A dota WTF's

[willalwaybenoob]

Hey guys, this is another thread where everybody can post there short stories in, but this one is shorter and less serious than dota drifting scenes.

Here's a short story for you guys to enjoy.

Kardel sat near the lake, enjoying the view and watching out for creeps that he could last-hit.
"Where's that courier? I need mah Ale!"
The sniper sniffed the air and exclaimed.
"Ah! I could smell ale! Get over here, Courier and give me mah drink!"
Instead of the courier appearing, it was Razzle, his blue orc sat beside him and handed him a purple-tinted drink.
"What's this stuff?"
"Relax, Kardel, it's a drink I'm working on, don't drink it now though. Drink it down when you're in danger."
"But I need mah ale!"
"Well, you could test it out by running into the scourge base right now."
"Sure, if I get to have a drink."
The sniper ran past the scourge towers yelling like a maniac. The creeps he ran by were too confused to attack him.
"Where are yah scourge heroes! I got a bone to pick with yuh!"
Leoric, Lion, Akasha, Abbdon and Pudge appeared before Kardel.
"Pathetic dwarf! You think you can defeat us by yourself?"
"No, I'm just here so I can drink my ale."
"What?"
The sniper took out the purple ale and drank it down in one gulp.
"Ah...*hiccup*...much better!"
The scourge generals looked at each other.
"WTF?"
"He's here to drink?"
"Whatever, let's just kill him!"
Leoric charged up and started slashing at him. However, when his sword came in contact with the sniper, he felt like if he was cutting tofu.
"What the hell? It's like if I'm cutting nothing."
The other four scourge heroes stood laughing as red words appeared over the snipers head.
Miss...miss...miss...
Leoric kept on slashing.
"Why can't I hit you?"
Leoric took a close inspection on Kardel, then he suddenly gasped and started screaming "WTF" while he ran back to the fountain.
"What's wrong with him?"
As the Skeletong King was nearly gone, the heroes heard him exclaim.
"His stats! WTF! His stats!"
The other four heroes looked at his stats and all started screaming.
"WTF!"
"THIS IS IMBA!"
They all ran away. Kardel, was slightly confused, he looked down at his stats.
Kardel
Str-1000
int-1000
agi-1000

"Wut? LoL"
The sniper picked up his boomstick and shot each one of the scourge heroes to death. He returned to the sentinels side of the base.
"Ah, Kardel, your back, so how was the potion?"
"See for yourself."
"Ah...interesting, the potion seems to be working properly. Now for the side effect."
"What's that?"
"3...2...1..."
The sniper suddenly slumped to the floor.
"What...the...hell...I'm...so...tired..."
"Ah, I expected that side effect. YOu see the spell effect was that you have 1000 for all your stats for 1 minute than 30 minutes of only 1 for all of your stats."
"WTF, Razzle."

[Kriegskanzler]

Kardel looked at his stats? Hahaha.

[Forceflow]

Lololol. Reality trip aside. This was funny as.

[willalwaybenoob]

Hey guys, wrote short wtf, because I'm bored.

Dota fetish

???: Hello everyone! Welcome to the dota chat show! I'm your host & interviewer, Wabn!
*Take out small paper*
Wabn: Today our topic is....Dota fetishes....we will be asking the dota heroes what their fetish is!
*Gondar walks in*
Wabn: Hey Gondar, why don't you take a seat?
Gondar: Sure...
Wabn: Now Gondar, today we are going to interview on what your fetish is.
Gondar: That's sort of personal.
Wabn: That's why I'm giving you this big bag of gold if you start talking.
Gondar: Money? Oh sure, um...okay then...I guess I have a fetish for rape.
Wabn: Like....?
Gondar: Yeah, you know, I like chasing someone down and then I like pushing her down and force my way in.
Wabn: That's sounds horribly wrong, but that's the exact answer I wanted. Thanks Gondar, you can leave now. Have this gold.
*Gondar takes the bag of gold and walks off*
*Lina enters*
Wabn: Hey, Lina, welcome to the show! Sit down.
Lina: Sure.
Wabn: Okay, Lina, you can have this bag of gold, if you tell us your fetish.
Lina: My fetish? Please, you don't even need to pay me for me to tell you.
Wabn: Okay...what's your fetish?
Lina:I like sleeping with strangers.
Wabn: I see.
Lina: I'm a slut and I get this thrill when I sleep with someone that I don't even know.
Wabn: Okay....here...take this bag and leave.
Lina: Cya.
*Lina takes gold and leave*
Wabn: Up next is....
*Rotund'jere walks in*
Wabn: Ah, Rotund, why don't you come over here and take a seat.
Rotund: What for?
Wabn: THis large bag of gold.
Rotund: Oh, sure then.
Wabn: Now Rotund, tell us your fetish.
Rotund: My fetish? Hm...I guess I have necrophilia.
Wabn: That was predictable, you like seeing people die.
Rotund: Yep.
Wabn: Here take this bag of gold.
Rotund: Thanks.
*Rotund leaves*
*Yunero spins his way in*
Yunero: I am as graceful as the swan, as deadly as the praying mantis, as intellegent as the...
Wabn: Yunero, come here and sit down.
Yunero: Nah, I'll just stand here.
Wabn: Fine. Why don't you tell me your fetish, and I'll give you this bag of gold.
Yunero: You're real creepy, handing people money to know their fetish.
Wabn: This is a talk show!
Yunero: Fine. I guess...my fetish...hm...well I have dark fantasies of sleeping with axe.
Wabn: You're gay?
Yunero: I don't know! Blame yourself! You're the writer!
Wabn: WTF are you talking about! You brokeback!
YUnero: Fuck you then!
*Snatches gold and runs*
*Mangix walks in*
Mangix: Hey there! YOu want some ale?
Wabn: No thanks, Mangix, but what's your fetish? If you tell me I'll give this bag of gold.
Mangix: Me? My deepest fetish is that I like little kids.
Wabn: You're a pedophile?
Mangix: Yep
Wabn:Wait...your're a bear...and your a pedophile...you're pedobear!
Mangix: Drat! How did you know?! Now I must reveal my true identity! ROOOOAAAR!
*Mangix has evolved into pedobear!*

Wban: WTF!
*Show ends abruptedly*

[The Berserker]

WTF

[shippoukitsune]

That is really WTF! Haha

[shippoukitsune]

The scene starts with two reporter sitting behind a counter in the newsrooms of the hero tavern.

Announcer : Live at Azeroth's hero tavern is the only reliable news program around here, this is the Dota Allstars News at 7!!
Furion : Right, hello and welcome to the Dota Allstars News at 7, I'm the lead reporter Furion the Prophet!
Krobelus : And I'm his assistant, Krobelus the Death Prophet
Both : Together, we will make a good fortune teller team for we are the prophets!
Announcer : WTF
Furion : Anyhow, tonight we will be bringing you the breaking news at the location of the Roshan's not-so-secret hideout! Yurnero the Juggernaut right now is having a violent and bloody conflict with his arch rival, Mogul Khan.
Krobelus : Let's go to the action scene with reporter Razor, who is over there right now with live footage!

At Roshan's not-so-secret hideout....

As the camera shows Razor holding a mic, a raging battle between Yurnero and Mogul Khan is going on behind him...

Razor : Thank you Krobelus. As you all can see, these two rivals are on a heaed battle with one another. No one knew the reason why or how the fight started until I asked a bystander who witnessed the entire event so far! (walked towards Azwraith)
Azwraith : (Waved at the camera man) Hey dad! Can you see me?! I'm on TV!!!
Razor : Ahem, I believed that you have something important to share with us tonight? Like how did this fight get started in the first place?
Azwraith : Oh right! You see, the two of them are competing to see who's can deal more damage when they spin...
Razor : Interesting... But why do they have to fight at this dangerous place? Don't they know this is Roshan's not-so-secret hideout? If he come's out now, we are all going to die!
Azwraith : Well, why don't you tell those two instead?
Razor : You heard the bystander folks. Now I will approach to one of them and warn them about the dangerous area that they are fighting!

And so the lightning revenant and cameraman approached towards Mogul Khan who was pushed off dangerously close to Roshan...

Razor : Pardon me Mogul but don't you think that this is a dangerous place to have a fight? I mean, this is Roshan's not-so-seret hideout after all!
Mogul Khan : WTF!? What the hell are you doing here!? Can't you see that I'm in a middle of a figh---

As Mogul Khan was talking to Razor, Yurnero came in charging by using his Omnislash. As the group were standing next to Roshan, Yurnero's random slashing had hit Roshan as well and thus angering him. The group had no chance against Roshan as the legendary rock steam-rolled all of the heroes instantly...

Yurnero : Curse you! You stupid reporte--- (Creamed to death by Roshan...)
Razor : Sorry about tha--- (Stomped to death until he became a set of scrap metal...)
Mogul Khan : I will be bac--- (Stomped to death as well...)
Cameraman : Why am I called a cameraman!?!? Don't you know that I'm Ezal--- (Steamrolled by Roshan...)
Announcer : Yurnero, Razor, Mogul Khan and cameraman has been killed by Roshan!

The screen turned black as the camera was destroyed in the process...

Furion : Ok... Well then, let's move on to our next news then...
Krobelus : Um... We don't have anymore news...
Furion : The hell!?!? Oh well, it's commercial time then!!! The Dota Allstars news at 7 will be able to resume next time after we get more of Azeroth's latest event. I'm Furion
Krobelus : And I'm Krobelus, good night!


(Commercial break)

Movie announcer : Coming this summer....

The preview starts with the cameraman a.k.a. Ezalor was taking his camera around to film the epic battle of Yurnero and Mogul Khan when all of a sudden, all hell break loose and....

SPLAT!!!!!!!!

...He got steamrolled by Roshan. The preview then skipped towards the hospital emergency room where several surgeons were surrounding the half dead camera-man...

Tinker : With our goblin technology, we have the powers to rebuild your body and make you stronger than before!
Squee and Spleen : But this requires a lot gold, I guess we will use his credit card to pay for his own medical fee!!
Razzil : (Took out cameraman's credit card and swipe it...) Total fee will be 1 million gold coins...

As the card was swiped, and the goblins keyed in the numbers, a weird sound was produced by the cash register and everyone looked at Razzil...

Tinker : What seems to be the problem?
Razzil : This man....
Squee and Spleen : What is it??
Razzil : He... He...
Tinker : GO ON, DAMN IT!!!
Razzil : HE ONLY HAS 2 GOLD PIECES IN HIS ACCOUNT!!!
(Dramatic music begins to play in the background...)
Squee and Spleen : Guess there is only one thing we can do then...

The goblins carried the cameraman's body and tossed him back into Roshan's not-so-secret hideout. As the body lay there peacefully, Roshan came out of nowhere and steamrolled his over and over again...

Movie announcer : "The Broke-ass Cameraman That Can't Even Afford 1 million Gold Coins To Save Himself" coming to cinemas near you!!"

The TV screen went static as the commercial break ends...

Lich King : WTF!! This is bullshit! I'm paying 1000 gold coin for subscription fee to watch this shit!?!?

The end...

[willalwaybenoob]

lol, really wtf.

[The Berserker]

lol wtf xD


madness!

[adr12]

Wtf!

[Vatallus]

totally wtf!!

[huskycommander]

Mirana and her fierce tiger run chasing the injured Lion.
Lion now realizes that the only thing he can do is fight back, holding his staff in hand he uses hex on Mirana before she shoots.
Miranas tiger now confused starts looking for its master until it sees a plump chicken right next to it. The tiger licks its lips and crunches the chicken between its teeth and swallows its delicious meal.

Mirana has killed herself for 230 gold! assist:Lion

Lion seeing the score board WTFs and impales himself!

[willalwaybenoob]

Originally Posted by huskycommander

Mirana and her fierce tiger run chasing the injured Lion.
Lion now realizes that the only thing he can do is fight back, holding his staff in hand he uses hex on Mirana before she shoots.
Miranas tiger now confused starts looking for its master until it sees a plump chicken right next to it. The tiger licks its lips and crunches the chicken between its teeth and swallows its delicious meal.

Mirana has killed herself for 230 gold! assist:Lion

Lion seeing the score board WTFs and impales himself!

Nice nice!

[The Berserker]

lol I imagined Lion impaling himself

[The Berserker]

Furion: Son, if you wish to be a part of the Sentinel and hook with Lina.. I mean, redeem your brother, I must test you first.
Magina: Yes, father.
Ezalor: What the fuck is this shit. You brokeback prophet!
Furion: Shut up, wizard! What I mean is I will put him under a test.
Ezalor: Oh..
Furion: Now, where was I? Shit, I forgot (bangs his staff on his head) Ah yes, I remember now. You and Ezalor must defeat your brother and capture him.
Magina: Is there anything else, father?
Furion: That is all. Now, may Elune guide you.

The duo went to the bottom lane. But Ezalor was behind the Anit Mage's back.

Ezalor: TELL ME, MAGINA! WHAT DO YOUR ELVEN EYES SEE?
Everyone on the whole map: WHAT THE FUCK...
Magina: I'm sorry. What was that?
Ezalor: I said, WHAT DO YOUR FUCKING ELVEN EYES SEE?
Magina: Oh..

Moments later...

Furion: Ah, my son! You have retrieved your brother
Terrorblade: I wish to rejoin you, father.
Furion: Very well, my prodigal son. You mother would be pleased. Now, where is Ezalor?
Magina: Oh, he's fine. We talked with that old wizard and... *flashed a photo to his father*
Furion: You... you...
Terrorblade: We gave him buttsecks.
Furion: But, why my sons?
Magina: (talked fast) We were walking on the bottom lane then he yelled to me WHAT MY ELVEN EYES SEE and then Terror here approached us and we tied him to a tree and that photo was the end of it.
Furion: Who took this photo!?
Terror and Magina: Mom, of course.
Furion: WHAT THE FUCK! FUCK! FFFFUUUUUUUUUU

Furion's brain cells has exploded and has killed himself! Assist: Suprise buttsecks

( I suck at Comedy)

[huskycommander]

The sentinel are OWNING!

Furion destroyed a tower for 450 gold!

Lina Inverse destroyed a tower for 450 gold!

"damn this game is bias! sentinel always win" Lion shouted

"wait theres one surefire way to win this!" Axe shouted back

Axe then went to the item shop and bought a quelling blade.

Blood seeker looked at him puzzled

"what the hell are you gonna do with that?!" Lion angrily said

Axe ignored him and ran straight to the sentinel base

"Are you suicidal!!!" lich typed furiously

Axe now closing in to the world tree left clicked the logo of his quelling blade and selected the world tree.

The scourged have destroyed the world tree!

Lich:"...."

Lion:"...."

BloodSeeker:"...."

Furion: "damnit this games bias!!!"

Lina Inverse: (out of confusion ate Furin...)

[The Berserker]

^ haha. I always wondered if that would work. Imma try it out.

[Nicolback]

There are two heroes
Krobelus and Tiny

They look for items in the shop when Tiny said:
T: Hey Krob, get this ghost staff, cause you need to look like a real ghost, BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
K: Hey Tiny, check this staff.
T: What is it? What does it do?
K: I dunno, just try it.

*20 mins later, Tiny is still messing around with the staff trying to wonder wtf does it do*

G (ghoul) and N (N'aix) are feasting on a body when they saw a glimpse of Tiny holding a weird looking staff
N: Grrroolll arrr Rrrrriiiiinnnyyyy
G: Grrrrr

Then suddenly out of the shadows, a boulder comes toward them with super speed.

N: Grrararrararar (gets flattened)
G: (flattened too)

Nai'x still is strong enough to see what is happened and saw the boulder move, and fainted.

Just then Tiny, noticed bones all over his rocky body.

[Vatallus]

Here's my DotA wtf. i hope you guys like it.

At the twilight tavern cr, three girls was doing there make-up: Lina, Traxex and Alleria. The three would do their make-up at the bathroom and after putting on their lipstick, the spoiled brats would press their lips into the mirror, leaving a lot of smudges and giving the janitor Mangix trouble cleaning it up.

Mangix: Darn these girls! I'll teach them a lesson.

The day after was the same and so was the next day so he decides to tell Mirana and Furion about it.

Furion: Alright, we'll talk to those girls.

Furion then summons the three girls into the bathroom.

Furion: Explain this to me. Why are you doing this? Don't you know Mangix is having trouble cleaning it up?

The girls just kept silent. Furion then asks Mangix to show how he cleans the mirror. Mangix obliges, picks up a mop and dips it to an adjacent toilet bowl and wipes the mirror with it.

All the girls including Furion faints.

[Fire525]

Lol. This is based on a real life story isn't it?