[RESULTS] Epics and Legends Writing Battle V

[-AvA-]

Reminder :

For those contestants screaming for a review, be patience. You will be given a review by each of the judges at the time when the results are given out.

I hate being trapped in this box, but in a day's time I will be freed from my prison and cause untold pain to those who did not submit their entries! Nah, I was just joking...or was I?

[Dzin-Zakk]

^ You mean you will break those nqb walls? hehe

The seal is weakening! Quick, my fellow rivals, your entry is the only way to escape the agony.

[Luckyisthename]

Death the Kidd God of Order, can you explain how your entry breaks the fourth wall?

[Craxuan]

He broke the fourth wall by begging us, the viewers, to reincarnate his character as the wind. So the will is meant for us.

[Luckyisthename]

I want to hear what he has to say.

[Craxuan]

Er, just stating my opinion. I meant no offense or anything.

[Fate Trap]

I ran through wikipedia and understood that I can break the 4th wall by talking to the readers and refer to "you!" Did I understand correctly?

[Luckyisthename]

Allright, just confirming your intentions.

[Fate Trap]

What do you mean by my "intentions"?

[Luckyisthename]

Confirming who "you" is in your passage.

[Kriegskanzler]

1 more day till end of competition!

[-T-tHeOnE-_-]

^Actually about 4 hours and 15 minutes until the deadline here.

[Luckyisthename]

And as the sunset approaches, the lambs silence their calls for they knew that the four Horsemen would be making their way very soon...

[PuЪLiㄷEиəℳy#1]

Worry not, saviors shall come to ward off the Blackest Night.

[tanan]

Hello everyone! I think I should start my reviews now so without further ado...

Let's get it on!

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Krieg Kanzler's Prisoners of the Mind

Foreshadowing - I don't know if this is intentional or not but since I always look at tropes whenever I read a story, I have developed a knack of picking up things that are very subtle but are actually relevant to the plot for example:

He looked at the single incandescent bulb hung in the middle of the ceiling, and stared at it as it swung slowly back and forth, casting irregularly-shaped shadows on the four gray ominous walls of the room.

Gentlemen! I present to you the theme for this competition!

BREAKING THE FOUR GRAY OMINOUS WALLS!

It only had bare walls that seemed to have been waiting patiently for them.

Yes Nathan we the walls have been waiting for you patiently. Very... Extremely... Patiently...

“I have a bad feeling about these walls,”

Wall: I have a bad feeling about these humans...

And as Nathan’s eyes slowly closed, he noticed he couldn’t find Peter, though he could swear he heard a voice that came from one of the three white-clad personnel looking at him who said, “He was close to the truth, but not close enough.”

Tom Cruise was right! Psychology is evil! EVIL!

ItsProbablyNothing - Oh boy this trope alway cracks me up. Its too common and so much taken for granted that many an Evil Overlord hast failed EPICLY due to a mook thinking that the sudden clutter on the ventilation shaft was probably nothing. ^_^

A lone guard emerged from the corner. This sent Nathan’s heart pounding like hell. He felt it so strong he feared his heartbeat might give their location away. But this did not happen. The guard, wearing a white-colored armor, passed by nonchalantly, oblivious to the two fugitives kneeling just right beside him.

So the guard didn't blurt out "it's probably nothing" but still he's a guard and he should be very attentive to his surroundings when he is GUARDING.

Oh and btw, where are the security cameras?

GutFeeling

“I have a bad feeling about these walls,”

Obi Wan: I've got a bad feeling about this master...

Quai Gon: Your feelings serves you well my young padawan... ^_^

Obi Wan: What the hell does that suppose to mean?

TheWallsHaveEyes - AND HOW!

BlatantItemPlacement

“Do you have any powdery material with you?” Peter asked. Nathan merely looked at his friend with squinted eyes that said “How in the world am I supposed to have that with me at this time?!”

But Peter was not to be denied. He figured if luck had brought them this far, then luck would bring this success streak into completion. He looked around, then to the floor, where he found a mound of dirt lying in a corner. Peter looked closer at this mound, finding a few termites squirming around it. “This should do just fine,” Peter muttered.

Oh come on! That's just plain blatant! I mean a termite mound that just happens to be on that convenient place? It's just like the medikits and guns and ammos and ninja swords found almost conveniently on convenient places in Left 4 Dead 2!

Hey idiot it's a JUSTIFIED TROPE!

How the heck do you justify that?!

It was all just a dream...

Oh...

Or Was It?

<Insert Twilight Music here>

LaserHallway - AND HOW!

AppliedPhlebotinum -

The termite mound

Excuse me?

Yeah apparently sand can actually detect laser beams even termites!

But that's ridiculous!

No. It's justified.

TheReveal

Nathan’s voice was up an octave again, and he uttered angrily whilst he shook his head, “Your lies don’t fool me! I will get out of here and I will tell the whole world of your crimes! How can you keep the world unaware of the fact that all of us are mere pawns? That we are mere characters in a story designed to amuse t-them who read us, who watch us? People need to know this, so they can also be free!”

Gentlemen, what we have here is a good example of the TrumanShowPlot

FridgeLogic - Why give psychological intriguing book to a mental patient?

Because it's justified... |..| (-__-) |..|

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Good job Krieg! Your entry was the first entry that I've read and yes I spent an hour writing this review and I'm exhausted!

[Kriegskanzler]

Thanks for the review, tanan! It was well-appreciated.

And yes, the Foreshadowing was intentional.

Again, my sincerest thanks.

[Dzin-Zakk]

lol his entry was the first one after all))

[tanan]

Hello ForceFlow, here is my review for your story.

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Redemption written by Forceflow

Foreshadowing

Some have told me that we are all judged when we die. Is that what this is? Have I died? Are you here to judge me?

I don't know about judging you when you die but I am absolutely going to judge your entry.

YouCantfightFate
And
UnwittingPawn

I never wanted any of this. Really, I didn’t. You must believe me. I’ve been a puppet, ever since the beginning. I think I can see everything clearly here. The past. The future. It has already been written hasn’t it? We are but pawns in a grander design—your design. Am I wrong? Answer me!

The hell is wrong with you boy?! I aint done nothin to you!

ArtificialHuman

How could you have been so unkind! We may not belong in your reality. But that does not mean we cannot feel pain. That does not mean we do not feel sorrow. That does not mean our lives are worthless!

I told you I don't know nothin!

^
Oh btw if your wondering why he's artificial well thats because he's just a fiction and not really human. (-_-)

SamusIsAGirl

I was born into the legion. Born! Bred more like. Designed. A weapon. A succubus. I was raised amongst my kind. Brought up by treachery and deceit, living under only two laws—service to the Legion and survival of the fittest.

DAAAAAMMMMMNNNNN!!!!

Ahahaha I really thought the one who was saying all of this before I hit that line was that it was a man but then BOOM! She was actually a succubus!

MindScrew - This story is a mind screw due to fact that we are inside the mind of a dying succubus. We see it as just as some random incoherent blabbering and accusations but that is not the point here. It's more of a point that Akasha somehow had this feeling that she was nothing more but an illusion and everything was already fated even her death.

Scary stuff eh?

FinalSpeech - Averted. Akasha was already dead when she had that last speech. T_T

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I like your story friend Force because it is short and yes you kind of hit a fair mark on your sub theme. However I do believe you could have done more on this because it is kind of plain compared to other entries.

Anyways it is still a good job and a good read! Good luck to you and to everyone!

[tanan]

To God Of Death:

Your entry is unique because it is a poem entry and yes uniqueness must be rewarded in its own way. However forgive me for I must admit poetry is not my specialty and I feel that I would not be able to do justice to your entry if I am unable to understand its quality.

That is why I request to you to please send a summary, a sort of guideline as to how I should rate your entry.

Thank you.

[tanan]

Hello Mr. The One, here is my entry to your rev- err I mean my review to your entry.

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Realising the Truth written by -T-tHeOnE-_-

MythBusters - I know this is not a trope but hell do I need their expertise to confirm if someone could actually do any form of archery while being prone! (>_<)

Correct me if I'm wrong and in the spirit of the scientific facts, I shall revise my views if evidence could point out to me that one could use a bow while lying down flat on his stomach.

From what I've read, to fire an arrow from a bow, there is a technique for that according to wikipedia and .

To shoot an arrow, an archer first assumes the correct stance. The body should be perpendicular to the target and the shooting line, with the feet placed shoulder-width apart.

...

In proper form, the archer stands erect, forming a 'T'. The archer's lower trapezius muscles are used to pull the arrow to the anchor point. Some bows will be equipped with a mechanical device, called a clicker, which produces a clicking sound when the archer reaches the correct draw length.

A typical archery pose

A typical hot Archer

TheArcher - Come on guess who?


ItIsNotYourTime

Mirana: BUT THAT's IMPOSSIBLE?! HOW COULD YOU BE STILL ALIVE?!

Lich: Uh tehnically I'm already dead my dear -err I mean I'm an undead which means I'm not totally dead but I'm not totally alive either. Also I still have my contract with Blizzrd and its says there I still have 2 years before it expires and I need to renew it so yeah. Tht explains why I'm still here... (-_-)

DeusExMa
china

Kel'thuzad fired a bolt of ice at the surprised Mirana, but the fast-moving projectile was suddenly blocked by a treant who jumped in its way, absorbing the damage, leaving the priestess of the moon unharmed.

Yeah its totally justified so yeah, it is believable.

IShallTauntYou

"Is that all you got, demon?" Furion mocked.
"No, I'm just warming up." Kel'thuzad replied.

Furion: <Monopoly style hat, monopoly style monocle, monopoly style moustache>

I say your brash nature offends me, Mr. Thuzad! I shall soon put an end to your impertinence by directing my powers in taunting you!

Is that all you got, demon?

Kel: <Just with monopoly style moustache and “nothing” else>

What an obnoxious insult! I shall reply to that slander with a witty remark and an obvious pun to my sub-zero motif!

No, I'm just warming up!


Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him? - Television Tropes & Idioms

"It is not in my desires to kill you now, besides, I have taken one life already. Be thankful that I have spared your pathetic life, as I might be not as friendly the next we might happen to meet."

Lich: Kill her now? Why that is the most absurd and pathertic thing I have ever heard of!

TheComputerIsACheatingBastard - Not really the computer but some other guy.

Well folks what lesson do we have learn from here? Always play only official dota maps.

WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs - I'm starting to think that maybe this competition promotes stuff other than writing.

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So again we have another guy to be sent to the psychiatric ward ahahahaha! Anyways I like how the 2-1 fight went it was really fast and direct but that line with Mirana trying to fire an arrow from her bow while lying down is just mind boggling that I do not think that is possible and that really gave you minus points IMO.

Well anyways thanks for being a contestant and rest assured I also had a fun read with your entry.