A bug's life

[kanzakill]

A day in life

6:00 day
I woke up just to see a bunch of ghouls were licking my carapace. Swift like a ... bug, I put some holes in their head, hoping that will make them less foolish. Suddenly, the old geezer called for me. Well, I went to see him because I would do anything to get away from those gay bastards. On the way there, I luckily got Blacky to wipe out the saliva on my carapace, thanks to her web. She was just lovely and lively as usual, and I swear I saw her winking at me when I was leaving ... She should spend more time to treat our kids well rather than doing that. But oh well, she's my one and only eight-legged queen. Who wouldn't love her? Right? R-I-G-H-T?

6:15 day
Finally I got to the old geezer's tower. Damn it, why the bloody ghoul did he need to build his throne on a damn high tower? The icy floor hurt my little legs a lot. *Sigh* Anyway I can't complain about it, it's business and my damned frozen master had some really weird fetishes. Lich - one of his fetish - stood there and looked at me (or so I thought) when I was passing by. I don't know much about that guy but I heard he kills ghouls, good enough to be my best friend. Surprisingly enough, he told me "Hey the way up there is a little cool, let me help you!". Damn that idiot, he casted Frost Armor on me thinking I needed it. He was smiling (or crying in happiness? can't tell) while I was chilling to my bone. "You are lucky buggy dude, I can't even feel a little cool even when I tried to put some ice cubes into my eye holes *sob*", then he ran away while crying out ice crystal like a little spider. I continued my little journey caring about my poor legs more than that guy's picky-go-ugly talk. Oh well, should I have brought Lucifer with me, things wouldn't have been like that. I went on my way to the tower's top, hoping the old geezer wouldn't do something sillier as silly as his silly army. Winds were going through my wings while I was trying to think about my hot lady in order to fight against the cold. *hoof* *hood* Achoo *more sneezing* Damn the sillaholy constructors!

[kanzakill]

6:40 day
After having a big pain going up the stairs, I finally got to the old geezer. And holy ... there were big posters of many gals on the walls: a blond chick holding an icy staff (must be his dream), another blond chick with a bow (he must like yellow thingies a lot), ... There were many more gals but those two were the one with the biggest size. I was dumbfounded, staring at them while waiting for him. The next second, I felt his angry eyes behind my back. Terrified, I turned back to see what was he like. His face was as red as Lucifer and ... wha, he was wearing nothing but undies. In a split second, I ask myself about a thousand times the question :"Is this the master that I chose to go after? If yes then why the hell is he wearing things like Akasha's and Mortred's?". Then I collapsed due to the frustration. God! Save our king!

[Lilith Aensland]

lol...
NA?

[kanzakill]

Originally Posted by Scorched_Earth

lol...
NA?

Yes

7:01 day
"Wakey wakey", the old geezer's voice rose me up from the dark pit (which smelt like when you stand behind Azgalor *sigh*) that he pushed me into. Still terrified from what I saw before, I stepped back looking like Blacky in our first night. Man, she used to be such a adorable girl ... But wait, the problem was my master, not her! He stood there with a face as emotional as Harbringer's and eyes as sparkling as the ones of granny Mercurial. Slowly, he was getting near to me, step by step. He did it just like how I always goes Vendetta on my enemies (with lower speed of course)! I could feel his foul icy breath when he stood right in front of me. He looked at me in the ... thighs and so did I. I could see tears in his eyes when he said: "Tell this to anyone and you'll be doomed".

[kanzakill]

7:03 day
"Those gals are girls in Arthas' dream. Lately that punk has been interested in taking care of his baby face more than training his ghouls" said the old geezer. Then I knew why those gay ghouls had followed me, must be because I had six legs. "I need you to capture both girls to satisfy Arthas so that punk could concentrate on skinning more than skinnies!". Tch, kids these days. Can't they just launch a love assault on their ladies? "And about the humiliating thing that you saw earlier, that was ..." I could hear a passionate shriek coming out from his throat "... because I thought I could attract him more than those gals ..." I pressed my brain as much as I could to find an excuse to leave. As soon as I left that damned tower, I started to think like an philosopher: "What have we done to the world?"

[kanzakill]

7:18 day
And there I stood waiting for some guy ordered by the old geezer to help me. Rumor has it that the guy can play with time and such, must be useful when it comes to dealing with gals. For my case, I only wanted him to somehow make Arthas another geezer so he could concentrate on training his bloody ghouls instead of going all Shiverlance-in-love. Suddenly I felt something hitting my horn and making blue sparkles on it. "UGH" - A bug guy suddenly appeared out of no where while screaming. From what I had seen, I could assume that the idiot hit my horn while charging at me. And then the guy fell on the ground unconscious leaving me with the face of a bugged bug.

[lehoangminh]

Keep going ! there is no rule about that !

[kanzakill]

7:25 day
"Thanka hella lota man!" said the new guy right after he got his consciousness back. "Da olda told me to help ya brotha" - his tone suddenly changed - "but for your own undeniable good, please prevent yourself from recklessly attempting to give me ANY order regarding this tricky matter. Honestly, mutual understanding is always necessary for a good team, but in some special cases one must be strong independently in order to ultimately achieve the best result possible." - it changed back - "A veria stronga guy, Harbringa, taught me that." I slapped his face and then we continued on our little journey. Whada da fuka will he senda mah next tima?

[willalwaybenoob]

FUUU!!!! SUPA AWESOME STORY IN DIARY STYLE!

Hey, this story is very awesome and you added very interesting personality to NA(compared to what he usually says) Also, this diary style is one of my favourite type of wrtiting, due to the fact I read Darren Shan. Keep it up! I want moar.

[The Berserker]

nice! the other side of the nerubian assassin! but how the hell does he write on his diary or something?

[InfestedFirman]

That is a VERY good question..

[kanzakill]

7:30 day
After "disabling" some ghouls on the way, we finally reached the forest. "Heya brotha, I need to do something privata ..." said the new guy before he went into a withered bush. Could not care about but the potentially polluted atmosphere, I went uphill and started planning. My mind was full of thoughts when a shriek from nowhere broke them all. The new guy whose body was covered with dead leaves was running toward me at his highest speed while screaming like a little ladybird. Chasing him were a big bad bluffing bird and two smaller ones. With a little lament, I could tell that someone had just innocently irrigated those bluffing birds' "leaves" ... Seemed to me that being a environment-unfriendly minion of the Scourge was right after all.

[kanzakill]

7:32 day
I was standing there looking at the impaled bluffing birds while Seran - the new guy - was weeping and apologizing to those corpses. I stood there and watched as the big fireball withered the already withered scenery. Withered trees. Withered soil. Withered air. And so were us and the nearby monsters which were attracted by the scent of blood. The scent still lingered although roars and shrieks had already filled the whole atmosphere. Seran eventually stopped to stand up in front of the incoming enemies. But this time he didn't have to worry about apologizing. Those corpses would soon become his allies, which was the important thing. What happened after that was not, whether it was for the killed or the killers. All would die, and most of this cursed land's inhabitants already had.

[Kriegskanzler]

All would die, and most of this cursed land's inhabitants already had.

Damn, that was really a deep line. I like it!

[kanzakill]

Originally Posted by FuhrerKanzler02

Damn, that was really a deep line. I like it!

It was supposed to be a dark joke!
I failed again.

Placeholder.

[Kriegskanzler]

Ooops. Sorry about that. I thought you were trying to be rhetorical. I still like it anyway.

[willalwaybenoob]

Wow, your stories are really interesting!