Re: Love [quotes] and DotA [quotes]
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail, when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him.
Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was.
The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The man considered her proposition for a moment, but then decided that he could rape her and save himself a hundred bucks. So he grabbed the woman by the throat and carried her outside to his pickup and threw her on top of some 2x4's in the back.
"Take those god damn clothes off you skeezy ass ho" said the man, saliva dripping from his mouth like a rabid dog. The young woman took too god damn long so the man ripped her shit off and quickly slipped his dong into her ass.
To make a long story short, the young woman has an ass so loose it could hold a baseball; she was a true gutter slut. The man was left with no choice but to donkey punch the young woman so many times she was going in and out of consciousness, and he still barely felt it.
After awhile, the man saw bloody red warts forming on his dick which came with a terrible burning. A couple minutes later the pain had become too much to handle and it was only getting worse. The man fell backwards out of the pickup and smashed his head on the parking lot which cracked his skull open and his brains dripped out and goozed across the pavement.
"Owned by gonorrhea faggot" the woman shouted as she drove off with her new car.