you quit the Sentinel for me, never...
Rikimaru : I, I-- (Paused when Akasha gave him a kiss...)
Akasha : Shh... I know how you are feeling right now and just think about what I have said.
Rikimaru : I knew what I want in my heart and I know I'm taking this too fast but I was wondering if... (blushed...)
Akasha : What? Why are you blushing?
Rikimaru : If... you would be my mate?
Akasha : Are you sure you want to be my mate? I was worried that you would not bring this up since you knew about my flings...
Rikimaru : What has happened will always stay in the past. Right now, all I know is that you cared a lot for me when you risked my life going into the penthouse to save me
Akasha : Riki...

With that being said, the two couple began to leave a mark on each other's neck to signal everyone else that they are together permanently and sealed the promise with a kiss. Meanwhile, Pudge was spying on them from the kitchen while wiping some tears of his face...

Rikimaru : I will be back in a minute to get some healing from Mirana... (Went out of the dining room...)
Pudge : (Talked to himself...) Looks like my job here is done but it looks like the Scourge will not like this treachery made by Akasha...

While Rikimaru was still out of sight, Pudge approached Akasha for a one-on-one talk...

Pudge : So, I guess that your relationship with Riki is going fine?
Akasha : (blush...) Yeah, I guess. Wait, how did you know???
Pudge : I've seen the whole drama, dude...
Akasha : I guess you are ok if I leave the Scourge and joins the sentinel?
Pudge : It's fine with me but I'm sure about the Lich King though...
Akasha : I've discussed with Riki and he will tell Furion about this. If he allows me to join the Sentinel, I will leave the Scourge for sure...
Pudge : You're sure that he's worth for you to do all this?
Akasha : Yup, I'm 100% sure about that. Do you mind fighting with me the next time if I'm in the Sentinel?
Pudge : You? Fighting me? Don't try to feed so much...

The two had a hearty laugh as Rikimaru came back with a Perseverance that he borrowed from Mirana. Leaving the lovers to their own, Pudge continued to try and start a new recipe. Back in the lobby, Furion returned to the hotel (after reviving from the altar...) with a panic look...

Furion : Quick, close the main entrance and block Balanar from entering the hotel!
Mirana : Is that necessary to do all that?
Furion : Of course! He's gone nuts, making false claims that I broke his observer wards and forced me to pay 20,000 gold pieces for compensation!
Mirana : Well, I did break his wards...
Furion : IT WAS YOU!?!? Aw man! Why must you break his wards, ELUNEDAMNIT!?!?
Mirana : Are you saying that it is my fault that I tried to protect our customer's privacy?
Furion : You may be doing the right thing but you did it on the wrong person! Where is the security guard when you need one?!
Mirana : Balanar is the security guard...
Furion : Oh crap!! Where is Riki then?
Mirana : He's busy taking care of Akasha...
Furion : WHAT!?!? I don't pay him to babysit her! Get him out to fight Balanar!
Mirana : That wouldn't be a good idea right now...
Furion : I'm the boss of this hotel and I could order anyone to do anything at anytime!!
Mirana : Then why don't you tell Balanar to stop this childish act?
Furion : Anything but that... (Wolves began howling, signaling the night has come...) Oh shit! Now, he's going to get me for sure! I'll get Riki while you stay here and hold Balanar, may Elune help you! (ran off to the dining room...)
Mirana : But I--- (someone tapped her shoulder...) Balanar!
Balanar : I live once more!!!

Will Mirana be able to stop Balanar? Will Furion be able to get Riki to fight Balanar? Will Aksaha be joining the Sentinels? Don't forget to check my next chapter!

__________________________________________________ ______________

Here is chapter 10, do give me some support by providing me reviews

Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Shippoukitsune (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Bluedrake)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Chapter 10 : Wrath of the Lich King

Just as Furion left Mirana alone at the lobby, Balanar had reached the hotel and began to look for Furion and Horatio Caine...

Balanar : Where are they!?
Mirana : They?
Balanar : The bastard that owe me 20,000 gold pieces and the other douchebag that killed me! I want my revenge! Nobody could defeat me while it's night time!
Mirana : Take a chill pill, will you? I wouldn't suggest you to fight with Horatio but my husband is in the dining room. Perhaps both of you could settle this argument peacefully?
Balanar : Certainly not! If he can't cough up the cash for me, I will smash, bash, crush, and dismember that old fart!
Mirana : I'm afraid that you can never get your money through violence. Why don't you give him some time?
Balanar : How long? My patience is running low lately...
Mirana : Give him another week and here's the 10,000 gold pieces that my husband owed you. Just tell him that you did a major miscalculation and get the other 10,000 gold pieces from him...
Balanar : How did you get this much gold pieces?!?!
Mirana : Ever heard of savings account?
Balanar : Right...
Mirana : And one more thing, the gold pieces are not allowed to be trade for weapons or items in the game...
Balanar : What?!?! Then why the hell should I listen to you? It's my gold now and I can do whatever I want with!
Mirana : Well, the author said so. At least you can use the money to take a trip to Hawaii and relax for a while...
Balanar : Damn it...

Taking the gold pieces, Balanar returned to work satisfied while Furion barged into the dining room, looking at Rikimaru and Akasha cuddling with one another...

Furion : Ahem... If you have read my rulebook, you should know that rule# 6257 : Dating among staff is prohibited...
Rikimaru : (Growled at Furion...) You have a problem with me and my mate?!
Furion : MATE!! WTF!?!? Please don't tell me that the two of you have mated and marked each other!?
Akasha : Well, we only have marked each other, we still haven't have done anything further than that. For now...
Furion : ELUNEDAMNIT! I left this place for more than 30 minutes and you two became husband and wife!? You do know that Akasha's from the Scourge and you are from the Sentinel!?
Rikimaru : I was about to approach you on this issue. I was wondering if Akasha quits the Scourge join the Sentinel, will you have any objection?
Furion : Hm... After all the unfortunate incidents, (Knight Davion leaving the game, the Sentinel babes became unreliable...) I think I will have no objection. Just remember, we do not accept betrayal from anyone, get it?!
Akasha : Yes sir! I will not let the Sentinel down!
Furion : Well then, your first task for tonight will be... Killing Balanar!
Rikimaru : Don't you think that the task is a bit too tough for starters?
Akasha : And he's a part of this hotel staff...
Furion : He was out staff, until he went nuts and threatened to kill me. If you believe me, we can see how Balanar comes rampaging into the hotel and kills my wife anytime now!

The trio exited the dining room to look for the 'Vicious' Balanar. Once they reached the lobby, Balanar was seen mopping the floor while whistling happily...

Balanar : Hey boss, what's up?
Furion : Uh... I'm fine, I guess...
Rikimaru : And you were saying that he's on a massacre?
Furion : Well, he was...
Balanar : After some recalculation and readjustment, I've realized that you only owe me 10,000 gold pieces and you have a week to pay me.
Furion : Hooray!... Wait, is that even a good news?!?!
Akasha : Well, we will be at our workstation and Mirana, here's your Perseverance.
Mirana : No worries, and welcome to the Sentinel!
Balanar : What do you mean by that?! Akasha's joining the Sentinel!?!?
Akasha : I will follow wherever Riki goes...
Balanar : Stop fooling around! It's not like he's your mate or something!
Furion/Mirana : As the matter of fact, she is Riki's mate now...
Rikimaru : You have a problem with that?
Balanar : Uh... It's cool with me... I uh... I need to go to the toilet! (ran off...)
Furion : Well, what are you standing here for? Resume your duties!

As everyone resumed their duties, Balanar rushed into the toilet and made sure no one occupied any of the toilets. Once he was sure the coast was clear, he took out his mobile phone and looked into the phone directory for the Lich King. As the secretary for the Scourge, it was his duty to report to the Lich King about any betrayal or uprisings...

Balanar : Hm... Let's see... (found Lich King's number and press dial...)
Answer machine : Welcome to the Lich King's hotline! How can I help you? Press 1 you are from the Sentinel and you would like to join the Scourge. Press 2 if you want to know the benefits of being a Scourge. Press 3 if you have no idea why are you calling me. Press 4 if you like to watch "Meet the Spartans". Press 5 if you want to report about a Scourge member betraying me and please hang up if you want a loan from me...
Balanar : (Pressed 5) Damn the Lich King's answering machine!
Lich King : This is the Lich King speaking! If this is another prank call or a get rich quick scheme, I will kill you!
Balanar : Chill, it's me Balanar...
Lich King : What do you want??
Balanar : It's about Akasha. She has decided to leave the Scourge and joined the Sentinels!
Lich King : How dare she betrayed us! However, she's still a valuable asset for us. Is there anyway to persuade her to rejoin the Scourge again?
Balanar : I don't think so. She has already mated with Rikimaru from the Sentinels...
Lich King : This treachery will not go unseen! I will send two of my special agents to take care of this!
Balanar : Yes sir! (hang up the phone...)

After the conversation with the Lich King, Balanar went to the hotel entrance to wait for the Lich King's special agents. While waiting, someone had unexpectedly came and it was Zeus, the Lord of Olympia. Being a demigod after he was thrown out of heaven, he still inherits the bossy and high class attitude which pisses off everyone easily...

Furion : Zeus, how can I help you?
Zeus : So this is the so-called 5 Star hotel that everyone has been talking about. This hotel sucks if you ask me!
Mirana : Are you here to complain or do you want to stay in this hotel?
Zeus : Hmph! I will give a try with this hotel and see how bad could it get! Reserve me a VIP room and get me the most expensive service that is available in this hotel!
Furion : Right away! Riki, I need you to fetch our VIP's luggage!
Zeus : You have to actually call for the bellboy to come?! Hotel's in America have bellboys that does their job without being told to!
Furion : Hey, stop comparing us with the hotels in America!
Zeus : Man, this is the worst hotel that I've been in my life! (Went into the lift as he left Rikimaru struggling to carry the luggage...)
Rikimaru : Hey, wait up!
Zeus : You're just a bellboy and inferior to me. Therefore, you should be taking the stairs up to the 25th floor! I'm expecting to see you up there once I reached the 25th floor!
Rikimaru : WHAT!? You can't be serious!
Zeus : Do it or you will be losing a 100 gold pieces tips... (The door closed as the lift went up...)
Rikimaru : 100 gold pieces for my tips?!?! It's 5 times my annual salary!!
Furion : What are you waiting for then? GO!!!

Reavealing his hidden strength when it comes to money, Rikimaru lifted the 1-tonned luggage and ran all the way up to the 2th floor. Once he reached to the highest floor, Rikimaru was exhausted and leaned onto a wall to rest. While resting, Zeus exited from the lift and stare at him...

Zeus : You are lazy punk, aren't you?
Rikimaru : (Breathing heavily...) Comments... Later... Breath and rest... First....
Zeus : You are pathetic! (Carried his luggage and left the tips on the floor...)

Feeling angry and happy at the same time, Rikimaru ignored the harsh comment made by Zeus and pocketed the tips. Meanwhile, the Lich King's secret service had just arrived and they were none other than Lucifer the Doombringer and Azgalor the Pitlord...

Furion : How can we help you?
Lucifer : You can help us by standing still while we trash your hotel!
Furion : You can't do that! Balanar, get your ass in here and get rid of your Scourge friends!
Balanar : Uh... The two of you have to behave yourself while you are here or els---
Lucifer : Or else what?!?! Are you going to kick our ass, the Lich King's secret service??
Balanar : (Whispered to them...) Just make this easy for me and then you can do whatever you want in the hotel...
Azgalor : You want it to be easily done? No problem!!

Without hesitating, Lucifer casted his LVL Death onto Balanar while Azgalor casted his mumbo jumbo (Pit of Malice) spell to trap Balanar. Without mercy, Lucifer proceeded to cast Doom onto the poor soul...

Balanar : Great... I'm doomed. Literally...
Azgalor : You are terminated!!! (cast Dagon 5 onto Balanar and killed him instantly...)
Lucifer : !@#$% You totally 'ks'ed me!!
Azgalor : You've got a problem with that?! We still have a job to do!
Lucifer : We will settle this later!

Lucifer continued his rampage in the hotel by casting Scorched Earth spell around the hotel lobby and set it on fire. Azgalor then joined in the fun by casting Fire Storm in the hotel...

Furion : Stop it!! Why are you doing this to my hotel?!?!
Lucifer : We are the secret service for the Lich King and we're also known as the arsonists!
Mirana : Dude, my husband asked you why are you doing this! Not who are you!
Furion : This is what happens when you joined the Scourge. You tend to lose the ability to think before you speak...
Azgalor : How dare you insult the Scourge! I will kil---
Lucifer : Let me do the talking! Anyway, we are here for Akasha and until we get her back, we will simply burn down the hotel!
Mirana : She belongs to the Sentinal now and you have no rights to take her away!
Azgalor : Haha! Once a person join th---
Lucifer : Silence! How many times do I have to tell you?! I'll do the talking! Anyway, once a person joins the Scourge, he/she will always be a part of it!
Akasha : (Blinked into the lobby...) Enough of this! I'll follow you two to meet the Lich King.
Furion : But you don't have to---
Akasha : I know what I'm doing and I'll be fine...
Azgalor : (Grabbed hold of Akasha...) You should have done this from the beginni---
Lucifer : Just shut up and do your thing!
Azgalor : ......

casting his ultimate Dark Rift, the duo took Akasha into the portal, leaving the lobby to be engulfed in the sea of fire...

Furion : Quick! Tell Rikimaru about this while I call for the fire brigade!
Mirana : Sure thing! Um... Where is he now?
Furion : He's in the lift, descending from the 15th floor.
Mirana : I guess I will be waiting here...
Furion : Whatever... (Dialed 911 for the fire department...)
Answer Machine : Welcome to Kalimdor's Fire Department, how can we help you? Press 1 if your cat is stuck on top of a tree. Press 2 if a plane crashed into your building. Press 3 if your head is stuck in the toilet bowl. Press 4 if your building is on fire. And please hang up if you need an ambulance!
Furion : Damn the fire department's answering machine! (pressed 4)
Morphling : ..... (He can't talk in the game...)
Furion : HELLO?!?!
Morphling : ..... (Started to make water wave sounds...)
Furion : Morphling, is that you!?!? Get your ass over here and extinguish the fire in my hotel now!

Instantaneously, Morphing and his fire fighters (consists of Enigma and Slithice) used the Scroll of Town Portal and teleported to Furion's hotel. Once they entered into the burning building, Morphing casted his waveform across the fire while Enigma casted his Blackhole and absorbed all the fire into a single place. Slithice on the other hand, casted her mirror image and used all the illusions to put out the fire. Outside the hotel, Aiushtha saw the trio going into the hotel, not knowing that they were firefighters...

Aiushtha : So how come all of them have no legs but could still enter the hotel? I need an explanation from Furion!!

Without thinking, Aiushtha barged into the entrance and landed right into the concentrated raging fire...

Slithice : What are you doing!?!?
Aiushtha : HELP!! I'M ON FIRE!!!
Furion : WOw, she's on fire. Literally...
Aiushtha : AHH!!!!..... (Died...)
Announcer : Aiushtha had killed herself!
Morphling : .....

After a few minutes, the fire was finally put out and Rikimaru had just reached the lobby to see the whole place being covered in soot and ashes with water everywhere...

Rikimaru : So, did I miss anything?
Mirana : You've totally missed a whole load of shit! Akasha was taken away by Lucifer and Azagalor. The two of them burnt the hotel before they left and that was why the firefighters are here!
Rikimaru : Ok... I did missed out a lot of things. Now, tell me where did they took her!
Furion : I heard the two saying that the Lich King demanded to see Akasha...
Rikimaru : I'm going into the Scourge encampment to get her back!
Mirana : You do know that you are committing suicide if you are going there alone?
Rikimaru : What are you suggesting then?
Mirana : I will get you some back-up...
Furion : I've a bad feeling about this...

Who will Mirana recruit to help Rikimaru? Will Akasha be able to leave the Scourge once and for all? Why is Auishtha so noob!?!? Don't forget to check out my next chapter to know more!
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Old 05-01-2010, 02:37 AM   #30
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 10 is up!

I... I can't breathe... ... can't stop... ...laughing... hahahahaha!!! ELUNEDAMNIT!!!! Hahahahahahaha!!! And Horatio Caine?? Hahahahaha!!! :ROFL:
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Old 05-01-2010, 08:04 AM   #31
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 10 is up!

Here's another chapter guys! Let's hope I can get some reviews this time

Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Shippoukitsune (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Bluedrake)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Chapter 11 : Total epic war!


While Mirana was on the phone calling for back-up, Furion congratulated the firefighters for their excellent service...

Furion : Thanks to your quick response and thinking, my hotel is saved. As for your reward, how would you like to stay here for a while and enjoy a sauna service absolutely for free?
Slithice : We would like to but we can't. You do now that sauna and us doesn't mix well???
Furion : It's your loss then...
Slithice : Whatever... (The trio exited the hotel...)
Rikimaru : Come on! Where's my back-up??
Mirana : I've called for them and they should be here any second now---
John Rambo : I'm ready for action!
Neo : SO am I
Gondar : Bring it on!
Furion : John Rambo from Rambo IV, Neo from Matrix and Gondar the Bounty Hunter!? Is this some kind of an epic movie?!?!
Mirana : Duh...
Rikimaru : Ok, I could have guessed that Gondar would be here but how did these two Hollywood star got here??
Mirana : I knew them while I was on vacation in Hollywood. They would provide you plenty of help in this mission Riki.
Furion : Wait, how come I didn't know that you went to Hollywood??
Rikimaru : And how many places did you exactly go throughout your life??
Mirana : Quite a few places, but I've lost count...
Furion : Right... The four of you should be going for this rescue mission now while Mirana and I get the hotel clean up before grumpy Zeus finds out anything about this...
Rikimaru : Sure thing!

With Rikimaru and his 3 new allies going into the Scourge encampment, we now proceed to the Scourge where Lucifer and Azgalor captured Akasha and presented her to the Frozen Throne...

Lich King : Bow before me! Or have you forgotten your place?!
Akasha : My place belongs to wherever my mate is!
Lich King : You're a feisty one aren't you?
Akasha : What does it take to get away from you!?
Lich King : Simple... PERMANENT DEATH!!!
Azgalor : (Whispered to Lucifer...) Can we actually die permanently?
Lucifer : (Whispered to Azgalor...) Technically, we can. If we died of natural disease or old age, we will never be reincarnated at the alter. But with some heroes in this game being immortal and never age, dieing of natural disease would be a good option...
Akasha : If... I do it... I'm free for the Scourge once and for all?
Lich King : OF course my dear, but what's the point of joining the Sentinel if you are going to die?
Akasha : Because I would rather die than to join you...
Lich King : The choice is yours and you have just chosen death! Azgalor, bring me the death potion!
Azgalor : (Walked to retrieve the potion...)Why do I always have to do your dirty job?

As we wait for Azgalor to bring out the potion, we now focused back to Furion, Mirana and Tinker in the hotel...

Furion : Well, as you can see, this hotel was just built within days and the whole paint came off entirely!!! I'm demanding you to repair and rebuild all this mess, FOR FREE!!!
Tinker : Hm... These damages looked strange to me... I could have sworn this lobby is burnt by fire or something...
Furiom : Uh... Stop making stupid assumptions and start repairing or I will sue you for selling cheap products!
Tinker : Oh well, Give me 30 minutes to repair all these damages...
Furion : Make it quick! (Turned to Mirana...) Now, all we have to do is to keep that old fart from coming down!
Mirana : And how am I suppose to do that? And speaking of him, he's in the lift!
Furion : ELUNEDAMNIT! If he see's all these mess, we are screwed!
Tinker : Pardon me, but could you switch off the main power supply for the hotel so I could repair the lobby without electrocuting myself?
Furion : Sure thing... (Turned off the main circuit...)
Mirana : That's it!
Furion : That's what?!
Mirana : Without the power supply, Zeus will be stuck in the lift!
Furion : Hey, you are right!

As Furion and Mirana successfully stopped Zeus from going down the lobby, Rikimaru, Rambo, Neo and Gondar had arrived at the Scourge Encampment...

Rikimaru : So, what's the plan?
Rambo : I suggest that we should charge in Rambo style and rescue the damsel in distress!
Neo : That would be fine with me...
Gondar : Uh guys, I'm just a bounty hunter, not a kung fu, bullet dodging, steroid-pumped punks like you! I do things the silent way...
Rikimaru : How about this? Neo and Rambo will distract them while Gondar and I sneak into their main encampment,,,
Rambo : Sure, let's get the show on the road! You ready, Neo? ( Took out his MG42...)
Neo : Ready when you are...

And so,Rambo began to fire millions of bullets at the Scourge Tower and within 5 seconds, the first tower was down. The ghouls and necromancers were then seen charging at the duo as Rikimaru and Gondar sneaked into the Scourge base through the forest...

Ghoul 1 : Who're these two?? Some kind of a new guy?
Ghoul 2 : Who cares? They break our tower, we break them!
Necromancer : Fools! That's John Rambo from Rambo IV! We won't stand a chance against him!
Rambo : That's right guys! Now can you hold this for me? (Chuck a hand grenade towards one of the ghouls...)
Ghoul 1 : (Caught the grenade...) I got it! Now what?!

As the grenade exploded, body parts could be seen everywhere and our two new heroes charged into the heart of the Scourge encampment. Meanwhile, at the Scourge main encampment...

Lich King : Damn it! What is taking Azgalor so long?!?!
Lucifer : He lost his way again, I guess... (Phone began to ring...)
Lich King : Aren't you are going to answer that?
Lucifer : opps... (Answered the phone...) What is it?
Naix (phone) : We are under attack by some Hollywood actors from the south-east!
Lucifer (phone) : WHAT!?!? I will inform the Lich King right away! (hang up the phone...)
Lich King : What is it?
Lucifer : My lord, we're under attack by Hollywood actors right now!
Lich King : I knew the Sentinels would pull off a trick like this. Luckily, I myself have found someone to help us!
Lucifer : And who will that be, my lord?
Agent Smith : Did someone called for me?
Darth Vader : And me?
Akasha : WTF!?!? This epic story is just getting lamer and lamer!
Lich King : What did you say?
Akasha : Nothing...
Lich King : Lucifer, if you have nothing better to do, guide our new allies towards the battlefield!
Lucifer : Sure thing, my lord...

As Lucifer led the agents towards the battle ground, Azgalor were finally back from his task with the requested potion. Rikimaru and Gondar were spying at them through the forest, after unknowingly tracking Azgalor...

Azgalor : Sir, the potions are here as you requested. And we are being attacked from the south-east!
Lich King : I knew that part already , you retarded, out-dated noobass!! So, what took you so long to get the potions?!?! It's just a bottle of coke and a stick of Mentos!
Azgalor : Our merchants ran out of order so I have to get from the nearest 7-11...
Lich King : Whatever, we'll wait for our guest Riki to arrive so he could see witness the death of his own mate!! HAHA
Akasha : Jerk...
Lich King : Shut the hell up!
Rikimaru (forest) : That's it! I will kill that statue man!!!
Gondar (forest) : Keep it quiet man! We will get them once we have the opportunity!
Lich King : Huh, did I hear someone talking in the forest??
Azgalor : I think it's just your imagination my lord...
Lich King : I suppose you are right...
Rikimaru (forest) : (Covering Gondar's mouth...) Are you trying to get us killed?? Which part of the word 'stealth' that do you not understand?!?!
Gondar (forest) : ME!?!? IT WAS YOU, YOU BABOONMOUTH! IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR---
Lich King : AHA! I KNEW I HEARD SOMEONE TALKING! GET HIM!!
Rikimaru/Gondar : DAMN, busted!

As Azgalor sliced his way through the forest, our two heroes used their invisibility skills to lay low for a while. Unbeknownst to them, Azgalor was given the Gem of True Sight by the Lich King, enabling him to see all hidden heroes...

Azgalor : You can't run away from me Riki! My nose could smell your tainted blood even from a mile away!
Rikimaru : You are not going to smell anything after this! (Blink Striked to him and farted out his smoke screen...)
Azgalor : The smell is awful!!!

While Azgalor began to slow down and covering his nose from the thick cloud of smokescreen, Rikimaru began to Backstab him while Gondar threw his Shuriken in front of the Pitlord. Once the smoke was gone, Azgalor began to raise his sword (or something similar to that) and casted the Pit of Malice and Firestorm at the same time, trapping the two under the fiery hell...

Gondar : Damn it hurts!
Azgalor : You think that the pathetic fan throwing skill could kill me? Well you have to think again!
Gondar : First of all, that was a Shuriken I tossed at you and secondly, the skill is not pathetic! (Cast another Shuriken Toss at Azgalor again...)

Surprisingly, the second Shuriken Toss did do a higher damage onto Azgalor as the Shuriken landed onto his head, killing him instantly. (This can never happen in real Dota game...)

Announcer : HEADSHOT!
Rikimaru : Stupid announcer! This is not Pudge War!!
Announcer : (Emo....)..... Gondar has pawned Azgalor's head for 0 gold...

Meanwhile, back to Furion and Mirana...

Furion : I bet that Zeus is pissing angry for being stuck in the lift! Just give me another 10 minutes and the repair will be completed!
Mirana : Uh.. Furion... The lift...
Furion : What's with the lift?
Mirana : It's moving down again!!!

Being a demigod, Zeus could summon lightning bolt out of nowhere and he used the generated electricity to control the lift to move downwards...

Furion : Crap! I should've seen that coming!
Mirana : What are we going to do?! He's on the 5th floor!
Furion : Let's just pray that Elune will help us...

While the construction was still being done, Zeus came out of the lift angrily and the condition of the lobby boost up his anger-o-meter...

Zeus : WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?
Furion : The meaning of what?
Zeus : The bad service that I've been receiving! First of all, not a damn person in this hotel will answer my call for room service, making me to get down here myself! Then there is a power failure in the lift, forcing me to use my spell and mana to generate unnecessary electricity! And now when I'm down here, I'm seeing a hotel lobby that is even more disgusting than your face!
Furion : That's it! I've had enough with you, you short ass! Don't think that just because you're a demigod, you could boss us around! And come to think of it, I'm very sure the reason you were thrown out from heaven was because you pissed off other Gods that stayed with you, didn't you?!
Zeus : How did you know that?? Uh... I meant... HOW DARE YOU MADE SUCH AN ACCUSATION ON ME!!
Furion : You know what? You can say whatever things that you like and I won't give a damn about it! If you want to complain about me, you will need to fill in forms before you could do that!
Zeus : YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON THAT ACTUALLY GO AGAINST ME AND.... AND...
Furion : AND WHAT!?
Zeus : And I actually like it...
Mirana : What do you mean that you liked it!?
Zeus : Well, I had countless of people that has been doing everything according to my way and it gets quite boring sometimes. But when you went against me, I found a new, different, excited feeling...
Mirana : (Whispered to Furion...) He's nuts! No wonder Elune toss him out from the Kingdom of Gods...
Furion : (Whispered to Mirana...) I could see that. I think we should stand a few meters away from him, just incase...
Zeus : Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah.... (Paused for a second...) Are you listening???
Furion : Yes, you may carry on your magnificent speech...
Zeus : Where was I again? Ah yes, as you have helped me to develop this new emotion, I hereby present to you a cheque worth 20,000 gold pieces!
Furion/Mirana : (Jaw dropped open...) You're serious about that?!?!
Zeus : What? You want more? very well, you could have this 40,000 gold pieces worth of cheque then!
Furion : That's very generous of you...
Zeus : It's nothing! I've plenty of money to waste and I now I'm going some other place in this hotel to piss me off! Any good place that could start pissing me off?
Furion : Uh... You could go to the kitchen to look for Pudge. He would definitely piss you off easily...
Zeus : YAY! And remember, the gold pieces not allowed to be trade for weapons or items in the game. (Went to the kitchen...)
Furion : Yes, the author had told me about that part a long time ago...
Mirana : For a weird demigod, he's freaking rich...
Furion : I've to agree with you on that.
Mirana : So, with the 40,000 gold pieces in your hands, you could pay off all your debts and return my 10,000 gold pieces!
Furion : What did you mean by return you your 10,000 gold pieces??
Mirana : Don't you get it? I've paid half of your debt to Balanar and therefore, you owed him only 10,000 gold pieces!
Furion : But I've just enough gold pieces to pay off my current debts. I may need some time to pay you back, my love...
Mirana : Sure thing... perhaps you can repay your debt tonight when I tie you down to the bed...
Furion : Anything you like, my dear..

And so, Zeus has began his quest to look for Pudge to piss him off while the Hollywood fighters were still in the frontal assault and Rikimaru together with Gondar will be facing the Lich King. What will eventually happen!? Don't forget to check out chapter 12!
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Old 05-01-2010, 10:35 AM   #32
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 11 is up!

Hehe, nice chapter! Really funny
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Old 05-01-2010, 11:10 AM   #33
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 11 is up!

This is just freaking awesome! Darth Vader? Neo? Hahahaha!!
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Old 05-01-2010, 11:46 AM   #34
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 11 is up!

there's no need for me to comment every post. it's just freaking awesome
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Old 05-01-2010, 03:40 PM   #35
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 11 is up!

it's getting more epic than ever
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Old 05-01-2010, 03:44 PM   #36
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 11 is up!

Thanks for the response guys, here's another chapter

Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Shippoukitsune (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Bluedrake)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...


Before starting this chapter, I have to tell you that everything that is being mentioned in this story is totally based on Dota before v6.60 (Cause there are major changes and I don't want people thinking that I've made any unnecessary mistakes...) Now lets get on with the story!

Chapter 12 : (can't find a suitable title... Reviewers can help me think up of one XD)

While Zeus is going to the kitchen, we now focused back onto our Hollywood heroes...

Rambo : (Still firing his MG42...) Hah! This is all too easy!
Neo : Something is wrong here, everything is too quiet...
Naix : This will be the furthest you can go before both of you die!
Lion : Nobody could just walked to the Scourge encampment and trash us!
Demnok Lannik : It's time for me to kill...
Neo : Are you the clowns from the Lich King? Tell him that I'm about to kick his ass!
Naix : This clown that you are talking about happens to be the fastest AGI (I'm not very sure about this...) hero around here!

With that being said, Naix charged towards Neo at an amazing speed. Surprisingly, Neo casted his bullet time effect and he was just as fast as Naix . While the two began to exchange punches and kicks with one another, Rambo wasted no time and started firing his machine gun at the other 2 Scourge heroes. Unfortunately, just after shooting two round of bullets, Rambo's machine gun ran out of ammo and he had no choice but to waste his enemies manually...

Demnok Lannik : Who do you think that you are, charging towards us like this! Rambo?!
Rambo : As a matter of fact, I am RAMBO!
Lion : CRAP! But this will stop you! (casted his finger of death...)
Demnok Lannik : And together with this, you are dead!! (Casted his Guinsoo...)

As the deadly lightning bolt was about to hit Rambo, Demnok had accidentally used his Guinsoo to turn him into a small frog, helping Rambo to avoid the Finger of Death entirely as the lightning bolt continued to travel forward until it reached towards Neo and Naix's battle. Naix, being the unluckiest hero in the game, had been electrocuted to death by his own ally...

Announcer : Naix had been killed by his teammate, Lion! Assist : Demnok Lannick...
Demnok Lannik : WTF did you do!?!? Casting your finger on Naix!
Lion : It's all your fault, you old fart! If it wasn't for your stupid Guinsoo, Rambo would have been dead!
Demnok Lannik : You're the worst ally that I've ever teamed up with so far!
Lion : That's because you don't know anything about teamwork, stupid!
Rambo : Uh guys, your enemy is still here...
Demnok Lannik : (Ignored Rambo...) You think that I like to team up with the King of 'kser' in the Scourge!?
Lion : (Ignored Rambo as well...) At least I'm better than you, the King of noob!!
Demnok Lannik : Why you little maggot.... TAKE THIS! (casted his Rain of Chaos onto Lion...)

The fire inferno casted by Demnok had landed directly onto Lion, crushing him into a piece of roasted meat. While Demnok was still laughing at his dead-former ally, Rambo and Neo had sneaked pass the Warlock to the main encampment of the Scourge...

Demnok Lannik : Hahaha! This is what you get for insulting me!! Now where was I? Hey, where the hell is everyone???

While our celebrities are finding their way to meet up with their teammates, we now focused back to Rikimaru and Gondar, which is currently facing the Lich King himself...

Lich King : So, the two of you thinks that you could stop me from killing that traitorous Akasha!?
Rikimaru : Say all you want! You're just a talking statue! What are you going do to me if I rescue Askaha right now?
Lich King : If you've played Dota v4 , you would have known that I could attack you just like a normal tower!
Gondar : Hey, that's cheating! Our World Tree can't do anything cool like that!
Lich King : That's the benefit of being a Scourge. If you want to join me, it's still not too late...
Akasha : Don't listen to his lies and deceives! Being a member of Scourge sucks!
Lich King : Shut up! You are a hostage! So act like one!
Rikimaru : Don't you dare talk to her in a rude manner!
Lich King : Let's just skip all these trash talk and move on to the fighting scene shall we?
Rikimaru : (Smack Gondar's head as he was still thinking about the offer...) Let's do this, statue man!
Gondar : Uh... Right!

Just as Rikimaru and Gondar got themselves prepared, the Lich King summoned the Dota Scourge seniors (consist of Kel' Thuzad, Leshrac and Rotund'jere) to fight the duo...

Rikimaru : Hey, that's not fair! You're using senior citizens to fight with us!
Gondar : We can't be seen beating up old grandads...
Lich King : If you can't beat us, then join us!
Kel' Thuzad : Or else you will have to die pathetically!

The three seniors began to cast their primary spells onto the heroes, forcing them to retreat. Once Rikimaru and Gondar retreated back into the forest, they split up to confuse the enemies. The seniors entered into the forest and splited up as well, with Rotund'jere heading towards Rikimaru while the other 2 headed towards Gondar...

Rotund'jere : Come out and fight like a man you are! I know that you're out there somewhere...
Rikimaru : I'm right behind you!

Using his same old tactic, Rikimaru farted out his smokescreen and Backstabbed Rotun'jere. With only 3 hits, Rotund'jere was down...

Rikimaru : Hey, that was easy! Hang on, why is the announcer not saying that I've killed someone?
Announcer : ........
Rotund'jere : Because I'm not dead! (Came out from one of the bushes...)

Unbeknowst to Rikimaru, Rotund'jere was carrying his favourite item, the Manta Style. With the ability to conjure illusions, Rikimaru had fell for the trick and wasted his skills on some fake old fart. Rotund'jere then casted his Death Pulse followed by his Dagon 2 and finished off Rikimaru with his ultimate, Reaper's Scythe...

Rotund'jere : Even the best swordsmaster have to bow down to spellcasters. How about you?
Rikimaru : (Breathing heavily...) I'm... not... done... with you... yet...
Rotund'jere : If I'm you, you should be going back to wherever you came from and stop your operation 'Rescue Akasha'...
Rikimaru : I've promised... that I will... take care of her... and I won't break... my promise!

With all his last strength and stamina, Rikimaru Blinked Striked towards the front Rotund'jere and gave him a Low Blow. (A westling signature and I'm not promoting WWE, that's why I'm using these two cute bears as an example ...)


As the Necrolyte clutched his nuts in pain and agony, Rikimaru proceeded to bash the 7 shade of shit out of the real old fart this time...

Rotund'jere : You... fight... using... dirty... moves.... ARGH!!! (Died...)
Announcer : Rikimaru has pawned Rotund'jere's head for 0 gold!
Rikimaru : Who said anything about fighting fair? (Began to cough out blood...) I don't think that I can even walk straight for now...
Announcer : Kel' Thuzad had pawned Gondar's head for 0 gold! Assist : Leshrac...
Rikimaru : Damn! I need to lay low before they get their hands on me...

While Rikimaru headed back towards the Lich King for a one-on-one fight, we now focused back to Zeus where he found Pudge in the kitchen...

Zeus : So, you must be the so-called famous chef that Furion was talking about...
Pudge : What did you mean by that? Are you insulting my cooking style now?
Zeus : It depends, you fat-ass! I want your best cooked meal and make it snappy!
Pudge : Your meal should be ready in 30 minutes...
Zeus : EXCUSE ME!? Do you know who am I?!
Pudge : You are Zeus...
Zeus : That is not the point! I'm the VIP for this hotel and you should be treating me like one by preparing my meal at a faster rate!
Pudge : Fine. The food will be done in another 29 minutes...
Zeus : What the hell is wrong with you!? Can't you understand a simple instruction!?!? What are you, some kind of a mindless,moron beast?!
Pudge : Are you done? It's my turn now! What the !@#$% is so great about you!? Can't you understand Maths? 29 minutes is obviously faster than 30 minutes! And why are you so short?!?!
Zeus : You are totally the same as Furion!
Pudge : What did you mean by that?! I'm way better looking than the old fart Furion! And look at my abs!
Zeus : I was talking about your attitude man! And you are just as stubborn as he is!
Pudge : So what are you going to do about it!? If you are filing in a complaint, you need to fill up form A,B,K and I---
Zeus : I'm not going to complain about you but instead, I'm offering you a 30,000 gold pieces worth of cheque...
Pudge : Huh???
Mirana (lobby) : (looking at the CCTV...) There goes Zeus again, giving out free money to Pudge...
Furion (lobby) : Damn he's rich! How did he get all the money!?!?!
Mirana (lobby) : Beats me... I think Zeus is handing out 30,000 gold pieces worth of cheque to Pudge.
Furion (lobby) : Haha, I've got 10,000 more gold pieces than him!
Mirana (lobby) : First of all, Pudge's just a worker and you're the boss and you have to use the money to pay off your debts. Therefore, Pudge is freaking rich and you'll die as a noob old man...
Furion (lobby) : NOOOO!!!!!

As Furion was still crying due to his pathetic life, we move on to our celebrities as they are near the main encampment of the Scourge...

Lucifer : This will be as far as you will go!
Rambo : I've heard that line before and that didn't stop us!
Lucifer : This time it will be different because I've brought back-ups with me!
Agent Smith : Greetings Neo. Fancy seeing you here in the world of Dota...
Darth Vader : I find your lack of faith disturbing...
Rambo/Neo : More celebrity guest stars?!?! What the hell...
Lucifer : That's right! Prepare to be wasted!

Agent Smith began to attack Neo while Darth Vader duke it out with Rambo. As for Lucifer, he was watching the fight, ready to 'ks' anyone that is going to die. As seen in the movie Matrix, Neo was obviously better than Agent smith in any way and was kicking the crap out of Agent smith. On the other hand, having the force and powers that Rambo will never have, Darth Vader was tossing Rambo around with his Force Grip...

Agent Smith 1 : Help me man!
Lucifer : You got it! (casted his Scorched Earth around them...)

With their movements being slowed down due to the fiery ground, the Scourge heroes began to beat Neo and Rambo senselessly, Rambo was the first to face death after the assault while Neo got back onto his feet and wasted Agent Smith himself. Having no time to recover, he had to fight with Darth Vader with his injuries while enduring Lucifer's taunt to no end...

Darth Vader : The Force is strong with this one. However, you can never win me because I'm your father!
Lucifer : Yeah! Who's your daddy, Neo!?
Darth Vader : That's not what I meant when I said that...
Neo : Dude, I'm not your son ok? Your son would be Luke Skywalker!
Darth Vader : Denying the truth will only bring you pain and suffer

As Darth Vader casted his lightning force followed by a force throw to Neo, he was unable to fight back and was awaiting for his death. When Darth Vader was about to take out Neo, Rambo was back on his feet for a couple of seconds due to his ultimate, the Last Stand (this skill was never shown in any Rambo movies as he had never died before and yes, this is a cheap rip-off skill from Call of Duty 4...) and proceeded to ripping off Darth Vader's asthma suit... (the device thingy in front of his suit...)

Darth Vader : I... I can't... breath....
Neo : So you do have asthma after all!
Darth Vader : Damn... you all... (Died...)
Announcer : Rambo has pawned Darth Vader's head for 0 gold and killed himself for good!
Neo : (Cracking his knuckles..) So, it's just me and you now...
Lucifer : I guess so. I can kill you right now if I want to but I have matters to attend to. You should be considering yourself lucky to have seen me and live to tell the story. Adios Amigo! (Ran away...)
Neo : Coward! Get your ass back here!!

As Neo chased Lucifer, Lucifer casted Scorched Earth on to the ground again, helping him to make a quick escape while slowing down Neo considerably. Having no choice, Neo left the Doombringer to live and proceeded to face the Lich King. Back to Rikimaru...

Lich King : Haha, wretched fool! You still think that you can stop me?! Look at yourself! You are bleeding everywhere!
Rikimaru : I know I can't win you, but if I could get Akasha out of here, it would be good enough...
Lich King : Dream on, you fool! However, if you could get out of here alive with Akasha, I will stop this manhunt and give Akasha to you permanently!
Rikimaru : You've got to keep your promise!
Lich King : When will I ever lie to anyone? (Paused....) I know I'm a great liar but I will keep my promise this time.
Rikimaru : Then let's get on with this!
Lich King : Die foo---
Neo : I'm here to stop you, Leech King! And also help this satyr to rescue the damsel in distress!
Lich King : This is not how you spell my name damn it! Anyway, it looks like there is another fool that has come to challenge me as well, must be my lucky day!
Rikimaru : Nice distraction! (Began to fart out his smokescreen...)
Lich King : The hell? You do know that I can still see you clearly even if you are in invisibility mode, don't you?
Akasha : Riki. just go and leave me while you still can! You will always be in my heart, just... stop hurting yourself for me... Please...

Just as Akasha finished her sentence, the Lich King began to attack Rikimaru, expecting to finish off Rikimaru with one hit. To the Lich King's surprise, his range attacks was slowed down considerably and Rikimaru could avoid the attacks easily...

Lich King : This can't be happening! You're not suppose to be avoiding my attacks!
Rikimaru : You try all you want but as long the smokescreen is still here, you will never get to hit me alive. Now, if you will excuse me, I'll be taking Akasha back to the Sentinel and live happily ever after... (Carried Akasha and Blinked Striked to Neo...) And remember, you said that you will keep your promise!
Lich King : (Still trying to attack Rikimaru...) Come back here, you big fat cheater! I refused to be cheated like this!
Neo : What do we do now?
Rikimaru : We run off now before my smokescreen dissipates!

And so, out heroes managed to smuggled Akasha out of the Scourge with the Lich King's voice shouting "It's not fair!" for the whole day. Once they were back at the hotel, Furion and Mirana welcomed them back and officially declared Akasha as a member of the Sentinel. Balanar was revived and was pissed off that his own comrades had murdered him for nothing. And of course, Damnok Lannik was thinking that he had killed Rambo and Neo...

What other crazy events that will still be happening to our heroes after this? Will Rikimaru and Akasha be able to maintain the relationship? Don't forget to check out my next chapter then!

Another chapter is done and I'm way too tired to correct any typo, so please notify me if I made any typos and you can post your reviews for this chapter as well
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Old 05-01-2010, 08:42 PM   #37
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 12 is up!

Man, this is just great. No other words needed.
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Old 05-02-2010, 12:23 AM   #38
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 12 is up!

Hehe, nice chapter.
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Old 05-02-2010, 01:17 AM   #39
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Default A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 13 is up!)

Title : A Dota nutty story!
Author : Shippoukitsune (For other forums/ign/blog I'm known as Bluedrake)
Genre : Humor/comedy/Mild violence/ slight romance
Synopsis : When our Dota heroes get bored what will they do? Opening a hotel??? That's just nuts!
Character involved : Most of the Dota heroes and some requested celebrities...

Before starting this chapter, I have to tell you that everything that is being mentioned in this story is totally based on Dota before v6.60 (Cause there are major changes and I don't want people thinking that I've made any unnecessary mistakes...) Now lets get on with the story!

Chapter 13 : The assassination

It has been a few weeks since the rescue operation and nothing much had happened to our heroes. Akasha and Rikimaru 's relationship were getting better than ever and they had been sickening sweet with one another. Furion on the other hand, had trouble with the hotel as it had been a while since anyone visited his hotel...

Furion : Damn it! Where is everyone? We have no customers and we are not making any money!
Mirana : That must be the Lich King's doing. Ever since the 'Rescue Akasha' operation was done, the Lich King had banned his people from visiting your hotel...
Furion : That's bullshit! If that's true, then why is Balanar and Pudge still doing here?
Mirana : Only those two were given special orders to work here and go undercover to spy on us at the same time...
Furion : That is just lame. Pudge and Balanar wouldn't betray us! He's like a part of the family now!
Mirana : Then why is Pudge video taping our conversation right now?
Pudge : Shit, busted! (Hide the video recorder under his torn flesh...) Uh... what's up guys?
Furion : What the heck are you doing?!
Pudge : I was... Uh... just taking a cigarette break. Yeah, cigarette break!
Mirana : Come on, tell us the truth!
Pudge : Fine! The Lich King wanted me to take a full documentation of the hotel and find your weaknesses, so he sent Balanar and I to spy on all the Sentinel staff in the hotel...
Furion : You do know that what you are going against rule #5739 in my rulebook! Thou shall not go undercover for the Lich King and spy on the Sentinel staffs!
Pudge : Right... It's either you increase my monthly salary or I will resume my part time job as a Super Spy!
Mirana : Pudge. if you've been listening to our conversation, you should know that our business is not doing so well!
Furion : And you can never be a Super Spy...
Pudge : So be it! Expect to see me wherever you go from now on! (Returned to the kitchen...)
Mirana : Shouldn't you consider raising their salary?
Furion : Only if I can find some profit from my business.
Mirana : Which means that will never happen...
Furion : Hey!

While the couple discussed about the tactics to improve their hotel business, we move on to Balanar who is sitting at the hotel entrance, looking out for any customers...

Balanar : If it wasn't for that bastard that still owes me 10,000 gold pieces, I would have left this hotel and do something better!
Mortred : It seems like you are having lots of troubles...
Balanar : What do you know about troubles? And you are not supposed to be here!
Mortred : The Lich King had given me orders to terminate Akasha since she had betrayed the Scourge and left the sisterhood...
Balanar : What sisterhood?
Mortred : She was our noble leader of the Sisterhood Scourge Society and now she had left us when we're in serious trouble!
Balanar : So, she was the leader of SSS and you're sent to terminate her because she had quit the clan and also the Scourge?
Mortred : Yes. This will show the other Scourge members of what will happen when some one betrays the Scourge!
Balanar : If you planning on assassinating her, just forget about it...
Mortred : And why should I do that?
Balanar : You will not be able to escape from the wrath of the entire staffin the hotel, especially Rikimaru...
Mortred : This is why I'm here right now, to tell you and Pudge to STAY OUT OF THIS!!!
Balanar : How will this benefits me?
Mortred : By not getting in my way and lose to me humiliatingly...
Balanar : How dare you say that, wretched woman!!
Mortred : I've given you a warning and if you would still go against, I'll have no choice but to terminate you!
Balanar : Enough of trash talk, let's fight!

As Balanar leaped towards the arrogant phantom assassin, Motred avoided his assault and slashed Balanar at the side with her chakram. Screams of pain filled the air blood began to gush out from Balanar. Obviously, Mortred had prepared herself with some serious items...

Balanar : Arrgghhh!!! 2400 damage with just one hit??
Mortred : I tried telling you but you left me with no choice. You were interfering with my mission and therefore you've been targeted for assassination as well...
Balanar : Not again... (Sliced to death...)
Announcer : Mortred has pawned Balanar's head for 0 gold!
Mortred : Anyone that tries to stop me will have the same fate as Balanar!

With that being said, she stepped into the hotel and saw Furion together with Mirana, preparing for the oncoming fight...

Mirana : It's not too late to retreat and save yourself!
Mortred : Me, retreating? Have you been taking dopes last night or did you not see how I killed Balanar?
Furion : very well, if it's a fight that you are looking for, then it is a fight that you will get!

Furion immediately began to cast Sprout to hold Mortred's movement while Mirana shot her Elune's arrow to stun Mortred. Just as the arrow was about to hit her, Mortred Blink Striked out of the trap and was next to Mirana. Giving her almost a fatal blow, Mirana was seriously injured with just only 1 hit...

Furion : How dare you attacked my wife! No one gets away after he/she attacks my wife!
Mortred : Tell me where Akasha is and I might spare both of your pathetic life!
Mirana : My love, don't let her get to Akasha. She's one of us now and we can't let Akasha take her away...
Mortred : wretched fool! (Killed Mirana...)
Announcer : Mortred has pawned Mirana's head for 0 gold and got herself a double kill!
Furion : You will pay for this!

Enraged, Furion began to summon all of the entire hotel staff (including Akasha...) to kill Mortred...

Rikimaru : Mortred! I should have known that you are behind this massacre!
Akasha : Please stop this onslaught! They have nothing to do with this!
Mortred : Ever since you had left the Scourge, anyone that has been associated with you will be my enemy!
Furion : Looks like everyone is here. Wait... Where's Pudge?
Pudge : GRAPPLING HOOK!! (Throw the hook at Furion and pull himself towards the group...)
Rikimaru : Dude, this is not Pudge Wars...
Pudge : Sorry, my bad...
Mortred : Pudge, stay out of this fight or you will die a pathetic death!
Pudge : I do as I please and I'm pleased with what I do!
Mortred : Very well, this will be an unavoidable duel I guess...

Motred began to blur herself as the 4 began to gangbang her. Not being able to see her, Pudge started rotting himself to detect Mortred. Once detected, Mortred instantly blink striked herself behind Furion and gave hima quick and easy death while others watched helplessly...

Announcer : Mortred has pawned Furion's head for 0 gold and got herself a triple kill! Status : Killing spree...
Rikimaru : How did she do that!?!?
Mortred : I'm full of surprises once you get to know me...
Akasha : I've known you for decades in the Scourge and I still didn't know about your surprises...
Mortred : Then you will be surprised to see these! (showed them her inventory...)

In Mortreds inventory, there was a set of Boot of Travel, a Battle Fury, a Satanic, a Butterfly, a Bureze and a Divine Rapier. Our remaining heroes dropped their jaws opened upon seeing the items...

Pudge : How on Earth did you get that much money to buy those items?!?! It will still take a year or more even if you whore with every Scourge members...
Mortred : It's simple, I've used the money from the Sisterhood Scourge Society treasury to buy these items...
Akasha : You can't do that! Buying the items using the SSS's treasury is considered as hero pumping! (an old tactic used in Dota to make only 1 hero stronger)
Mortred : Hero pump or not, it's no longer of your concern since you're no longer associated with the society!
Rikimaru : We will stop you from this madness!!

While they were still talking, Pudge had unknowingly Meat Hooked Mortred, snagging her towards him. Once she was next to Pudge, he wasted no time and started to Dismember her by the collarbone. Rikimaru and Akasha joined in the fight as well and proceeded to beat the crap out of Mortred. While Pudge was still dismembering Mortred, her head was suddenly dislocated from her neck, revealing some disgusting root sprouting out of the headless Mortred...

Akasha : OHMYGOD!!! Someone has put us into the wrong game! This shouldn't be happening!
Rikimaru : This is not Resident Evil 5 damn it!
Pudge : Is that root or tentacles coming out of her neck??

The headless Mortred resumed her mission and began to slice our stunned hero to their doom. Everyone was decapitated and ----- (The following scenes is censored and the author was forced to start again the fighting scene due to his lame imaginations...)

Shippoukitsune : Sorry about the gorish part... Alright everybody! Take two and... ACTION!!

While they were still talking, Pudge had unknowingly Meat Hooked Mortred, snagging her towards him. Once she was next to Pudge, he wasted no time and started to Dismember her by the... Shoulder! Rikimaru began to Backstab Mortred and Akasha started to spam her Shadow Strike, Scream of Pain and Sonicwave towards the Phantom Assassin while she was still unable to move...

Rikimaru : Had enough yet?
Pudge : Or do you want more?
Mortred : This is just my warm-up! SATANIC!

Once activated the item, she leaped towards Pudge and began slicing him. Within 3 hits, her hitpoint was full again while Pudge was near to his death. Rikimaru did what he do best, which was farting out his Smokescreen and try to hold her down. Knowing that Rikimaru would pull off a move like that, Mortred Blink Striked behind Akasha just on time while throwing her Stifling Dagger at Rikimaru to slow him down...

Mortred : All of you are pathetic! I don't even need back-up to kick your asses!
Akasha : Arrogance could only lead you to death...
Rikimaru : Don't look down on us! We will keep on fighting until we could defeat you!

Rikimaru Blink Striked towards Mortred while Pudge began to tank his team while Akasha attack from behind. As hard as Pudge tried to take all the damage, Mortred's Battlefury helped her to gain massive splash attacks and therefore killed Pudge and Rikimaru at the same time, leaving Akasha alone...

Announcer : Mortred has pawned Pudge and Rikimaru's head for 0 gold and got herself a triple kill! Status : Mega kill/Ultra kill
Akasha : Riki! (Snarl angrily at Mortred...) I will have my revenge for this, I swear it!
Mortred : You could even swear to the Lich King for all I care!

Mortred jumped toward Akasha and gave a quick and easy death as well, making the entire staff in Furion's hotel to face death. Just as Mortred killed Akasha, the time had stopped and we now focus to our fallen heroes in the revival sector...

Akasha : Ugh... Where am I now???
Rikimaru : We are in heaven, I think...
Balanar : So, I assume you are here because of Mortred as well...
Furion : Yeah... But this place (Altar of heroes) has been my 10th visit for this month and this place never get tiresome....
Mirana : Stop it! This is not funny!
Pudge : Damn this place! The last time I got here, I had to pay 270 gold pieces as revival tax...

While the heroes were still chatting, a man wearing black suit, carrying a briefcase with an Ice Frog logo had suddenly appeared out of nowhere and confronted them...

Ice Frog : Let's get this straight to the point, I need you all to be revived instantly so that you could have a rematch with Mortred.
Furion : Are you mad? With Mortred's invincible items, we would not be able to beat her at all! And it's much safer to be here if you ask me...
Mirana : Also, we need a lot of gold pieces in order to revive instantly, which some of us don't have... (stare at Furion...)
Ice Frog : Hey, you are just a game character and you can always start all over again once the game is over...
Pudge : Damn you! We're not just a game character! I'm also the coolest and most good looking guy around here!
Rikimaru : I have to agree with Pudge there, except for the second part...
Akasha : And Mortred has been using other people's gold pieces to get the her items, we will just die again even if we were to revive instantly...
Ice Frog : We'll fix that... (Took out an I-Phone and dialed some numbers randomly...) Technician? Could you fix the problem of this game entitled "Dota Allstars"? I think that we have a bug in the game...
Dota heroes : BUG!?!?!

As our heroes yelled in unison, the background began to changed from the hero revival sector to the hotel lobby. Everyone was dumbfounded by the situation and looked at Ice Frog for an explanation. Things became even weirder when they realize the time was frozen and they could see Mortred standing still in the lobby...

Balanar : So, what now?
Ice Frog : All of you will have to stop Mortred and end her killing streak!
Mirana : Why are you helping us? What's in it for you?
ice Frog : There is actually two reasons for me to help you. Firstly, everyone will kill the author for being lame if all of you could actually get killed by Mortred alone. Secondly, the killing event that all of you had experienced just now was a bug...
Dota heroes : BUG!?!?! WTF is that!?!?
Ice Frog : This happens when certain Dota heroes cheats in the game. Item pumping has been forbidden by me a long time ago and Mortred seems to able to do it even with the rules being implemented. So to make things fair, I'm reviving all of you instantly for free...
Furion : But her items...
Ice Frog : Don't worry about that. Since I've found out about this, I've converted all the items back into gold pieces and placed them back into the SSS treasury. And if you excuse me, I'm leaving this place as I have to work on the new Dota map...
Pudge : I still don't understand the 'bug' thing...
Mirana : And he said something about an author screwing our life with his pathetic imagination.
balanar : If I get to see the author, I'll be the first to break his limbs!
Shippoukitsune: ...........

As Ice Frog left the hotel, the time was flowing again, leaving Mortred to face with 6 angry hotel staffs...

Will Mortred be getting out of the hotel alive?? Don't forget to check out the next chapter! If I'm correct, this was where I left my story hanged last time. I will do my best to type them out and post the next chapter ASAP, next chapter will be out in a few hours
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Old 05-02-2010, 01:59 AM   #40
willalwaybenoob
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Default Re: A Dota nutty story (repost) (chapter 13 is up!

Hehe, great chapter!
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