[STR-NEU] Toggtar, Fel Crawler

[Ryugo]

Fel Crawler
Toggtar

Background Story: When Medivh let the orcs pass to our world, Toggtar followed Grom Hellscream, his general. As Hellscream and his orcs were corrupted, Toggtar gone crazy, leaving all that he once called home. Now, he fight until reach the end of his pain massacring people. For passing so many years living alone in caverns he developed abilities that destroy the ground under enemies' feet. He gained the ability to dig under the ground granting him the force of a rock, and his senses are now able to see things beyond the range of a normal eye. But so many years alone have left scars in him, so every time he uses his abilities he release a powerful shock around him, leaving a echo of his pain and existance.

Strength - 22 + [1.8]
Agility - 14 + [1.8]
Intelligence - 16 + [1]

Affiliation:	Neutral
Damage:	42-58
Armor:	5
Movespeed:	300
Starting HP/MP:	568/208
Attack Range:	128

Palisade - (Active, Point-Target, Affects Enemy Units and Heroes)

____________________

Using his knowledge about the caverns across the battlefield, Toggtar destroys the ground under enemies’ feet, causing them to be stunned. Further the target, greater the stun.

__	____.	________.	_______.	___.	_______.	__________________________.
	Mana	Cooldown	C. Range	AoE	Duration	Effects
1	100	20 sec	800	N/A	N/A	Stuns enemies in a line based on the distance between target and caster. 0.5 MIN and 2 MAX sec stun. Deals 25 DMG.
2	100	16 sec	800	N/A	N/A	Stuns enemies in a line based on the distance between target and caster. 0.5 MIN and 2 MAX sec stun. Deals 50 DMG.
3	100	12 sec	800	N/A	N/A	Stuns enemies in a line based on the distance between target and caster. 0.5 MIN and 2.5 MAX sec stun. Deals 75 DMG.
4	100	8 sec	800	N/A	N/A	Stuns enemies in a line based on the distance between target and caster. 0.5 MIN and 2.5 MAX sec stun. Deals 100 DMG.

Notes:

• Damage type is magical.

• The stun reaches its maximum duration at 800, even with Crawler’s Sight enabled.

Crawl and Crust - (Active, Point-Target, Affects Self)

____________________

Moves to a target location, making his way under the ground. When Toggtar comes to surface, his armor is strengthened by the rocks that crusted all the way.

__	____.	________.	_______.	___.	_______.	__________________________.
	Mana	Cooldown	C. Range	AoE	Duration	Effects
1	90	30 sec	300	N/A	4 sec	Moves to a target location and increases armor by 4. Loses 1 armor per second.
2	90	22 sec	400	N/A	4 sec	Moves to a target location and increases armor by 8. Loses 2 armor per second.
3	90	14 sec	500	N/A	4 sec	Moves to a target location and increases armor by 12. Loses 3 armor per second.
4	90	6 sec	600	N/A	4 sec	Moves to a target location and increases armor by 16. Loses 4 armor per second.

Crawler’s Sight - (Passive, Affects Self)

____________________

After living too many years under the ground, the senses of Toggtar got stronger, allowing him to sense even the furthest foe and improving his abilities.

__	____.	________.	_______.	___.	_______.	__________________________.
	Mana	Cooldown	C. Range	AoE	Duration	Effects
1	N/A	N/A	N/A	N/A	N/A	Increases sight range by 100. Improves Skills’ cast range by 100.
2	N/A	N/A	N/A	N/A	N/A	Increases sight range by 200. Improves Skills’ cast range by 200.
3	N/A	N/A	N/A	N/A	N/A	Increases sight range by 300. Improves Skills’ cast range by 300.
4	N/A	N/A	N/A	N/A	N/A	Increases sight range by 400. Improves Skills’ cast range by 400.

Notes:

• Improves cast range of “Palisade” and “Crawl and Crust”.

• At day, his total sight range will be 1900/2000/2100/2200. At night, it will be 900/1000/1100/1200.

Echoes - (Passive, Affects Enemy Units and Heroes)

____________________

The echoes that Toggtar felt in his prison for too many years have synchronized with the existence of this warrior. Now, every time he casts a spell, the echoes within him will be felt by his foes by the worst way.

__	____.	________.	_______.	___.	_______.	__________________________.
	Mana	Cooldown	C. Range	AoE	Duration	Effects
1	N/A	N/A	N/A	250	3 sec	Deals 75 DMG around caster and point target every time Toggtar casts a spell. Also slows by 15%.
2	N/A	N/A	N/A	250	4.5 sec	Deals 100 DMG around caster and point target every time Toggtar casts a spell. Also slows by 15%.
3	N/A	N/A	N/A	250	6 sec	Deals 150 DMG around caster and point target every time Toggtar casts a spell. Also slows by 15%.

Notes:

• Damage is magical.

• Units can be hit twice, but got no doubled slow.

[SpiderPig]

t-up , nice unique hero

[Kaligar]

T-up, looks cool and unique.
just few things... add night vision range. and think about it carefully. if you chose stardard vision you might have more cast range than vision range at nights. not sure if this is a big deal or not, but you should consider it. [EDIT: NVM i've just read a little more carefully the passive skill; but still, you should add day/night vision range]
same with having more cast range than efect range for the stun. you can cast it at 1200 range having the passive skill, but the effect area is 800 (or did i miss something?)

once again, i like the idea. and i know its in a beta/whatsoever stage

[Ryugo]

Originally Posted by Kaligar

T-up, looks cool and unique.
just few things... add night vision range. and think about it carefully. if you chose stardard vision you might have more cast range than vision range at nights. not sure if this is a big deal or not, but you should consider it. [EDIT: NVM i've just read a little more carefully the passive skill; but still, you should add day/night vision range]
A good reminder. Thanks for the tip.
Edit: Thank you, at night, his sight range would be 1100, but his cast range 1200. I will increase sight range bonus a little.

same with having more cast range than efect range for the stun. you can cast it at 1200 range having the passive skill, but the effect area is 800 (or did i miss something?)
I don't know if you missed something but I will explain carefully.
You can cast from 1200 range, but the stun will reach max duration when it reaches 800 distance between the caster and the target. Reaching 700 units, will give ~4 seconds stun. Reaching 800 units will always give a 4.5 seconds stun. Reaching 900 units, will still give 4.5 seconds stun.


once again, i like the idea. and i know its in a beta/whatsoever stage

Have you got something wrong?

[Lotus V Eater]

1st spell: duration (1 sec) is waht for..you edi have the random duration for the stun right? 0.5 - 4.5 sec...zzz make it a bit low damage & low max duration for the stun, but spammable. maybe like max of 100 damage, max of 2 sec stun. and have cd around 8-10 sec-ish?

2nd spell: wowowow reduce the duration of the armor buff...maybe like 3-5 sec only so that you can't abuse this skill. is it the max distance to be teleported is same with the casting range? i guess not (maybe u forgot to add that! XD...

3rd spell: make it like increase sight on day = ? /night = ?. good job on the casting range....

ultimate: how long does the slow last? state the duration please!!! around the caster is within what AOE? state please! i dont see any synergy except for your 2nd skill. if you make your 1st skill spammable, just like i said, your ulti will be good! btw i dont like the slow here...maybe you can be a lil bit original, by creating a new debuff, instead of using the oldie one....but the slow kinda synergize well too...XD

overall: this hero still need something to be improved!

p/s: you owe me bad!

[Ryugo]

Originally Posted by Pink_Lotus

1st spell: duration (1 sec) is waht for..you edi have the random duration for the stun right? 0.5 - 4.5 sec...zzz make it a bit low damage & low max duration for the stun, but spammable. maybe like max of 100 damage, max of 2 sec stun. and have cd around 8-10 sec-ish?
The duration is from my bad edited template. Spammable? Hm... I was just thinking to use it as a initiator skill. But, if I reduced the cooldown, it would be better to synergyse with ultimate. I think I will do it.

2nd spell: wowowow reduce the duration of the armor buff...maybe like 3-5 sec only so that you can't abuse this skill. is it the max distance to be teleported is same with the casting range? i guess not (maybe u forgot to add that! XD...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah... The casting range is the teleport distance. Or am I not getting something?

3rd spell: make it like increase sight on day = ? /night = ?. good job on the casting range....
I already did something like that. See the notes.

ultimate: how long does the slow last? state the duration please!!! around the caster is within what AOE? state please! i dont see any synergy except for your 2nd skill. if you make your 1st skill spammable, just like i said, your ulti will be good! btw i dont like the slow here...maybe you can be a lil bit original, by creating a new debuff, instead of using the oldie one....but the slow kinda synergize well too...XD
I think it's because he was my second hero idea to appear so many errors. >.<

overall: this hero still need something to be improved!
Certainly.

p/s: you owe me bad!
Hey, it's not like you can get my money.

Total rework coming!

[Kaligar]

so, is 1200 the max range of the stun? is it a projectile-like skill or something like impale? if its like impale, 1200 range might be too much. if its a projectile then it doesn't need to be capped i guess (if it's not dodgeable).
Pink_Lotus is right about the blink buff too long. you could stack it and tower dive a lot more. maybe 3-5 secs it's best. or maybe making it to replace the old counter (when you use it before the buff runs out), so instead of stacking you could have a "perma" armor bonus (aslong as you can target something to blink and you have mp). i think the cast range being the same as max range to be ported is ok. 1000 units is the same as mortred's blink at level 4. but well, it's the max for a target-needing blink

[Ryugo]

Originally Posted by Kaligar

so, is 1200 the max range of the stun? is it a projectile-like skill or something like impale? if its like impale, 1200 range might be too much. if its a projectile then it doesn't need to be capped i guess (if it's not dodgeable).
I was thinking to make it like impale, but only the stun is great.

Pink_Lotus is right about the blink buff too long. you could stack it and tower dive a lot more. maybe 3-5 secs it's best. or maybe making it to replace the old counter (when you use it before the buff runs out), so instead of stacking you could have a "perma" armor bonus (aslong as you can target something to blink and you have mp). i think the cast range being the same as max range to be ported is ok. 1000 units is the same as mortred's blink at level 4. but well, it's the max for a target-needing blink
Remember that it's a point-target blink (like Akasha/Magina's). Armor bonus duration reduced!

Some remakes done.

[Shadow Fury]

Firstly...isn't a Palisade a structure? Also, it's rather overpowered; an AoE stun that can reach upto 4.5 seconds is insane. I'd say 3 seconds stun maximum.

Crawl and Encrost, I'd say make him lose one armor every second. Also, as I can see, he is a defensive tank. Why don't you buff it so he gets rejuvenated and healed by the soil, or gets a small HP or STR bonus too? You can balance that by nerfing movespeed for the duration [weight of the rocks] I like the concept, makes a good tank.

Crawler's Sight has good synergy but...well... leaves something to be desired. This hero has two actives and two passives which help the actives. Compare this to Raigor. Raigor has 3 actives and a passive which activates on using spells.

Ultimate, again is too bland. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying that the hero lacks gameplay aspects by having two passives. Perhaps you might want to give some interesting active subskill or side effect to these passives?

[Kaligar]

^ i guess i can't read shit today... i've read "moves to a target unit's location" my bad. i'll check the improvements tomorrow, or whenever i'm not too tired like now. i don't want to bother you with more miss-read issues XD

[Ryugo]

Oh, God talked to me.

Originally Posted by The Lord God

Firstly...isn't a Palisade a structure? Also, it's rather overpowered; an AoE stun that can reach upto 4.5 seconds is insane. I'd say 3 seconds stun maximum.
Names can be changed. Hmm. I made a test right now in the warcraft world editor. 4.5 sec for just 800 units is too high... Okay, I will lower it.

Crawl and Encrost, I'd say make him lose one armor every second. Also, as I can see, he is a defensive tank. Why don't you buff it so he gets rejuvenated and healed by the soil, or gets a small HP or STR bonus too? You can balance that by nerfing movespeed for the duration [weight of the rocks] I like the concept, makes a good tank.
Bonus STR doesn't make too much sense for me, but I came up with the same idea of nerf before. So, I can add some effect.

Crawler's Sight has good synergy but...well... leaves something to be desired. This hero has two actives and two passives which help the actives. Compare this to Raigor. Raigor has 3 actives and a passive which activates on using spells.
Are you saying this because both passives help the actives? (I would just say something against if one was to give slow and the other to give damage. In that case, I think it's better to make both in one skill). I think I don't got something.

Ultimate, again is too bland. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying that the hero lacks gameplay aspects by having two passives. Perhaps you might want to give some interesting active subskill or side effect to these passives?I have no other ideas. If you can give me less bland ideas, perhaps I come up with something.

Wait. Let me see if I understood everything.
You think this hero is bad because both passives help him in the chasing hour and you think that he needs something more. If it's that, I will put it on the notes.

EDIT: If it's to think about an active subskill based on third skill, then, I have an idea of giving unobstructed sight for a few seconds.

[Ryugo]

Originally Posted by Kaligar

^ i guess i can't read shit today... i've read "moves to a target unit's location" my bad. i'll check the improvements tomorrow, or whenever i'm not too tired like now. i don't want to bother you with more miss-read issues XD

Haha. Okay.

[ChaoS_ThronE]

Palisade - Impale

Crawl and Encrost - Slow Timewalk with bonus, i'd say this is useless spell, You want to escape with this? You are slowed. You want to chase with this? You are slowed. You want to gank? Short Cast Range.

Crawler’s Sight - This is what we call "forced" synergy? Ah fine... Nerf the cast range thingy

Ulti - Aftershock 2nd version, no stun but slow, slow can be higher i think, since if you use your crawling spell, you are slowed more (20%), while enemy only lose max at 15%

[Lotus V Eater]

no no no......slow is not good in your 2nd skill...dude, what r u thinking...the slow will ruin the synergy...

[Nizaris]

Skill 1 is not so original, and many heroes have the same thing.

Skill 2 is unique

I feel like he is similar with Butcher. Isn't it?

[Lotus V Eater]

^^ not even close!

[Ryugo]

Okay, no slow.
I would change the ultimate later, increasing the slow, but, in the end, that doesn't means difference.

Originally Posted by Nizaris

Skill 1 is not so original, and many heroes have the same thing.

Skill 2 is unique

I feel like he is similar with Butcher. Isn't it?

1st Skill can be thought like the weakest impale, but the more useful, because of its large cast range.

2nd Skill is unique... err... Some people could say that its only a blink with bonus armor... but it's okay.

Pudge? O.o

Originally Posted by ChaoS_ThronE

Palisade - Impale
Oh rly?

Crawl and Encrost - Slow Timewalk with bonus, i'd say this is useless spell, You want to escape with this? You are slowed. You want to chase with this? You are slowed. You want to gank? Short Cast Range.
No more slow. Ok. You want to gank? Put third skill.

Crawler’s Sight - This is what we call "forced" synergy? Ah fine... Nerf the cast range thingy
I think rather think that it's what forces synergy. So you say that I can't gank?

Ulti - Aftershock 2nd version, no stun but slow, slow can be higher i think, since if you use your crawling spell, you are slowed more (20%), while enemy only lose max at 15%
The unique similarity with Aftershock is that it's triggered by casting spells.

That's it. I wanted you to re-do your review since I removed the slow.

[ChaoS_ThronE]

That's it. I wanted you to re-do your review since I removed the slow.

Blergh, I dont do commentary twice :P
Fine, no slow is much much much much better.
7.25/10

[Nizaris]

Originally Posted by Ryugo

Pudge? O.o

Yeah, his gameplay will be like Pudge.

I hate Pudge, the most OP hero in DotA.

[Punj,Love Hater]

Originally Posted by Pink_Lotus

^^ not even close!

I agree. I guess he meant ES since this hero is a bit close to him.